Thursday, December 25, 2003

holly-jolly

when i was in fourth grade i thought this was about the funniest thing i had ever heard or would ever hear. consequently i still remember it.

t'was the night before christmas
and all through the house
everyone felt shitty
including the mouse

dad at the whorehouse
and mom smoking grass
i just settled down
for a nice piece of ass

when out on the lawn
i saw a big dick
i knew in a minute
it must be saint nick

he flew down the chimney
like a bat out of hell
i knew in a minute
the fat fucker had fell

he filled our stockings
full of pretzels and beer
and a big rubber dick
for my brother the queer

back up the chimney he went
with a thunderous fart
the fat son of a bitch
blew the chimney apart

he spat and he cursed
as he flew out of sight
"piss on you all,
have a helluva night"

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