Friday, May 26, 2006

american idle

ours is a culture of anti-intellectualism. craven lunacy airs on television Almighty and we fawn hypnotically; the finale of "american idol" garnered 40 million viewers. how so many can invest so much time in something so pointless and mind-numbingly simian is beyond me. i understand the schadenfreude appeal of watching simon cowell lambaste freaks who gladly suffer slings/arrows of national ridicule because their vanity is more than sated by being on national television at all.

but if we take so much pleasure in suffering -- especially when it happens far away and forces us to sacrifice nothing -- why not pay more attention to reality (NOT tv reality, reality-reality)? mainstream media is crap, but a more shakespearean tragedy there is not. genocide in darfur, slaughtering innocent iraqis sans reason (not that there could ever be a reason to justify it), treating sects of people as sub-standard, soldiers coming home limbless and insane, sodomizing mother nature, running up a $8 trillion credit card bill (translating into each citizen owing $28,000), and all for no reason at all. this is not enough drama for the ADD-addled american public?

i could give people the benefit of the doubt and say we're addicted to the glittzy distraction because ignorance is bliss and reality is a tad TOO harsh, but i don't think we deserve that much credit. intentional ignorance would mean that cognizance exists on some level of what we're ignoring. we've always been too self-involved to give even that first fiddler's fuck about anything but our own meaningless existences of pop culture and endless consumerism and glitter-picture html codes.

why should we care about darky children being murdered on a darky continent with no darky liquid gold under their feet? we don't even KNOW, much less care, about such things. as long as i get my rent payed on time.

i don't know exactly what i'm complaining about since i don't know what possible solutions would be. behavioral problems on such a grand scale aren't easily remedied without extreme motivation (higher gas prices -- good). for a start i'm ditching my cable.

in "seven" kevin spacey (john doe) said, "Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer."

genocide and war and racism and fascism and murder aren't big enough sledgehammers? how extreme does injustce have to get before we stop ignoring. never underestimate the power of denial i guess.

merry christmas!

Friday, May 19, 2006

fox news aryans

bill o'reilly:

"I don't have any respect by and large for the Iraqi people at all. I have no respect for them. I think that they're a prehistoric group..."

"...we cannot intervene in the Muslim world ever again. What we can do is bomb the living daylights out of them, just like we did in the Balkans. Just as we did in the Balkans. Bomb the living daylights out of them. But no more ground troops, no more hearts and minds, ain't going to work."

bill bennet:

"... if you wanted to reduce crime ... if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down."

ann coulter:

"I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East, and sending liberals to Guantanamo."

tony snow (former fox commentator, current white house press secretary), in his first press conference:

SNOW: Having said that, I don’t want to hug the tar baby of trying to comment on the program, the alleged program, the existence of which I can neither confirm nor deny.

QUESTION: What are your personal goals? What do you hope to achieve here? Will you continue to televise these briefings? And would you put into English the phrase (OFF-MIKE) the tarbaby?

SNOW: Well, I believe hug the tarbaby, we could trace that back to American lore.

john gibson:

"[d]o your duty. Make more babies," because he had found out, from a recently released report, that nearly half of all children under the age of five in the United States are minorities. Gibson added: "You knowwhat that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic." Gibson later repeated: "To putit bluntly, we need more babies."

la de da de da de-dadedade-da

last night i dreamt i was colin meloy of the decemberists and we were playing a club. la de da de da de-dadedade-da.

has anyone heard the new walkmen album? maybe ive been snorting too much of my own product but it really sucks pole. it made me feel dirty inside.

office depot had 100-packs of blank cd's going 2-for-1 so now i have 200 cd-r's that i'll never use. if anyone wants a cd of anything we can trade for sexual favors and/or gratuitous compliments, at my discretion.

why, oh why, did i go out and drink last night? i hate those fucking all-too-prevalent megadeth-wannabe rage death metal bands. work sucks, ten times so when hungover. plus i have to socialize with the family tonight, and the ENTIRE family tomorrow for the reunion. it's going to be a huge crawfish boil, the smell of which is the most heinous thing in the world to me. i would rather have to impregnate starr jones in front of a live studio audience while she eats a bucket of chicken and repeats "yes i am a lawyer" over and over again.

plus i'm not keen on breaking open a crustacean and eating the insides. i'm not big on the "process" side of food.

but anyway, if i can find a hot female cousin twice-removed i may be in business. if we ever got married would everyone have to sit on the same side of the church? chew on that.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

ich bin ayn sun yi

because i love woody allen so much and identify with him in so many ways (i'm a little bit jewish, i'm a little bit rock n' roll...) i am going to name my new kitty: sun yi. also because she's a female i'm living wtih who's about 30 years younger than me. i almost went with "gertrude" in honor of gertrude stein but then remembered i don't particularly like gertrude stein, and was getting her confused with margaret meade (aces baby, ACES).

and on the topic of female writers -- why did i think i liked ayn rand? she was a libertarian egotistical cockblower. i may hug trees but it's better than hugging myself. and doesn't she look like a nazi sympathizer (and mannish)? free market capitalism and fascism aren't that far apart you know, although one is an economic system and the other a political one. but the two are so enmeshed the difference seems negligible.

holy shnikies mel gibson criticized george bush. fuck, if you weren't scared before... his (mel gibson's) new film is called "apocalypto," depicting the fall of the mayan civilizatinon. all these christian jihadists believe in the biblical apocalpyse, the "end of days," and what, i wonder, would they do to see that it comes about? self-fulfilling prophecies? yesssss, it's a good time to fear the god-fearing.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

sisyphetic (my word, trademark)

the experience of losing a pet is, i've found, remarkably similar to getting broken up with. you're forced to function thereafter with this damp, heavy weight about you that makes every task -- mundane or otherwise -- that much harder. or like working in that office from "being john malkovich" (why don't i own that dvd?) where the ceiling is about four feet high and "normal" activity is a strain.

everything is painful. you can act a certain way -- bubbly on the phone with the clients, portraying a veneer of normalcy, but true suffering underlies it all. there is NOTHING worse than having to feign happiness when you are eviscerated emotionally.

this has basically been my past few days. i have the new kitten, which has mitigated the pain somewhat, but simultaneously i still feel the very real void. i've barely eaten this weekend. i had plans to go out on friday and saturday but couldn't. i wasn't in any kind of mindset to partake in events of a celebratory nature.

which really surprises me -- under distressing circumstances the sauce is usually a panacea for me. like everything else it just takes time.

Friday, May 12, 2006

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

(one of the saddest parts about our society is that these arguments, before the humorous common sense, are the real reasons why people can't accept gay marriages.)

uber sadness

my cat died last night. i took care of a living thing for a little over a year. i let him outside yesterday evening, which i shouldn't have done since he was raised indoors and very domesticated. but he'd constantly cry to go out and it made me feel bad NOT to let him. the vet said he probably got hit by a car. he couldn't breathe and was coughing up blood despite no superficial wounds. so my cat is gone.

my landlord owns the zoo of acadiana, and apparently people drop off strays there all the time. last night my downstairs neighbor lisa, who is an all-around exceptional individual (especially putting up with me stomping around all the time), called and mentioned to him that my cat died, and he brought over a black/gray kitten. i think it's a girl.

it feels odd getting another pet so quickly, and i wasn't even sure i wanted another one. but there are too many animals, too many ubers, without homes for me to selfishly indulge my sadness and swear off pets because it hurts too much when they die.

a few posts ago i wrote about life existing at extremes. case-in-point: pets. it's torturous when they die, but i don't wish for a second that i never had him. the joy and companionship they bring on a daily basis is more than worth the void they leave in your life. so yeah, i'll get another cat.

and uber, my little jew, my little security deposit, thanks for making my life better. you'll be missed always my friend.


also, if missing my dead pet makes me gay then bring on the cock.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

mitigate your emotions, for the love of dog

here's what i want to write about at present: the internalization of relative principles of human interaction and expectations said and implied therein.

it's nothing short of miraculous that anyone has friends, romance, tolerables, acquaintences, pen pals, maids, bosses, jobs, cars, or anything requiring human interaction. our laungauge, moreover our means of communicating, seems so inadequate to facilitate a functioning society. it's no wonder terms such as "the reality-based community" are surfacing nowadays.

we nearly need to be empaths, mind-readers, like that hot counselor from star trek tng. our vernacular can't encompass the entire array of human sentiments, but worse than that is that most people have no clue whatsoever how to even offer up a ballpark amalgom. i.e. it's rare that we get a very accurate impression of what someone is thinking and/or feeling based on verbal communication.

i don't have the best command of the english language, admittedly, but some intangibles are difficult to express and share through words only. we need e.s.p. i love the concept of empathy, when you think of an "empath" you (or at least i) envision someone who can read minds. empathy, by contrast, is essentially taking your own brain -- perceptions, opinions, all of it -- and putting it in someone else's circumstances and life in an effot to understand contextual stimuli behind behavior you may not understand. it's a poor substitute for actual mind-reading, but i guess it's the best we got (those of us unfortunate enough not to be john edward).

communication barriers are the bane of my existence, and i have the feeling the same holds true for the vast hoi polloi, whether they're cognizant of it or not.

and what's worse, above all, is that most people don't even try to communicate overtly and effectively. we're more comfortable with innuendo and second-guessing and dropping subtle hints and interpretation of things that should, by all means, be blatant. no wonder so much violence and divorce and war and drama exists in the world.

shout from the rooftops whatever the fuck is on your mind, whatever your intentions are. be brutally honest. it saves time and pain. fuck the prim and proper ethos of "i shouldn't have to say this for you to understand it" or "it's not you it's me."

lastly i'll offer up a personal safeguard: be stringent with hope. it will bite you in the scrotum if you let it get out of hand. you need to put sort of a maximum on optimism, like a dog with a remote collar that shocks it when it ventures outside a designated perimeter. i realize it sounds very glass-half-empty, but it has some relevant real-life applications and benefits. call it cynical, i call it pre-emptive.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

go north, young man (a.k.a. imitation of life)

new yawk! soon you will have my man-stink all over you. i'm apprehensive that it'll be drug that i'll actually get addicted to, having had to suffer in south louisiana and it's frankly LAME music scene the better part of my life. by "better" i mean "majority." my existence here for the most part has been a metaphoric beat-down with a box of tide.

which sounds odd coming off of a festival weekend in which i thoroughly enjoyed myself.

but the whole acadiana cajun culture ethos and it's supposed "joi de vivre" has never worked for me (and i'm not convinced that the portrayed local hospitality isn't just a marketing scam to boost tourism).

i loathe zydeco more than lupus, which i've never had, but would RATHER have than suffer through zydeco. hospitality associated with cajuns is crap. based on my experiences with south louisiana locals i find them to be, largely, retarded and ignorant.

not necessarily is it just a matter of heritage. i've written posts-a-plenty involving nature v. nurture issues (sounds like a supreme court case) and that blaming flaws in your character/behavior on chemical imbalances and mommy not loving you / daddy being a racist only excuse you to a point.

my mother's maiden name was desormeaux. i've spent the vast majority of my existence here (michael stipe and co. would call it an "imitation of life"). i have no accent, i'm not an ignorant redneck racist (unless my self-evaluative acumen is way off), i've never been mud-ridin', i don't hunt/fish (admittedly not exclusive to louisiana), and i think the smell of a crawfish boil is the most heinous experience a person could go through. again, i'd rather have lupus.

the attitudes and shortcomings aren't rampant in necessarily everyone in the area. there are no blanket rules. but there are VERY prominent trends.

point being: i don't belong. at the moment my dilemma with relocating is simply logistical. i say "simply" when it couldn't be more of a complicated and seemingly impossible pain in the posterior.

i have a handful of decent friends here whom i'd miss. but i'd hate to look back on my life down the road and harbor nothing but lament that i did a mellencamp-style born/lived/died in a small town thing.

or maybe i'd be just as miserable anywhere. happiness is supposed to come from within. mine could use some help climbing out though and maybe a change of scenery would do just that.

currently listening to:
rock kills kid
are you nervous (2006)