phone call most foul

ding dong the chickens is gone. i was feeling litigious this morning so i called the police to report a noise disturbance as a result of our neigybor's poultry clucking, and low-and-behold the chickens is no more. words can't quite describe my elation at the newfound sounds of silence. and just ask me how guilty i feel about it.

it's supposed to rain all weekend, but there's a party i want to go to tomorrow night so i'm conflicted. i may just compromise and stay in my room and get drunk. happy mediums.

i'm selling 14 of my vhs tapes as a lot on ebay for nine bucks, so if anyone is interested then just click here. if you don't want to pay nine bucks make me an offer i can't refuse. these are they:

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
Scarface (2-VHS)
The Matrix
Swingers
The Shawshank Redemption
Less Than Zero
Traffic
Pollock
Desperado (w/ Antonio Banderas)
Reservoir Dogs
Angela's Ashes
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Memento
Wonder Boys

not a bad lot of movies, i'm just converting to dvd. if you buy within the next ten minutes i'll throw in some crack rock and toilet paper free.

album du jour: helium the dirt of luck

across the street today there was a tree removal company cutting down this giant oak tree, which i believe was dead anyway, in our neighbor's yard. when they cut the main trunk and the behemoth toppled over it shook the ground rather vehemently. at the time i was here at my computoer doing god knows what, and i about pissed myself. it was like that scene from donny darko when maggie gyllenhall enters her house at the beginning of the movie and you see the entire house shake (which we later find out is a plane engine falling on the house). it was pretty weird, but definitely cool post hoc.

poor, cheap and lazy

the chickens hang around outside my bedroom window. i don't know how i feel about that. hungry maybe.

my lady friend is almost nine years my senior. i rather like that. you hear alot these days about younger men dating older women, since i care so much about what the rest of the world is doing, especially hollywood...

i woke up and went walking this morning (by which i mean noon) then cut the grass for my lovely aunt, although there was very little grass and very many leaves. i don't ask questions.

riddle me this - do i have to pay to put pictures up on here? i know it's only about five bucks a month, but i'm cheap and poor.

i'm going to sell all my vhs tapes as a lot on ebay. tired of dealing with clutter.

album du jour: her space holiday young machines

nepotism

my twin 11-year old cousins are sleeping over tonight. i'm always happy when they do since it offers me an opportunity to corrupt their young minds with various inappropriate media (for instance, i showed them american psycho one night. isn't it a classic though? shouldn't kids watch classics?). the way i see it, i'm giving them the knowledge that will help them in social circles that i never had, and still don't in many ways. that way they don't just act like an amalgomation of their parents, as i was relegated to doing in my formative years. psycho-babble.

speaking of parochial misadventures - our allustrious ltg (little teenage gangster) neighbors somehow procured a chainsaw with which to amuse themselves. odd, since their yard is roughly twelve feet by twelve feet and contains nothing in the way of plant life. i should just buy a gun from a pawn shop and leave it on their doorstep. sooner or later they'd have to do themselves in, accidentally or otherwise. social darwinism at it's finest.

my friend cindy and i are having a movie night tonight. she's bringing children of the corn, which i have never seen and am very much looking forward to. on the subject of movies, i bought the following dvd's today, despite my resolution to curb my spending habits of late:

less than zero
better off dead
swingers
jawbreaker
freeway

most were from the $5.88 bin at wal-mart, which you really can't beat (if i were a richer man i would boycott wal-mart forever - corporate bitches). i've only seen the first three.

album du jour: royal trux cats & dogs

-insert title here-

ohh all you poor bastards who have to work on such a nice rainy day such as today. take solace in the fact that i am quite comfortable laying in bed while all others are braving the cold world outside. who really wants a job.

ohio lottery woman - cry me a river. life sucks and we all die penniless, welcome.

is anyone else getting soured on howard dean? the further this thing goes on the more i think he'd have absolutely no chance against george bush. i'm almost starting to root for wesley clark actually. it's not that dean has bad ideas - quite the contrary - but there are things he says that someone campaigning for a presidential nomination shouldn't say (i hearken back to the confederate flag remarks, and others). clark just looks better on paper going against our fearless leader, and frankly i'd support the person who has the best chance of beating him. nibb high football rules.

album du jour: happy mondays pills 'n thrills and bellyaches

sick like dog. can't talk or swallow. must.....finish...sentence...

another man's treasure

i sold about twenty of my old cd's on ebay this past week. going through my old collection really makes me wonder what the hell was wrong with me way back when (i had a dave matthews band and jesus jones cd in there). then i wonder what the people who bought them from me present day are like - perhaps just like me about 10 years ago? musical taste is a curiously indicative hobby. it's always good to discover artists you really like and then go back to listen to their earlier work, so i have to applaud the retroactive sensibility of the thing. and i guess i can't really throw stones, since after all these are my adolescently archaic cd's which at some point i thought were worth buying (or scamming a music club for). and even though i'm glad someone wants this stuff, i have to mourn the fact that there is want for such crap. but imagine what i'll consider crap ten years from now...

album du jour: pussy galore dial m for motherfucker

not an easy task when you google "pussy galore" looking for a decent band website. bunch of perverts in this world (only kidding - i bookmarked everything)

shake it like a polaroid picture

ever notice how, no matter how low your self-image, when you see yourself in a photograph it's always worse than you think. especially with a flash - it's not as if i look pale like a vampire as it is, but i think my complexion actually reflects the light causing my face to look...well...illuminated (which it never does otherwise. usually i'm try for very dark and brooding - the whole byronic thing). i just need to get my hands on some adobe photoshop and i'll be sated.

speaking of satiation, i just bought donnie darko on dvd, in an effort to beef up my somewhat paltry dvd collection. i also would like to unload some of my vhs's, although i doubt i could find buyers for some of them. i really just want to free up space on my desk, so i have a clutter-free space upon which to bang my head when the mood strikes me. i don't think that's unreasonable. goddamned clutter. makes me want to hit my head on the.....oh. fuck.

album du jour: burnside project the networks, the circuits, the streams, the harmonies

lament

it's not the end of the world, but if it were the sky outside would really be appropriate - very ominous and brooding. it's just raining slightly and is eerily sans thunder. it reminds me of ghostbusters 1.

yesterday i just realized i can score (check out) movies from our local library, which is easily within walking distance. i suppose i could also check out some of these new-fangled "books" that you hear so much about these days. we here in milton don't take too kindly to them wordy-words though. i'm such an ignorant bastard sometimes.

the thing i regret most about 2003 was the lack of any kind of personal inertia.

the thing i liked most about 2003 was the over-indulgence, which i also hated.

album du jour: the butchies are we not femme?

this is a really cool site, surf even if you don't care

where does he get those wonderful toys

so many of my christmas presents require a usb port on my computer - my canon, my external hard drive, scanner (not a new item - just one i happened to find in my old closet), mp3 player, and wireless keyboard/mouse receiver. and since my desktop is somewhat old it only has 2 ports, so i'm using my laptop's as well (the two are networked). i feel mad.....delightfully, whimsically mad (sometimes i smell my hands because they remind me of my mother!)!

and also i feel a bit out of control - buying dvd's like they're going out of style. i also bought these really boss leather wristbands (rockstyle) to go with the leather condom i bought. all studded, naturally.

is louisiana really that disagreeable that it has to be 80 fucking degrees in january? isn't it unpleasant enough?

album du jour: the cranes population 4

litter critter

while away from the house we left five litterboxes and a huge pile of food for the cat, and today i was cleaning this shit out of the boxes while the cat was sitting atop the dryer staring at me. she had this look on her face like "yes, you'll clean up my shit and you'll like it bitch". it was not one of my most dignifying moments. probably the worst of the year so far, although the initial hours of 2004 are a bit hazy.

i was up until 7 this morning, and consequently slept the first day of the year away.

why am i hearing about the "word of the year" every other minute lately? is it that slow of a news period? there's an election coming up. do something with that.

i do not forget old acquaintences

okay, wonderful to be back. i need to go take some sort of shower and get dressed for the new year's festivities. 2003 0 a crappy nut-sucking year all-around. 2003 sucks big fat baby balls. i will make 2004 my bitch and ride the fucking snake way into the cosmos. it's a leap year. it's an election year. i'll do my personal 2003 recap later, i have to lockup and get drunk now. auld lang syne bitches.

in my beautiful balloon

i get to go flying really early again tomorrow - 7:30 in the a.m isn't as bad as 4:30 in the a.m., but waking up early for me just sucks - no matter what you definition of "early" is. here's mine:

early (adj.) - having to do anything prior to wanting to

flying has gotten to be such a pain in the ass, alhtough i guess it always has been. going from lafayette to san antonio, and vice versa, is especially monotonous because the flights are so short you end up spending more time checking in and boarding and taxiing and being anally probed (although i'm sure some people like that) than you actually do in the air. there's always a stopover either in houston or dallas, which i don't understand. i don't even really give a shit about the security issues - anyone trying to take down a flight from dallas to lafayette would just be doing the passengers a big favor (hope i'm not done any favors tomorrow. praise allah). not that i don't enjoy the wonrderful aerial vantage of the scenic lake charles sulphur refineries and the sabine delta. sometimes i like to drink beer in a skybar on the stopover, but i don't have enough time tomorrow, plus i don't really want to be that guy drinking beer before 10 a.m. this is texas though, so maybe that's not as much of an impropriety.

album du jour: boss hog whiteout

with karate i'll kick your ass

few people realize that tenacious d actually aired first in 1997 on hbo, with the six episodes that are now on the complete masterworks dvd. i actually watched and taped (and fully appreciated) them way back when, so i feel a bit like i got in on the gorund floor with the now-famous d. does this make me a trend-setter? oh yeah, definitely, without a doubt. just to let all of you know, i've started wearing skidz again (i thought it was time for a comeback - fashion is cyclical), so if anyone want to start wearing them now and really get accolades a couple years down the road for being inventive, then by all means do as i do.

i fought the mob and the mob won

there is this audio/video store here in san antonio call bjorn's (swedish i believe). it is a virtual disneyland for those into home audio and video playthings. i'm never going to be the same. this store has 3 differen encased rooms for surround-sound system demonstrations and 3 or 4 movie theater rooms - not just living rooms with tv's in them, literally rooms that look like microcosms of movie theaters. very similar to the ones you see in celebrities' homes on cribs. after seeing that i think my new mission in life is to one day own one room like that from which i will never have to leave. also they set up an entire house (literally), with kitchen, bedroom, living room, office, the whole nine, with various sound and video schemes. i know this all may bore many people, but i'm an audiophile so i totally creamed the jeans.

i also had to run into best buy to exchange a disfunctional xmas gift. i always hate having to meander the hoi polloi, especially the day after the day after christmas. a little reminder to myself why i hardly go out anymore.

album du jour: the rentals return of the rentals

kith and kin

yesterday for the first time in almost a decade i had a phone conversation with my older brother. he's my half brother really, from my dad's first marriage. he's in north carolina and apparently is in almost the exact same state of indecidion that i am, in terms of what to do with life. we talked for a couple of hours and it seems he and i have much more in common than do my younger brother and i, which just makes me lament even more the fact that we haven't kept in touch. it's nice to know that i'm not the only one in the family who's wracked with incertitude.

and you know, the only reason i consider myself to be unsuccessful in life up to this point is because i'm constantly comparing my crrrent situation against some judeo-christian ideal of what life should be, i.e. the job, apartment, car, financial stability, strict moral adherence, etc. i need to start consciously changing my thought processes to exclude comparisons of such a nature. it i took my parents' goals for me (and i have a hunch what are most people's parents' goals for them) and excluded them from self-evaluation, i really have very little i disapprove of about myself. of course i'd also have to discredit some societal definitions of what's acceptable, as do we all, and i think i would be a much happier individual. none of this is easy, considering my self-image is intrinsically just an amalgomation of comparisons to "norms", which are all innate in my mind, but it's a healthy step.

album du jour: the smiths strangeways here we come

ansel adams

my parents, aunt, and grandmother are in the living room watching a movie they have all seen several times. this morning, being xmas and all, there were several new dvds in our stockings. yet still they stick with the tried and true. just goes to show how the older you get the more averse to change you are. there's also a video rental store not 5 minutes down the road, although i'm sure it's closed. but they still never rent anything. only when i'm in town.

my brother and i are jockeying for time on my mom's new dell. my father bought her a 20 inch flat screen monitor to go with it, which, in case you don't know, runs around a grand. add that to the wireless keyboard/mouse and the fact that he more than likely bought it at retail, and good gravy. i should start sucking up holding out for more.

i got a really cool digital camera, but it's pretty compact and i'm afraid i'm going to lose it one night while trying to take it out on the town with me to immortalize debauchery. hey me, remind myself that's what disposables are for.

i'm going to go eat ham now. that's not a euphemism. sick bastards.

album du jour: edie brickell volcano

holly-jolly

when i was in fourth grade i thought this was about the funniest thing i had ever heard or would ever hear. consequently i still remember it.

t'was the night before christmas
and all through the house
everyone felt shitty
including the mouse

dad at the whorehouse
and mom smoking grass
i just settled down
for a nice piece of ass

when out on the lawn
i saw a big dick
i knew in a minute
it must be saint nick

he flew down the chimney
like a bat out of hell
i knew in a minute
the fat fucker had fell

he filled our stockings
full of pretzels and beer
and a big rubber dick
for my brother the queer

back up the chimney he went
with a thunderous fart
the fat son of a bitch
blew the chimney apart

he spat and he cursed
as he flew out of sight
"piss on you all,
have a helluva night"

moo ha-ha

i heard on the news that the union for department store employees (apparently there is such a thing) is raising a lawsuit charging that the constant repitition of christmas music being played during employees' shifts causes mental distress (and/or duress, i don't remember exactly). my knee-jerk reaction was to lament the fac that, once again, our judicial system allows such litigation to occur. but then i thought about the song "rockin around the christmas tree" (by brenda lee i think), and couldnot have been more sympathetic. my family likes to have that elevator-background ambiance christmas music in the background of our living room/kitchen and i really can't stand it.

and mad cow disease is finally here. i always thought the mad cow would be a terrific mascot. all you would need for a costume would be a cow mask with some painted-on slanty eyebrows. and get really good saying moo with attitude.

album du jour: komeda the genius of

i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts

remember people we have to be considerate in all facets of life, not just while driving and grocery shopping. i waited with an overflowing bladder in the passenger seat of my dad's truck for 45 minutes (i was seriously pissed) while he yakked it up with future neighbors about nothing even remotely consequential. i emptied some evidence of my discomfort into his nearby coffee mug, which was later thrown away.

and tomorrow is my first of four visits (while here) to the therapist, just over the river and through the woods. not sure if i want to comment or not. not sure if the whole thing will make a lick of difference or not.

they're coming to take me away ha-ha!

album du jour: call and response call and response

favorite albums 2002

always i will remember 2002 as the year i spent rotting in a little rock rehabilitation center for the visually challenged. the following albums kept me sane (rather, as sane as i managed to stay - debatable):

1. sahara hotnights - jennie bomb
2. nada surf - let go
3. pretty girls make graves - good health
4. brendan benson - lapalco
5. the apples in stereo - velocity of sound
6. rilo kiley - the execution of all things
7. damone - from the attic
8. simian - we are your friends
9. frou frou - details
10. ash - free all angels
11. interpol - turn on the bright lights
12. supergrass - life on other planets
13. tegan and sara - if it was you
14. doves - the last broadcast
15. elf power - creatures
16. the cripples - dirty head
17. the get up kids - on a wire
18. the 5.6.7.8.'s - teenage mojo workout
19. radio 4 - gotham
20. neko case - blacklisted
21. clearlake - cedars
22. rjd2 - deadringer
23. sleater-kinney - one beat
24. tender trap - film molecules
25. ben lee - hey you. yes you
26. gomez - in our gun
27. enon - high society
28. ladytron - light & magic
29. superdrag - last call for vitriol
30. bratmobile - girls get busy
31. dressy bessy - sound go round
32. i am the world trade center - tight connection
33. the stone roses - second coming
34. raveonettes - whip it on
35. the reputation - the reputation
36. the wannadies - before and after
37. coldplay - a rush of blood to the head
38. tahiti 80 - wallpaper for the soul
39. ...and you will know us by the trail of dead - source tags and codes
40. badly drawn boy - about a boy (soundtrack)
41. the quails - atmosphere
42. the maybellines - chatfield holiday
43. chemical brothers - come with us
44. revolutionary hydra - knockout to dispense
45. something corporate - leaving through the window
46. the no-no's - let your shadow out
47. ok go - ok go
48. dot allison - we are science
49. the streets - original pirate material
50. saturday looks good to me - saturday looks good to me
51. the rogers sisters - the purely evil

honorable mention:

division of laura lee - black city; the walkmen - everyone who pretended to like me is gone; foo fighters - one by one; french kicks - one time bells; the sinking ships - out of key harmony; masters of the hemisphere - protest a dark anniversary; the reindeer section - son of evil reindeer; midwest product - specifics; the donnas - spend the night; shimmer kids - the natural riot; phantom planet - the guest; bon voyage - the right amount; duraluxe - the suticase; the telescopes - third wave; the breeders - title tk; deathray - white sleeves

i'm waiting for the cab to come take me to the aeroport. my back hurts and i don't have any good pain-killers to help me through the flight. please jesus don't let me be stuck between two fat people, like last time... those seats aren't big enough for regular people. i have my RIO s50 and a hobo stick. where i lay my hat is home. vaya con dios.

godless

i have to leave the house at 4:30 in the a.m. to catch my 5:30 flight to san antonio (isn't that great - i have to wake up at an ungodly hour to take a trip to an ungodly place where i will spend and ungodly and exorbitant amount of time twiddling my thumbs. texas - ungod's country). i'm debating whether i should get some sleep or none at all. i want to sleep on the flight, however i think i'll have a better chance of doing that if i get a couple hours right now. what does it matter, i can sleep anywhere and anytime. free nelson mandela.

album du jour: the superjesus sumo

monkey see

there was a special on vh1 earlier entitled "a playa's guide to scarface," all about what our various modern hip-hop personalities find so endearing about the movie, heralding it as an archetype for their business philosophies and attitudes (if you've ever watched cribs you'll notice how many of the celebs like to pull out their scarface dvd during the living room tour). they all admired tony montana's balls (metaphorically speaking), bravado, lifestyle, clothing...everything about the character. what was funny though was that not a one mentioned the fact that tony montana ends up face down in his own bloody fountain with god knows how many rounds in his torso. isn't it obvious to anyone else that this character is not one to be emulated? has noone learned anything from 2pac or biggie? the fountain he's face-down in even reads "the world is yours"! does anyone know what hubris means? blaring flashing neon warning signs to anyone else? can i think of another rhetoric question?

album du jour: the notwist neon golden

notwist is just some good funky jams with good basslines. this has really suited my taste lately. also check out brassy

brick-a-brack

it is colder than jesus in my room right now. i am quite happy with it (now is the winter of my discontent!).

i'm developing this detrimental habit of sleeping from 5 or so in the evening until 11, then going back to sleep at 2, through until the afternoon, all with the aid of my wonderful friends the equate family of generic antihistamines.

everyone mark your calendars - sunday is the premiere of the e! true hollywood story on richard gere. how could it not be entertaining. alas poor lemmywinks, i knew him well.

maggie gyllenhall was on jon stewart yesterday. i've always found her utterly adorable and i know why. there's this thing that some people do when they laugh that i find very endearing, they sort of raise their forehead when they smile or laugh (if that makes sense at all), which lifts the skin in between the eyes. i wish i had a picture of what i mean. it's almost a look of surprised delight. at any rate, maggie gyllenhall, in addition to being engaging and hella cute (hella? where the fuck did that come from), posesses this feature. plus she picks some really great movies to work on, and will one day be mine.

album du jour: jack off jill clear hearts grey flowers

i've seen this video many times before. it's by a band called "the darkness", and it's just about the greatest thing i've ever seen, ever. and not just on tv. maybe steve perry and co. came close with their videos, but this is, just, great.

strategery

do people really believe that saddam hussein was one of our greatest threats? as far as foreign dictators and the potential harm they could cause us, he was one of the lesser evils. and now big w. will get credit, probably win another four years, and in the course of his tenure inspire thousands of once passive middle-eastern dissidents to elevate their distaste for american interference into a very active pursuit of terrorist reaction (mission accomplished!). hussein was a tyrannical maniac, no question, but what of kim jong il? there is a virtual holocaust occurring in north korea because he diverts all his country's resources to their military and weapons programs while countless numbers of his own people starve to death.
but we don't want to address such a problem - they have the bomb.

speaking of countries supporting nuclear proliferation, very few people realize that one of the worst offenders is pakistan. they not only have an active nuclear program, but are in a perpetual nuclear standoff with india and, worst of all, sell the technology to other countries.

saudi arabia is one of the worst culprits in terms of perpetuating a friendly training environment for terrorists, but of course they're friendly big oil so we won't disturb them either.

so why iraq. because of september 11. not because saddam had anything to do with the attack (as much as everyone wants to believe it, and does), but because it gave our ever overly-stalwart administration a suitable reason to do what our leader has wanted to do for some time. and being a country of bull-headed big-guns big-tits petroleum pissing-contest brutes that we are, we believe headlines and pictures, and don't bother reading the articles. say jump and we'll say how high. especially when we think we're hitting back (which i think alot of people have been wanting to be able to do for some time, or at least been wanting to think they're justified in doing. make sense?).

right now it's a great morale booster for our friends serving in iraq that saddam was found, and for that i am very glad. really though i think his capture will ultimately be a bad thing, especially if it leads to four more years. no one will ever agree with me, and/or think me unpatriotic and/or unamerican (whatever that is anymore), but wait five years and see what the retrospective looks like.

sorry about going off on a political tirade. i had to write about something other than my non-existent existence (ha, and ha). from here until next november i'm going to be nervous about anything good that happens for bushy. we should all just bend over (i hope i'm nearby when the blonde from that virgin mobile commercial bends over). or apply for jobs with haliburton.

album du jour: radiohead hail to the thief

appropriate no? bush = honest -if- 2 + 2 = 5

thoughts about my prostate

time shouldn't be represented in a line. it's really just a single point (thank you margaret atwood). the past exists only in memory and the future is obviously indeterminable. i'm waiting for the day i wake up at fifty (should i live that long) and think back to when i was 25 and say to myself "fuck it seems like a minute ago". these thoughts pervading my mind almost make me want to end it all right now and just get it over with. not because i'm depressed or immersed in self pity or anything (which i coincidentally am), but just because one day i'll be getting chemotherapy and pissing into a bag and will only be able to think about what a waste my life was. i'm 25 right now and am already doing it (regretting wasted time, not pissing in a bag). what's worse is i have no clue how to prevent such a situation. no path i can think of seems like it wouldn't be an utter meaningless existence, which really isn't my fault. i should just be embittered that all lifestyles available are shit and curse the universe for forcing me to choose one. i'd like to be a rock star (how original) but that would probably entail me getting out of bed at some point, so fuck it. it's not a really purposeful life anyway. i'll just wallow in my outward and inward contempt until i have to go to the store to buy food.

i'm just glancing over some of the other louisiana blogs and it's funny how many people use the words "rant and rave" in their descriptions. i'm not making fun - i used "ranting and rambling" in my original title description (or un-original description, rather).

methodone methodone

for the last decade or so i have been a diet coke addict. my consumption rates vary, but in the last year or so i've been operating at a 4-can-a-day level. it's the caffeine mostly, but it's just always been something i can't start my days (or nights, depending on when and if i wake up) without. for the last week, however, i haven't had a single one. i've been drinking my green tea in the morning, which is much more suitable for cold weather (i always leave my windows open in the winter). and i am just astounded at how much more energy i have since i gave up the dc. people say all tha time that aspertane (from the artificial sweeteners) is bad for you in many ways, and usually that just made me want it more. but i really think that it was draining me, despite the caffeine. so now, as a major lifestyle change, i am officially off of diet coke.

i bet if a crack addict read this entry they'd want to kick my ass. (diet coke? ever suck dick for 25 cents and a piece of cardboard nigga?!?). what am i saying, crackies don't read.

album du jour: stretch princess fun with humans

check out their home page and look at the guy on the left (i think his name is james wright). he has this oh-shit-man-i-just-trashed-my-dad's-beamer-on-prom-night-and-i-forgot-my-name look. i found it tres drole.

hello weschester! this...is...

as additional evidence that i have way too much time on my hands, i've started writing down different potential band names that i think would be cool. if anyone wants to rip one off, i would only be flattered. i'll probably be adding to this list into perpetuity. without further adieu:

- oh happy dagger!
- big titty
- what the hell, robert
- hog honda and the hungry hungry hippos
- beau so gay and the acadian screaming queens
- robert downey junior
- lesbian dyke hoarde army two thousand
- get thee to a nunnery
- happy hetero and the asexual bi-standers
- sloth love chunk
- hot sluts and monkey love at the zoo
- spears for brittney
- i like dinosaurs
- chomp on these nuts
- my wonderful friends the equate family of generic antihistamines
- damn saucy wench
- so i had to push her
- scooty puff sr.
- sultry sows of the south seas
- past nastification
- abdomen enigma (a.k.a. colon query)
- who moved my cheese?
- fuck your yankee blue jeans
- free tibet
- jesus fetus
- baby's fat balls
- man-boobs and the asians
- butterfly twat attack
- the grassy junior high

well today was really shitty. i have some rather serous monetary problems, but at least it came at a good time during the year - not alot of stuff i have to buy for people or anything. merry christmas movie house! you motherfucking movie house!

i want to write more, but i'm afraid that it would just be too loathesome and angrily contrived. so i'm going to take my sleeping pills and go to sleep.

day of infamy

today is the anniversary of the attack on pearl harbor, and everyone seems to solemnly remember and appropriately mourn the tragedy. but what about the ben affleck/josh hartnett pearl harbor movie? was it not at least tantamount to the event itself in terms of devastation? i have boycotted bruckheimer films ever since (and seriously questioned why i never did from the get-go). perhaps the film's opening should be a national day of rememberence - for the countless innocents who threw away seven fifty in hopes of experiencing a worthy tribute, and instead found themselves immersed in a quagmire of trite dialogue, overacting, and characters that we wanted to die horrible flaming deaths. not to mention the aww-shucks-ma'am western slang/love triangle/best friend's pregnant wife/bastard child named after best friend/soap drama aspects. it all makes me swell up with something other than civic pride.

eat your heart out menendez

my only personal christmas tradition: i drink whiskey with ice while watching it's a wonderful life and sometimes make myself tear up a bit at the end. i have to be alone with all the lights out whilst this happens. it sounds lonely but i really do enjoy it. i will be spending the holidays back in san antonio, as i may have mentioned, and my two-week visit is going to be peppered with visit's to my mom's psychologist, so that i may allay her and my dad's concerns. i just learned that she needed one - apparently because of me and my life's lack of direction (or my reverse interpretation of it). i had no idea what to give my mother for christmas, but now i've found out that i've already given her the gift of emotional distress. as a stocking stuffer i may inflict some manic depression or bipolarity. i'll just throw the guilt of causing my mother mental anguish on the pile of esteem-fucks i currently push up the hill. 'tis the season afterall.

album du jour: sun kil moon ghosts of the great highway

here's something that i think aptly typifies the grammy awards: fountains of wayne has been nominated for best new artist. that's right - after eight years of being together and three albums. i bet the editors of rolling stone issue grammy nods. and all is right with the world.

how marvelous it is when the weather turns cold. it just makes everything better.

i just got done cutting grass (hopefully for the last time this "winter") and noticed a familiar smell of a different kind of grass wafting over from our upper-class neighbor's chicken coop. low and behold, our pre-teen gangster friends emerge, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. i thought about threatening to call the police on them if they didn't share with me, but then thought better and let sleeping dogs lie.

i'm just a little sad today. especially this time of the day, when the day hasn't quite gone and the night isn't quite here, and somewhere scott baio is plowing a woman he doesn't love. are there symptoms of listlessness or is listlessness a symptom of something else? probably both. but at any rate, i'm there. maybe i should turn on a light.

daze of malaise

so i know i've been a total bastard about writing. i was out of town, in texas of all places, which can really be confusing. days in texas to me feel like some sort of twilight-zone story where it's daytime all the time, and days and weeks and months and years have no relevance. it's just this blazing expansive brightness all the time. and it occurred to me that the idea of texas is just to make everything big. all the stores and homes are so spread out. it takes 30 minutes to get anywhere. it's miserable.

i did end up skipping my family thanksgiving celebration at my uncle's house. i stayed home eating potato chips and watching a james bond marithon. i don't even care for james bond that much, there was just nothing else on. come to think of it i don't really like potato chips either.

and now xmas is coming and i'm not in the mood for it. it's too much of an assault on the senses. and i have to go back to tx on the 20th. i get to help my father lay down plumbing for their new house. guess how much i'm looking forward to that. it gets harder and harder to be around my parents. it's really draining.

album du jour: breakbeat era ultra-obscene

this link takes you to the mtv.com bio about breakbeat era. it was the best i could find.

shoot dang

today my pa and i trapsed all over the san antonio area visiting home depot, a tile shop, a flatbed trailer for sale on the side of the road, and my uncle's new house addition, still under construction. all in all, it was an extremely boring and exhausting day. however i did get to spend time with my dad, which makes it all more than worth it.

we're supposed to go to my uncle's thrusday for a big family thanksgiving.... fest, but i believe i'm going to fein an illness to avoid the whole thing. i'm extremely down on social gatherings of any kind at the moment, especially ones where family members who haven't seen you in a while individually ask you how you've been, where you're working, what's new, and other questions which i'd rather not answer once, much less repeatedly. i think i'd rather come across as being rude than a deadbeat, so truancy is alright with me. plus i could put on my own thanksgiving extravaganza here by myself involving me lying like a beached whale in front of the tv eating doritos off my own gut.

album du jour: curve come clean

well yippee yi yo kayay. the flight was fine, although i am currently bored out of my mind. i have to accompany my father to home depot, of all places, to pick up tile. that is about the most comprehensively depressing sentence i've ever heard.

yesterday was a nice day for a white wedding. boring trip, as expected. got drunk, as expected. new orleans is a toilet.

and now tomorrow i have to go to texas. i don't like texas. i don't care if it is god's country.

bullshit pandering

wasn't it great to see that at least the british aren't so lethargic or backwards-opinionated that they can't protest enmasse when our grand president comes a-callin. i wish more americans cared about our government the way the brits do. "this bush is no more.....it has ceased to be!"

my parents are flying in tomorrow evening. hopefully i can wrangle some new clothes out of mother. she loves to bribe me for my attention. and if anyone else wants to do the same, i shan't complain. actually my cousin is getting married in new orleans saturday, and when you think about it the whole wedding concept is just one big bribe - we bribe the couple for free food and drink by showing up, and in some cases giving gifts (and giving it six months), and they bribe use with food and wine so that their half of the church fills out and they don't look like losers. how sentimental am i.

the only thing i'm looking forward to is drinking to the happy couple. i'm feeling so generous i may drink to several happy (or unhappy) couples. especially those recent ones in massachussetts. it makes my heart smile to see jerry fallwell squirm.

album du jour: medicine the mechanical forces of love

medicine's new singer, shannon lee, is the daughter of bruce lee. and their original singer, annette zalinskas, was a member of the bangles way back when. i'm a useless fact monger.

gal-dern

when i'm doing my daily walking i have all these great thoughts to write down on here, and i try to make mental notes so i can remember them, but it's all an exercise in futility (the only real exercise i ever get). i really wonder how many brain cells i've killed over the years from the drinking, etc. i used to have a great memory.

speaking of drinking, i saw a commercial last night for those hangover pills that you're supposed to take before you go to bed after a drinking night, and supposedly you'll wake up hangover-free. but the problem i see with these is trifold: one, if i'm fucked up is there any chance i'm going to remember to take one? two, what drunk person has such keen dexterity that they can hang on to a very small pill long enough to get it into their mouth (unless the name of the piill ends in -xycontin or -alium or -anax...)? and three, if i took one while completely sober would i get drunk? that last one is inane, but i needed another bullet point so i could use the word "trifold" (i also considered "three-pronged"). and i feel my opinion on this matter should count, as i am the textbook definition of "target market".

next week i will be in san antonio visiting my parents et. al. family for the thanksgiving holiday. i think when i'm in texas i'm going to blog as a country boy. my nom-de-plume will be bill-bob dinkford (unless someone has a better one). i will not be listening to country music. san antonio is really more of a salsa area anyway.

i won't listen to salsa either.

album du jour: medicine her highness

this is only the second of the week. two more up and coming. just freaking fantastic.

wish i could score with hawk girl

you know it's almost impossible to have an original thought these days. everything, no matter how revolutionary or innovative you think it may be, has been done or thought of somewhere. and in most cases many many times. what a depressing thought. my personality and life is just a big amalgomation of cliches. i could do something really outlandish or extreme now and then....but someone has assuredly done it before, and probably even taken it further.

walking today i noticed that one of our neighbors has an astounding FIVE trash cans. i really wish i had my camera with me to share this with everyone (i'm getting one soon), because their yard could not have been more strewn with garbage. not a single one of the trash cans was even close to full capacity ( i couldn't even see garbage in a few of them, not that i stopped and made close examinations). what a nice example to explain irony to the lower classes.

then this little kid came to show me his incredible hulk action figure. it was kind of grotesque (and the toy was ugly too.....OH! SNAP! ETC.!).

i don't normally watch cartoons, but i caught the justice league on cartoon network last night, and there was this great line where hawk girl, mace in hand, flew at a creature to attack it and yelled "hawk girl smash!" it made me laugh, plus it could be a good band name.

album du jour: snowdonnas over now

flower child

ever notice how anytime people go on vacation they always use the saying "what happens in xxxxxx stays in xxxxxx". that really annoys me. it seems like just a jackass excuse people use to be sluts on vacation. again, too much tv for me.

i've actually been doing alot of yardwork this week. not just cutting the grass, which is surprisingly satisfying, but also digging up weeds in the flower beds and just some all-around grooming. aren't i the man-man. nothing more masculine than coddling your azaleas.

i woke up early to vote today, even though i doubt any of the people i voted for are going to win. still, i believe in the whole civic duty concept, so i had sort of a moral obligation.

album du jour: medicine the buried life

i just ordered about four cd's of medicine so i may be listing alot of them in the upcoming days. if my bloody valentine and curve had sex and produced offspring this is what they'd sound like.

wah sohhhh

i haven't laughed so hard in such a long time as i did while watching most extreme elmination challenge tonight. it's a stupid japanese stunt show, but sooo hilarious. my throat hurts from gafawing.

my cat seems hell-bent on being very obtrusive. she's trying to settle in between my arms while i'm typing on my computer. what an attention whore.

speaking of which, some of you may have noticed i've whored myself out a bit as well (notice the ads?). what can i say, i have to finance my every-growing liquid drano addiction.

my personality and the lifestyle to which i am accustomed are not conducive to working a nine-to-five job for little money and less appreciation.

and hey hey, le tigre is on last call tonight with will ferrell....that just makes my weekend.

album du jour: centro-matic love you just the same

mele Kalikimaka

this morning (afternoon really, my relative morning) i tried a can of red bull energy drink. it did not give me wings. it gave me a stomach ache. probably just as well though, as one can costs two dollars. i bet it would go well with vodka (what doesn't????).

i've noticed some other people have these lists of 100 interesting facts about themselves on their blogs. i've been thinking about doing it, although i have no idea whether or not i could make it to 100. i may comprise several different lists actually. i already have my depressing things going, then i may do the above-mentioned, and maybe a list of my 100 favorite albums. that would have to be an ever-changing lexicon though (the list is alive. and i think thursdays for me are now going to be shoegaze days and fridays are eighties days. although i'm not sure about this--i've not been a fan of theme days in the past. i had a bad experience once with a hawaiian shirt once (hey that could be interesting fact #1). i don't want to talk about it.

really i should make an entire page dedicated to shoegazing. at least for myself.

album du jour: cranes tragedy of orestes and electra

i need to stop spending money, i'm on a one-way road to nomoneyville (which i believe is in wisconsin somewhere). wish there wasn't so much goddam good music to buy. actually if i'm wishing for stuff i wish i had more money.

this is no novel idea

it is much easier to write about the negative. no news like bad news, misery loves company, on and on. when nothing terrible is going on all you have is the hum-drum minutia of everyday life, and it's problematic when blogging (for me anyway) because who really wants to read about a paper cut or stepping in dog shit. my stream of consciousness (goddam james joyce) then makes me wonder whether i write for myself or the reader(s) (a tad conceited of me to add that -s no?). but isn't that human nature - to seek the approval of others. maybe that's my stream of subconsciousness (suck on it joyce) rearing its ugly head. acquiescence sucks ass (try saying "acquiescence sucks ass" out loud - it's almost pretty).

album du jour: laika wherever i am i am what is missing

if you haven't seen bowling for columbine i would really recommend it. maybe my favorite movie i've seen in 2003 (although it came out in 2002).

it's going to rain. i need to cut the grass (and perhaps kick ass). i just know i'm going to step in dog shit. probably more than once. you'd think i'd be used to stepping in it by now. maybe afterward i'll open mouth and insert foot....what a lovely thought.

i received an e-card (or so i was lead to believe) from an anonymous admirer. i have a strong hunch though that i am being romanced by a marketing company. ah well, beggars can't be choosers (oh marketing company! that's it marketing company!! do it to me marketing company! yes yes yes!).

(un?)common denominators

i'm so weak. i have been sucked in. all i wanted to do was see what was on. flipping channels...i do it all the time. now i can't stop watching average joe on nbc, and i either completely hate myself or completely hate everybody else in the world (you too), or maybe i love everything (you too) like i'm on ecstacy. something is just not right with the universe tonight. what am i saying, when is everything right with the universe.

on the positive side i did get to see the eclipse.

album du jour: swervedriver mezcal head

i'm trying to go to bed without the aid of antihistamines and it just isn't working. maybe i'll stay awake all night so i can watch mystery science theater in the morning. i forget what time it comes on.

disgruntled icarus

occasionally on a quiet weekend night such as tonight i wonder how many people out there are making that double-backed beast simultaneously. kind of a peculiar musing right? it strikes me every now and then, and at best it's a fleeting thought (except of course when i have the inclination to write about it and immortalize it forever on a computer server somewhere). it has no effect on my mental state either way (believe it or not). human nature it is, yadda blah womp. anyway, just a thought.

i hope i can see the lunar eclipse tomorrow night. the lunars are always so much better than the solars. i think solar eclipses are the bastards of the eclipse world. fucking sun.

album du jour: enon high society

posthumous post

it's actually friday when i'm writing this...thinking of something noteworthy to mention about thursday. i spent all day pretty much downloading hotfixes and patches and service packs for my computer that i've been putting off forever. not sure why i was dreading it... but it's done.

thinking about buying a digital camera. just something cheap. my friend just bought a webcam and i was chatting with her yesterday while looking at her simultaneously. not a novel idea, but new to me. i initially wanted to get one too, but then i thought, do i really want people looking at me while i'm on here. i'd end up forgetting it was on and then molesting myself for all to see. and that just wouldn't be good for anyone.

album du jour: some girls feel it

juliana hatfield and frieda love from the blake babies reformed to make some girls with heidi glick (bass, formerly of the pieces). and if you don't know of the blake babies, well, my god.

spin city

while watching rich girls earlier on mtv (not proud of it, but at least applaud my honesty) i had a great idea for a freind of mine and i to make our own tv show called poor old dudes. instead of riding around in a limo, they could film us pushing his car down the road after it stalls. and come with us to goodwill as we look for clothes that could pass for semi-new (as opposed to the 5th avenue ventures of the rich girls). and also, instead of having our own private catered parties, we could be shown trying to get buzzed on cheap vodka before going to a no-cover bar with $1.00 bourbon (even though we sneak our own liquor in with small flasks). or us fucked up at 3 in the morning trying to make a meal out of whole wheat tortillas and ice cubes. perhaps a condiment or two. and our big drama scenes would involve us fighting over the last chalupa we saved up for from taco bell. yeah.

album du jour: tahiti 80 puzzle

do people with confederate flags on their pick-up trucks even vote???

stupefied, arbitrary and capricious

i've been rather busy all day with some entrepeneurial ventures, so i'm mentally drained at present. i will need napping soon. there should be a really entertaining debate tonight on cnn, as long as the posers don't ask stupid underwear-related questions. right now i'm rooting for sharpton. why the hell not.

my mp3 player came in the mail, sans ac adapter. i had a gut-wrenching conversation with an asian customer service rep concerning ordering another one. merd. i only mention the fact that she was asian because of the implied communication problems, not because i am an a-hole. i've heard there's enough anti-semitic sentiment going around at the moment anyway. peace and love, peace and love.

big day tomorrow. i am reborn anew (redundancey is intentional here) in my own being, hypothetically.

album du jour: teenage fanclub four thousand seven hundred and sixty-six seconds: a short cut to teenage fanclub

on principle i am against all greatest hits collections, but if you've never listened to teenage fanclub then i guess this is a good start. there are also 3 new ones that i thought were fab.

and how about dressy bessy on last call friday night...i love it when bands who are performing live really and truly exude this pure joy when they play. you can see which ones absolutely love their craft and wouldn't rather be doing anything else in the world. you could pick up on that from dressy bessy. and that tammy ealom...she could reeeeallly teach me a thing or two or twenty.

dark coupon

what does it mean to do things in moderation. hypothetically, if i avoided all things i considered to be exterme--the highs and lows of life--would i be happier? i hear people all the time say that moderation is key to happiness, but isn't it all relative? for instance, right now i either go out acting super-social and drink until i can't feel feelings, or i sit alone in my room, blinds drawn, without human contact and don't drink at all. therein lies a high and low for me. let's say there is someone else, a thirty-something married woman who regularly has trite dinner parties with her husband and a few other thirty-something couples on a weekly basis (they probably even have some anal rotating schedule worked out as to whose house they meet at each week). she doesn't get too drunk, if at all, partakes in conversations about danielle steele or window treatments (which would absolutely give me a nosebleed) and goes home at 9:30 or so. on a regular day she may have a glass or highball of something with dinner, or right after work, or whatever. and that's it. her high is a few drinks with friends weekly, and her low one or two daily.

what i'm thinking about in all this is whether imaginary lady dervies more overall happiness from her life of lower highs and higher lows than i do from my current existence comprised of spuradic binges of indulgence (high highs) and hibernation periods (low lows). and really, after all is said and done and you've grown accustomed to one lifestyle or the other, isn't it all just relative good or bad? wouldn't everything just average out?

i'm trying to contort my afforementioned lifestyle into more of a balanced one, closer to but by no means exactly like my example woman (i'd kill myself if i turned into a pastel asshat like that. i could get a part on friends though). i think this is what i hope to achieve by revamping my approach(es) to life and further honing of my societal acumen--happiness and/or contentment through relative moderation. it sounds a bit drab when posed that way. it won't be drab though because i could never tolerate being drab. the world has enough pastel asshats drinking starbucks and shopping with an ikia catalog.

album du jour: the shins chutes too narrow

this lp is almost brazen when compared with their former effort, but still great. the first track kind of floored me actually. bless their hearts.

"Thanks, Joe. Summit, New Jersey was 'burning with boredom now' until you and others reached into it so long ago and saved me from the inertia of typical expectations. And thank fuck for that."

Joe Strummer 1952-2002

i am a (mad) scientist

more regarding my metamorphosis: some of my adaptations will have to occur posthumously to my tentatively scheduled switchover (next week). obviously this isn't all going to be cut and dry (as nothing ever is, unless of course you ask a republican) and will take some fine-tuning. also i don't think i'm going to abandon the former personality completely. there are good aspects of my current self that i would like to retain, such as my penchant for indie and drumming and walking pensively outside. but hopefully the frequency with which i perform these tasks will increase in my next persona.

discipline will be key.

i'm also seriously considering publishing a different blog for the new guy (as was suggested to me by smash). i would still want to maintain the pcp though. still tooling around with this idea.

album du jour: dandy warhols welcome to the monkey house

this has been the album of the day before, but "i am a scientist" is my theme song of today (#5), in addition to being my entry title. also, zia mccabe is a babe and courtney taylor-taylor is full of piss and vinegar and a pompous ass in that good way.

i'm thinking about renting a santa suit to give out candy tonight

synergy

when i got out of the shower earlier i was looking at myself in the condensation-laden mirror. i was out of focus, blurry, and muttled. i liked the way i looked. then i wiped the moisture away and suddenly my faults were spelled out in more disappointing detail. i think that i, phillip, work well as a general idea. my life is good, but you have to put the qualifier "in theory" behind every adjective about it. i am artistic "in theory", i exercise alot "in theory", i'm a cool person "in theory." so forth and so on.

when my second persona comes into effect, sometime next week, i want to be all those things i'd like to think about myself only for real. i don't want to just have good intentions and ideas. i want to be the manifestation of those intentions. i've always suffered from laziness and/or procrastination and/or stupid choices. my other personality will do none of those things. my new personality will have no regrets. my new personality will seize every opportunity.

presently i am a good general idea. i work in theory. i want to work in detail though. to not just say things about myself, but to be those things. that, i think, will be the overall jist of my other persona.

album du jour: joy division unknown pleasures

there's a woman sobbing like crazy on cnn, rambling on about her house that was burned in the ca fires. it's about the most ridiculous thing i've ever seen. i understand the plight of having to rebuild and all, but jesus christ it's just stuff. i can never understand people's attachment to inanimate objects. all that should really matter are the memories, and you can never lose those (aside from senility, death, etc.). and this woman is saying how their neighbor saved their lives by letting them know the fire was coming (*ahembullshit) and about their little cookie jar and baby's first steps and blah blah blah. i'm not a total unsympathetic ass, i just hate it when people are so obtuse as to value things that really don't matter. and this woman is obviously a drama queen who likes the attention. i may burn down my house so i can be on cnn.

rumsfeld is a t-o-o-l

the house of yes

i formulated this theory earlier today that trying to improve myself is at best an arduous task, and i've come to believe an utterly futile one. therefore, i am going to give up fretting over phillip's shortcomings. they no longer concern me.

what i intend to do, is establish another persona, another person devoid of phillip. perhaps by acting as a totally different being i can perpetuate my initiatives of self-improvement. i won't work on phillip anymore, i will work on this new guy, whom i have not yet given a name to.

i'll have to think of a name and more specifics. the notion of splitting my personality is enough for now. i just ordered a real boss mp3 player on-line and the due date for the new guy's takeover will be the day it arrives. sometimes next week more than likely. by then i need a definite schematic of what all this will entail.

i would greatly appreciate suggestions, for a name, habits, mentality, etc. if i use your name you'll win a cookie.

album du jour: erase errata other animals

repultion of the day: network reality tv and shows about rich people

every time i start to forget just how fucking cool michael stipe is he shows up on leno with powder blue eyeliner and a t-shirt that says "emotionally unavailable".

for friday i was thinking about giving out my vhs collection for halloween, since i'm trying to consolidate my belongings. but now i'm feeling lazy so i'm not going to do that, and i think that i'm going to give the whole basket of candy i have to the first kid that comes up to the door so i can turn off the light and go to bed. when did everything that used to be so much fun turn into such a chore. where's the joy, where's the love people??

i'm not pissing on your shoe, it's raining

my god the democratic candidates all seem so limp. i liked bob graham, but he exited stage left. my favorite quote, from none other than al sharpton: "you can plant watermelon seeds but it won't grow oranges". either that or john kerry promoting his "kerry gone wild" tapes. i'd still vote for any one of them over bush. any day of the wekk and twice on sunday.

you know the country is fucked up when our economy sucks rectum, the only money we spend is on a country halfway around the world which we should have let alone, southern california is on fire (and governed by a hardbody), and president bush has just as good a chance of finding weapons in iraq as finding his own ass with two hands and a flashlight (that's not mine, i ripped it from tina fey on snl. i needed something else there).

no wonder all vh1 does these days is remember the 80's.

album du jour: neil halstead sleeping on roads

clatu berata nikto

wow, the american movie classics channel played alien, halloween, and army of darkness in a row tonight. i didn't expect as much from amc. a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

i'm feeling better although not 100%. regardless, i'm going to resume my routine tomorrow so i can feel like something of a living sentient being. i'm all drugged up again, so c'est lavie.

gasp wheeze

dear me my throat is sore. i'm taking all the wonderful over-the-counter meds i have for head colds. they're probably all just fucking tic-tacs though. and the weather finally got colder and i'm too sick to enjoy it. oh cold cruel world.

mtv's new sunday night ass-fest lineup is definitely not going to be part of my weekly routine. i'm twenty-five now, i don't have to put up with jackasses anymore. after all, my insurance premiums went down dammit.

this guy they're making over on queer eye for the straight guy also works behind the bar on the restaurant. check that shit out.

i wanna get hurt!

in honor of my new say anything... dvd, here are a list of things that depress me:

1. pretty girls
2. saturday afternoons
3. weekday morning fog
4. body hair
5. fm radio
6. weekends
7. auto repair shops
8. farms
9. other people's cooking
10. compassionate conservatism
11. okra
12. home depot, lowe's, etc.
13. the man show
14. clairvoyance
15. stupid rich whores
16. local news
17. gravel
18. empty mcdonald's containers on the side of the road
19. get-rich-quick infomercials
20. mtv
21. charlie's angels
22. dramatization
23. documentaries on the lives of rich people
24. network reality tv
25. overzealous hope
26. the nra
27. mississippi
28. "beware of dog" signs
29. tables for one
30. being drunk
31. being sober
32. tractors
33. road construction
34. burning leaves
35. industrial parts of towns
36. texas
37. family gatherings
38. items being sold on the side of the road
39. people who go crazy for fall foliage
40. unappreciated placation
41. girls gone wild
42. the monetarily wealthy
43. ups drivers wearing shorts
44. atv's
45. overdraft fees
46. librarians
47. mountain dew
48. styrofoam
49. women's clothing departments
50. beauty salons
51. dreams that are just a little too good

rocco all day long

what a fun and hedonistic time i had thursday night, and in fact yesterday and today. it's been a very nice birthday weekend. i rented the second charlie's angels movie and it was fucking spectacular. what else would you expect from a director named mc'g. very funny stuff. i rented the new re-enhanced version of the exorcist as well and was rather disappointed. having never seen it, i thought it was supposed to be "the scariest movie ever," as it was billed, so maybe my expectations were just a bit high. at any rate, i've seen better.

i actually sat through a six-hour the restaurant marathon today. it certainly churns up bad memories of my table-waiting days. days gratefully forgotten (i seem to have several periods in my live i consider "gratefully forgotten". ah well).

album du jour: the strokes room on fire

the first time i listened to this album i wanted to cry it was so good. hopefully it's not one of those things that sounds spectacular the first time you hear it and then gets very old very quickly. at the moment anyway i love it.

party on wayne

tonight i'm going out to eat with my aunt and then on to wherever the evening takes me. probably lying in a gutter somewhere until 10 tomorrow morning. i'm more than likely going to break my alcohol-free stretch i've been on. it's been a month though and not hard at all. of course who needs a drink when they're by themselves in their bedroom. although i do drink during those times occasionally as well. ca c'est sad.

i've gotten so much good new music the last couple of days. it really excites me. not in "that" way though. well, perhaps a little.

album du jour: brassy gettin wise

when i was taking out the trash earlier today i started whistling the theme song to dallas for no apparent reason. i don't know why i started thinking of it at that particular time, but what's even more peculiar is that i've never even seen an episode, yet i know the theme song.

the invisible man

i just bought the new travis cd (the first cd i've actually gone to a store and bought retail in about three or four years) and it's reminding me of all the times that i've listened to their previous efforts while in the extreme doldrums of my past. no doubt i will be able to make use of the new release in the same way(s). it's really good, although i've only listened to it twice. sometimes i start to like songs more as i listen to them repeatedly, sometimes less. but this is one of my favorite bands, so i think i'm in for the penny and pound.

going to buy this cd was actually my first time out of the house (out of milton, anyway) in about a month.

happy birthday brosef. i've got two years on you but you're more of an than i think i want to be adult . "send in the clowns" comes to mind. never thought i would make a streisand reference ever. i may as well go buy loafers now.

album du jour: travis 12 memories

sleepy sleeperson

is my "deadgayson" address offensive in any way? someone mentioned to me that it may be, and if so i will change it. i didn't think it was (it's just a great line from the movie heathers). i will do anything to dissuade the tide of ignorance if the name is questionable.

is 58 degrees coat weather?

i sleps for 18 hours last night. i did overdo it on the tylenol pm though, as i was a bit distraught and didn't feel up to the task of pandering to my own conscience.

sometimes i am very grateful for the world around me. i thihk i may be mildly bi-polar, if varying degress of the condition do exist. pretty soon i'll probably have type 2 diabetes as well, if i don't quit all the depression binging. i may try to find a support group for it.

i need this to be a good week. i'm going to try very hard to be positive and not dwell too much concerning that which i cannot change.

Desiderata

by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

album du jour: appleseed cast the end of the ring wars

why do i consistently feel inferior to everyone i know or see or hear of. it goes beyond rational thought. i don't know why people use trite adages, such as "it's 99 percent mental". yes, it is, you're absolutely right. so now what. how do i change my way of thinking. what if there are years and years of psychological damage and self-programming that need to be undone. so what now.

cock-a-doodle-doo motherfucker

was looking at our 15-year old little teenage gangster neighbor through my bedrrom window earlier. it was quite a scene--he was sitting in one of those cheap lawn chairs with his shirt off with all his chickens walking around him pecking at the ground. he was smoking a cigarette and ashing into this yellow bucket they have tied to the fence, and just staring at nothing. a penny for what was going through that troubled youth's mind. it would have made a nice abstract black-and-white picture if i had a camera, if i could somehow have fanagled a romantic aura from this little heathen and his chickens.

those foul and their pre-dawn yodling, incidentally, are the reason i don't leave my windows open at night. i think they have cockfights on saturday nights, so tonight i may make an exception.

also, i'm emotionally exhausted from having to deal with myself so much these days. i don't even know what that means.

i rented this movie called spun that sucked. it dealt with the lives of meth addicts/makers. i thought it would be good since jason schwartzman was in it and rushmore is one of my favorite movies. but it wasn't good. it sucked.

album du jour: kitchens of distinction the death of cool

dirty bubbles

not sure why but i was thinking about these two girls who i went to junior high with that hung out together all the time. their names happened to be dawn and joy. it just occurred to me today that those are both names of dishwashing soaps. i don't know why i think of that now, or why it never occurred to me before. i wonder if anybody who knew me in the past ever wonders what i'm doing, or who's alive and who's not. i just assume that at present everyone i went to school with has at least married once and shot out or fathered at least one demon spawn, if not several from different partners. i guess i grew up around alot of sluts. ironic that i didn't score until age 19.

i keep expecting to wake up from my days

"if you read your poetry aloud to me i'll have to show you to the door"

album du jour: my bloody valentine loveless

from "My Bloody Valentine" by Joe McGlinchey (Jan. 1996)

It was on one late December evening in 1991 that I received my first exposure to the band My Bloody Valentine. A friend and I were watching television and flipping through various channels. We finally settled on what I believe was MTV's "120 Minutes" program. For most of the videos we saw, we weren't terribly impressed. But throughout the My Bloody Valentine video, we didn't say a word. We just sat and listened. After the video, my friend managed to state, "Wow! That was very good!" I didn't think about them for the next month and a half.

In February, back at school in Boston, I made one of my usual excursions into Tower Records. By this time, I could barely remember the name of the band. I merely thought of them as "that blissed-out band with vocals but no lyrics". I picked up their latest release, "Loveless", brought it home, and popped in my roommate's CD player. I remember that by the time I reached track #3 (a short, bizarre instrumental entitled "Touched"), my roommate, all the while in the same room, frowned and said, "What the fuck is this whale music?" I took this as a promising sign, since his musical inclinations leaned more towards the greatest hits of Night Ranger, R.E.O. Speedwagon, and Roxette. This is known in testing as good construct validity.

As I listened to "Loveless" more and more, I came to know and appreciate each track as discrete and accomodating.....

tempt

my good friend jill from new york city is going to be in town next weekend for my birthday festivities (by "festivities" i mean the drinking of both cranberry juice and vodka....perhaps even together). how fortuitous for me. i almost went into lafayette tonight (whaaaaa?) but decided to save the funds for next week.

sometimes i hate it when movies have a profound effect on me. not to say that i just saw a movie that had a "real" profound effect on me, but perhaps a small degree of profoundness. especially when i'm in a quasi-pleasant mood and am then brought back to normal levels of malaise by said movie. the universe is not well when i am almost cheery. so, fuck you universe (what's the worst that could happen right?).

album du jour: mates of state team boo

just got my brady brock cd in the mail along with a dvd--all the real girls--both of which i will take in and comment on later. getting wonderful shwag in the mail always brightens up my day. plus i think i'm going to try a different walking route, which should be more scenic and not as fraught with little teenage gangsters and traffic. speaking of the ltg's, our neighbor was visited by the lafayette consolidated government dog catcher this morning. their matron figure (mother superior?) was not pleased. very entertaining for me though. i could be watching cops on tv (which i never do) and then just look out my window and get the live version. whoo-ha.

if anybody ever smiles at me again i'm going to freak out

born anew after a really good nap and i have an odd sensation that mosquitos are biting me. it is 10 pm and i am ready to face the day, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and really looking forward to some good quality infomercials. has anyone ever seen the old juice man who has the eyebrows that look like....i guess moustaches, above his eyes. wild, wild stuff.

album du jour: sam roberts We Were Born In a Flame

per aspera ad astra, or something to that effect

think i'm going to copy all my dvd's to vhs and then sell them on e-bay. it's not that i'm hard-up for cash, just hard-up for space (i can fit 2-3 dvd's on one tape). plus i'm trying to be as liquid as possible should the opportunity to move arise. i always get junk mail proclaiming the wonderful world of e-bay money-making opportunities. don't think i have the business savvy to pull something like that off, or the courageousness to be an entrepeneur. plus i'm sure there has to be some initial investment, and i'm saving all the profits from my crank biz to buy crack.

i pawned my guitar two years ago and i'm starting to wish i hadn't. at the time i needed the funds, but in retrospect i shouldn't have. isn't hindsight always annoyingly 20/20. i'm thinking about buying this $300 electronic drum set that looks really cool. i think i have rythm and i'd like to find out for sure. i'll probably never be able to do anything but daydream about being in a band, but it's better than daydreaming about....well...nothing.

considering starting smoking. not sure why.

way too much caffeine this morning and got somewhat nauseous. not to the point of regurgitation (as i rarely throw up anything), but certainly a noteworthy modicum of discomfort. i think i've lost my taste for coffee (gasp). i may stick with my diet coke from now on. i'm not really a fan of drinking hot liquids anyway (tommy tell me you got that on tape!!!!).

does anyone else think that amy sederis is just uh-dorable? i just got the first season of strangers with candy on dvd (and taped it). very raunchy and wonderful stuff.

album du jour: dismemberment plan change

lowlights

what does it say when the highlight of your day is getting back into bed to either take a nap or go to sleep for the night. perhaps on a sunday it doesn't say much, as most of the working world (including some deities i'm told) rest on sunday. even the tv doesn't comfort me on days like this, sporting (pun intended) nothing but football and baseball and golf hoop-la. i would love to watch the televangelists but i can't get up that early. sundays are also slow news days, so i get no assistance in that department either.

so i sleep.

album du jour: saturday looks good to me all your summer songs

a very happy birthday to a friend of mine. no i am not a friend of mine.

digestion and foreboding

god i ate too much and now i feel like some turgid, anna-nicolesque land mass.

i was perusing some vintage clothing on-line earlier and i really wanted to buy something (in addition to really needing to buy something), but i don't know my size (jackets) and also i have a hard enough time picking out something when i can actually try it on. so i yielded to my better judgement (which is still pretty bad) and decided to wait.

weekend weekend weekend...it has no meaning to me anymore. just crappier programming on tv, plus all the goddam sports.

album du jour: garageland do what you want

gerbil

over the years i think i've adopted a buddhist philosophy without ever really knowing what buddhism entailed. i was reading about it and it's startling how much of its ideals i already subscribe to, which is not to say i'm ready to characterize myself as a full-fledged devotee. it has been quite a while since i had any sort of defined belief system in my life though, and i guess i could use some universal reference points (of sorts). plus it would give me something to check off when i'm filling out personal info on various applications/web sites besides other.

it's funny to be able to look at any television personality and think that they like to fuck. because you know everyone does, and you see these pristine television personalities who are always projected into your home as wholesome and upstanding and innocent. but you know that behind every news anchor or sit-com mom or disney channel host lies a sexual pervert. all the world's a stage.

i was trying to come up with a nice segue between buddhism and sexual perversion, but i'm at a loss. i'm sure i could conjure something involving richard gere, but i just don't have the strength.

album du jour: tiger trap tiger trap

performance fleece

why is it that watching an old navy commercial makes me feel like i'm retarded, or tripping on acid or something. very bizarre.

i had zero energy when i woke up this morning. perhaps the weather, perhaps not. i slept plenty last night, but i just had nothing. so i went back to be and slept the rest of the afternoon. i didn't even go walking. today definitely sported a theme of fuggit.

the cat is spending the night outside it seems. that just means i'm going to have to climb a tree or crawl under the house and get scratched up tomorrow. at least it's something to do.

album du jour: brady brock warm american sweater

so arnold is governor. does anyone else not really care?

album du jour: paloalto heroes and villains

mozzletov

would it be considered ultra-chic to not drive a car these days? what if i decided to just take cabs everywhere? i think the cost would really be a washout compared with owning a car. take into account the car note, insurance, the ever-climbing price of gas (vote against bush), maintenance, and miscellaneous court fees due to involuntary and/or voluntary vehicular manslaughter (i need to quit thinking about pedestrians in terms of their point value). if you met someone who could drive but just chose not to, could that be construed as post-modern? is post-modern even a good thing anymore? i could chalk it up to being an eco-freak, which i'm not, but it's not an entirely non-unique (double negative day also falls on yom kipper) philosophy. what's more it makes me sound almost deep, which i think i am although i can somehow never seem to convey. i guess there are various rationales for cabbing that could be passable. in the words of keanu reeves at the 2001 mtv movie awards, "i have so many questions yet so few answers."

album du jour: rainer maria a better version of me

chicken, egg

there are job offers i get, but for various logistical reasons i can't take them. right now if i had a vehicle i could be making mondo moo-lah, but i need mondo moo-lah to get a car. i'm really starting to think that the universe has this master plan of bending me over a cosmic barrel and shoving a big red ball in my mouth. what is a poor boy to do. i'm going to whore myself out; move to detroit and do things for money i never thought i'd have to do.

album du jour: joy division unknown pleasures

nevermind the bollocks

my word tina fey is a catch. she's married though. maya--hot, amy poeler--hot. i can't watch the news because the anchors are too gorgeous, now the trend is infringing on my snl ritual. i love the jb though, always and forever.

i ditched the wedding today, which i don't think made much of a difference. my parents said they had a fender-bender on the way back from baton rouge with an unlicensed crackhead. quite a tale, and quite glad am i that i did not witness it first hand. i'm not around people that often, but i'd rather be alone all day than encounter the dregs, although my ego could stand some edification through relativity now and then.

also, the preview for scary movie 3 was just on. i think i'm dumber than i was a few seconds ago.

album du jour: buzzcocks singles going steady

i watched the movie 24 hour party people today (fantastic) and it reminded me how much i used to love punk. and really the buzzcocks inspired alot of my favorite bands to date (ash, idlewild, et. al. brit rock). ostensibly the sex pistols in fact influenced the buzzcocks, but i prefer the latter.

paradoxical acquiescence

this is to what i refer

i must be a total poseur since i don't like sonic youth (truthfully), the velvet underground or john spencer blues explosion. wouldn't that make me ultra-indie though, since i'm even contradicting the supposed established indie methos? yeah, i'll just keep telling myself that.

i am proud to say, though, that i don't subscribe to rolling stone or spin. anymore....

my cousin is getting married tomorrow in baton rouge, and i must attend. i can't say i'm looking forward to it--i'll have to field several variations of the questions "what are you doing these days?" and/or "whare are you working?" to which i will repeat the carbon-copy answer numerous humiliating times. although i am thinking of conjuring impressive anecdotes as to my profession (i'm an architect). i'll probably just try to find a way to chalk it up to whimsy (i'm livin' large my nigga'..... yeah, at my aunt's. no, no job. car? ummm not yet. girlfriend? no. money? no. reason for living? not really sure...)

album du jour: sense field living outside

i just got this cd and it's really really good. a pleasant surprise on an otherwise painfully regular day.

from Davezilla.com

Rush Limbaugh, the man who put the pig in capitalist pig, was fired from ESPN for making a comment that could be construed as racist. This would not be the first time Rush has shown his true color (hint=ultra white). Since he’s now off the tube, and in trouble for drug abuse, I thought he might want another job to supplement the dimishing audience of his radio show. Here’s my picks:

Super-villain in a Steven Segal film
Model for Big Boy
Weapon of Mass Destruction (drop him over Iraq)
Colombian drug lord’s bodyguard
Elephant trainer
World’s largest laundromat dryer
Filling hot air balloons
Wine press
Sumo wrestler
Test subject for frightening new drugs
Sea World attraction
Thanksgiving Day parade float
Mongolian war monger
Imperial Wizard of the Klan
Buoy
Steamroller
Easter Island head
World War II Revisionist
Body double for the moon

rate of decay

did anyone know that there is a GOP gay group who call themselves the "log cabin republicans"? i don't know if it's a reference to lincoln's questionable sexuality or (possibly and) just a pun.

whenever i put on clothes that i think make me presentable i always feel like a stiff breeze will make me look utterly unkempt. my rate of decay is pretty fast in terms of going from passable to what-the-fuck. i don't know why that is, perhaps just my body structure. is it possible to be narcissistic and self-loathesome at the same time?

i'm thinking of getting rid of my television. i don't know what effect it would have, although i'm hoping it will force me to read more and become more productive and perhaps creative. maybe trying to ditch tv and alcohol in the same week isn't wise for me though. baby steps, baby steps.

album du jour: stereolab emperor tomato ketchup

stereolab to me is either hit or miss

i fucking hate hope. it rides on my back with a stick and a carrot and digs its spurs into my back, which i also hate. and i fucking hate myself for time and time again trying for that goddamned carrot. fucking hope.

and incidentally, fuck psychiatrists. bullshit posturing.

and fuck your yankee blue jeans.

i pulled a muscle in my left foot while walking (feet have muscles?) and somehow i got a splinter under my right foot, even though our floors are either tiled or carpeted. not a good day for feet.

album du jour: francine 28 Plastic Blue Versions of Endings Without You