Monday, May 30, 2005


i'm installing some security software on four brand new dell optiplexes for a client and i feel like i'm de-flowering virgins, since they've never been turned on. it's a miserable and moist memorial monday morning and i have to work, so if i want to derive sexual gratification from my mundane, menial tasks then i'm fuck-well going to.

this post sponsored by the letter M, if you hadn't noticed.

speaking of memorial day, i watched the movie national treasure last night. it's entertaining, which i guess is all that matters, but the fervor for american history expressed by the nicolas cage protagonist made me sad, to think of how far we've strayed from the original ideals put forth by the founding geniuses.

it's a mood of disappointment i'm in.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

pcp music survey

murph passed this survey to me. damn you murph. i'm augmenting some of the topics to make it more interesting.

total size of music files on my computer: 63.9g, 16,269 files

the last cd i bought was: sleater-kinney the woods

song playing right now: kaiser chiefs "i predict a riot"

five (newer) songs i listen to a lot:

  1. beck "qué onda guero"
  2. ...and you will know us by the trail of dead "worlds apart"
  3. lcd soundsystem "tribulations"
  4. queens of the stone age "medication"
  5. fiery furnaces "single again"

...or five songs that mean a lot to me (this is a stupid question):

  1. joy division "she's lost control"
  2. pretty girls make graves "all medicated geniuses"
  3. the beta band "liquid bird"
  4. my vitriol "losing touch"
  5. ride "dreams burn down"

favorite track #1's - i want to express my disdain at bullshit posturing intro tracks on albums that are useless. i'm a 100% proponent of putting your best foot forward, and hazy background lo-fi bull hockey puts a bad taste in my mouth from minute one.

i could also list the albums, but wouldn't it be more fun guessing them yourself or looking them up? you'll be more prone to remembering them if so. no order (and noticeably no new order):

  1. fat truckers "teenage daughter"
  2. the pixies "debaser"
  3. jolie holland "sascha"
  4. my bloody valentine "only shallow"
  5. smashing pumpkinss "i am one" ("cherub rock" also)
  6. super furry animals "hello sunshine"
  7. coldplay "don't panic"
  8. the buzzcocks "orgasm addict"
  9. built to spill "strange"
  10. sleater-kinney "the ballad of ladyman"
  11. air "playground love"
  12. the cranes "shining road"
  13. catherine wheel "god inside my head"
  14. jesus and mary chain "reverence"
  15. medicine "the pink"
  16. neutral milk hotel "king of carrot flowers"

who am i passing this on to? noone - if you want to do it, then by all means.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

lately i've felt like the days are chewing on me. i haven't had a fiddler's fart worth of interest in anything, hence the reduction in writing and reading. i guess i'm on sabbatical, maybe for a week, maybe for a day.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

everybody's workin' for the something

my apologies for submitting some languid posts lately. it's been a rough week at work, meaning i actually had to do things. we're short-handed and have been for some time.

for the second week in a row i'm up on an early saturday morning. i have a serious xanax hangover so i walked to my local cracker barrel for coffee. i haven't had coffee in months - i miss it so. and i'm not one to generally laud the cajun culture as a result of the collective ignorance and bigotry, but communitee coffee is definitely above average. but my standards are low right now.

my mother is visiting this weekend, staying with my aunt. i could only imagine what would happen if she decided to stay with me -- i have to pull a personality 180 around my parents. and at work sometimes, which does not bode will with me at all.

but i've had a good week all-around. arrested development has been renewed for another two seasons, i got sex, a new tv and bed, had lebanese food last night, and today i plan on laying out on my deck, take a nap, and hit the town with sweet lady hooch. what could be better.

and my sincere apologies for being negilgent in reading blogs lately. it's not intentional, molested-scout's honor.


Thursday, May 19, 2005

shut up kids!

sort of a follow-up on the tiny dick theory... to be more forest-from-the-trees about these people's motivatioin, it's just anger. for some reason or other they are mad or disgruntled. they have an axe to grind, stemming from some disappointment or inadequacy in their own lives (past or present), and their personality begins reflecting that inner (or outer) anger, spraying it everywhere like a shotgun.

they love war, they love militarism and combat and conflict and friction. it gives them an identity and feeds their lust for some perceived retribution. and for them war is a video game - they are not impacted in the least by other people's family and friends dying. they call them heroes and put little yellow magnetic ribbons on their car, proclaiming patriotism. then they lambaste liberals for being anti-american because we question the legitimacy of the rationale (or in this case, lack thereof) that supposedly warrants these sacrifices.

it explains how people can believe such obviously false information. it's the same reason that battered wives stay with abusive husbands. never underestimate the power of wanting so badly to cling to a defunct ideal and avoid admitting mistakes. it's the reason george w. bush and the neo-con agenda are so seemingly teflon.

notice in any debate or call-in show how quickly irate right-wing advocates become. their voices raise, they use words like "idiot" and "stupid" in a coarse manner. this is not to say that liberals don't do it as well, but i listen to alot of call-in shows and read copius letters-to-the-editor and blogs and all else politico, and it's very noticeable that republican supporters predominate and incite the shouting match nine times out of ten.

bill o'reilly frequently tells his guests to "shut up" - always a great comeback. remember the keynote address zell miller (officially a democrat, but whatever) delivered at the republican convention? and schwarzenegger calling democrats "economic girly-men"? maybe i'm remembering selectively, but i don't recall alot of slander and name-calling at the democratic convention.

incidentally, how does increasing the volume of your voice strengthen your argument?

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

the tiny swinging dicks

it's a star wars kind of week. i feel star-warsy. yeah, the movie... lots of hype and attention and interest, whatever. i'm not a big sci-fi enthusiast in general, but the original trilogy was good and meaningful and timeless. the new ones suck taint, although i haven't seen the latest.

but the REAL star wars are what's interesting. the air force wants guns in the sky. will george approve? is that a serious question? of course not. pure rhetoric.

ressurecting ronald regan's notions of weapons in space seems logical. we need a new arms race, and i'm sure china or russia or any other country wouldn't oppose american dominance of outer space. really though it's just about global domination. sex-ay.

from the new york times article:

Another Air Force space program, nicknamed Rods From God, aims to hurl cylinders of tungsten, titanium or uranium from the edge of space to destroy targets on the ground, striking at speeds of about 7,200 miles an hour with the force of a small nuclear weapon.

doesn't that just give you a big stiff one? RODS FROM GOD... are you kidding? i'm at a loss, i don't know what to say.

maybe the world would be a more peaceful place if so many people in power didn't have to constantly compensate for tiny dicks and latent homosexuality by building bigger guns and bombing stuff.

phizz, you need to learn to stop worrying and love the bomb. protect your precious bodily fluids!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

i've been raptured!

oh the depravity!

from the ranks of the ultra-conservatives, more evidence that newfound devoutness indicates depravity, and homophobia equals homosexual.

this is probably a story you've heard about already, but i'd feel like i jammed my finger up my ass thereby leaving it off the pulse if i didn't get these quotes on record. neil horsley is a born-again christian, advocates the killing of abortion doctors, despises homosexuality, is a secessionist, and basically an all-around right-wing extremist dickhole.

such a treat it is that he went on the alan colmes show and confessed to some sins that perhaps were in his best interest to keep clandestine:

AC: You had sex with animals?
NH: Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.
AC: I’m not so sure that that is so.
NH: You didn’t grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?
AC: Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?
NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality… Welcome to domestic life on the farm…
personally i would have opted for a sheep or something smaller that wouldn't have the inclination to buck up and kick me 10 feet away, but that's just me.

AC: Have you ever had sex with a washing machine?
NH: Um, well, haven't ever really thought about it, but
the fact of matter is it shakes and there have been times when in reality that would be an option.
maybe on top of the washing machine, but actually WITH it? how would that even work? maybe georgia farmers could enlighten me.

AC: Let’s get it on the record Neil. Before you found Jesus, you had sex with a man, right?
NH: Certainly. I’ve had sex with anything that would move. If we had a warm watermelon lying in the field I might give it a name.

would he name it maytag?

wow, a homophobic who had sex with a man. maybe he's in line for a position at the white house (huh-huh, position). he could pretend to be a journalist and ask scott mcclellan why the president's agenda seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train (pun intended).

and there's also the story of dr. david hager, who sits on the advisory committee for reproductive health drugs at the fda. it seems dr. hager is fond of prodding his wife's out hole. normally i would commend someone for traveling the road not taken (with apologies to robert frost), but apparently the former mrs. hager was not a fan of playing catcher.

in fact, so averse to the sodomy and even slobbing the nobbing was she that she charged him $2 grand a pop. can it get any more awesomerestness?

couple this with the fact that the good doctor invokes the bible in speeches, once saying "i want to share with you some information about how...god has called me to stand in the gap, not only for others, but regarding ethical and moral issues in our country."

the guy is an ob/gyn, so maybe he was just sick of looking at vaginas all day and decided to go another route with his (now ex-) wife.

everything you want to know about this scandal is in this article from the nation.

Monday, May 16, 2005

scratching post (get it?)

after being scratched up more than a lottery ticket in a trailer park by mister kitty i finally trimmed his nails this weekend. and now he's not so brazen, although still bites like i have the antedote inside me. this i did saturday morning, in addition to moving furniture around (in anticipation of getting a new 36" tv and a new bed), cleaned, then promptly crashed for the afternoon.

sunday was almost productive as well - i worked out, finally listened to the long litany of new albums i've been meaning to get to - see sidebar (explication later in the week, maybe), did laundry, and cleaned off my desk. i even organized the mess of plugs and cables behind my computer - binding the slack and such. i thought this was pertinent being that i now have a pet, clipped nails or not.

so a very exciting weekend. and no substance abuse of any kind - except xanax and alcohol and pot and air freshener.

this is perhaps hypocritical of me, being that i dissed quizzes less than a week ago, but i like this one:

You scored as Postmodernist.

Postmodernism is the belief in complete open interpretation. You see the universe as a collection of information with varying ways of putting it together. There is no absolute truth for you; even the most hardened facts are open to interpretation. Meaning relies on context and even the language you use to describe things should be subject to analysis.





Cultural Creative












What is Your World View? (corrected...hopefully)
created with

stolen from habitatgirl.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

say it ain't so, dave

dave chappelle in a mental institution? i read that he actually just lew to south africa to be with friends, more or less to collect his thoughts. i'm not a huge fan of chappelle's show (it has its moments), but i love, nay, am IN LOVE with his one-hour hbo stand-up special of 2000, easily tantamount to the specials by chris rock.

come back dave.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

what the fuck am i doing up this early on a saturday

people are terrified of terrorism. especially americans. 2,749 people died from terror attacks on... i forget when. here are some interesting statistics. think about our current national obsession with terrorism as you read. from the nchs, a division of the cdc (so not partisan), your chances of dying by:
  • terrorist attack: 1 in 88,000
  • lightning strike: 1 in 55,928
  • your clothes igniting: 1 in 20,605
  • dying in your bathtub: 1 in 10,455
  • falling from a ladder or scaffolding: 1 in 10,010
  • excessive heat: 1 in 9,396
  • excessive cold: 1 in 8,389
  • drowning accident: 1 in 7,972
  • railway accident. 1 in 6,842
  • assault by hanging or strangulation: 1 in 5,330
  • assault from a firearm: 1 in 299
  • dying in a homicide: 1 in 197
but regardless of the scarcity of terrorist-related deaths in america, our ever-opportunistic government restricted our freedoms, waged an unrelated war (iraq), won re-election, and believed it had a blank check to do what they wished as long as it was done in the name of security while using terror, or just fear, as a smokescreen. it allows the republican administration to purvey class warfare; to distract people's attention from their real agenda.

because terrorism is sexy. it totally flies. people love it.

numbers are skewed to make it seem like their policies are beneficial to the american majority, while the opposite could not be truer. the "clean skies initiative" relaxes pollution regulations. "no child left behind" screws children. the "healthy forests initiative" flattens trees. and "freeing the iraqi people" causes them to die. maybe the president really meant that we'd "free" them from the mortal coil.

they allowed united airlines to default on billions in pensions owed to employees, but passed legislation significantly restricting the average citizen's right to declare bankrupcy.

they're trying to conjure an illusory social security crisis to scare middle- to lower-class citizens into allowing their benefits to be reduced and s.s. paycheck deductions to be increased (calling it "progressive price indexing"). he redefined the lower class as only those making less than $20,000.

he is a liar. his lies cause people to die. me no likey.

Friday, May 13, 2005

you must be pre-med dick

dick cheaney is coming to lafayette today. i'd love to get arrested for protesting but they won't let anyone who hasn't payed at least a grand get anywhere near him. in all honesty, i would LOVE to be arrested for shouting at the veep creep.

the gilmore girls season finale is already next week? i am chagrined. i'm also somewhat irked at rory lately - always acting like an itty-bitty wittle girl, so naive and bright-eyed and optimistic about the world. where's the cynicism of a true scholar? where's the weight-gain of someone who eats nothing but pastries (lorelai, you too) and burgers and frieds? where's the alcohol abuse?

it's a great show, i love it still, but never say that it doesn't conform to the illusory nature of all television.

Thursday, May 12, 2005


whenever lacking in blog topic inspiration i turn to the top 5 list. i could just post the results of some painfully interesting quiz i took, perhaps entitled "are you a 'dharma' or a 'greg'?" or "which homosexual girl-loving box-chewing lesbian* from 'the l word' are you?" except that i hate them and have read more than enough results from others and taken more than enough myself (blog quizzes are so passe).

but the top 5, ahhh the top 5... mine today is "top 5 ways in which i would kill myself if i were suicidal and brave and/or drunk":
  1. pill overdose - probably xanax. i imagine that you would just go to sleep, although someone told me that it actually hurts. to be ironic i could overdose on some weight-loss drug, if that's possible. and more than likely i'd still be a potential organ donor, although at this point i doubt anyone would benefit from any of my organs.
  2. in the garage with the car running - again, i like the idea of just drifting off painlessly, and again, i don't know if pain is involved or not. and how do people know if it hurts? from those who try to kill themselves and fail? incidentally, that's pretty pathetic. is suicide that difficult?
  3. slit the wrists - i know, cliched, messy, and somewhat overdramatic. but it's really romantic (not "one tree hill" romantic, romanticism romantic).
  4. light myself on fire - i'd never be able to work up the courage to actually do this. lots and lots of morphine would be sine qua non, and i'd probably have to be completely drunk (i'd burn faster, and i like to drink). but what a great statement to go out on - right in front of the white house. plus i'd save my family cremation fees; they'd just have to get a broom.
  5. alcohol poisoning - this would have to be an assisted suicide, since i'd more than likely pass out before i could drink enough. that's what usually happens, anyway.
i'm not suicidal nor have i ever been. i have more of a masochistic tendency than full-on suicide. killing yourself is just shellfish really. up with hope down with dope.

*to be clear, i love lesbians. not at all in a sexual context - in past experience i just get along fantastically with them. take away the possibility of sex in a relationship and charisma oozes out of my eyeballs, apparently.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

working sucks

when you actually have to do work while there. i don't even have time to play the feud!

fa ra ra ra ra

system of a down was the musical guest of this past weekend's saturday night live. i've never liked their music; i'm not into rage-rock or anything akin. but i have to give them mondo credit (my version of "mad props") for dishing out truly interesting songs. and the fusion of metal and a yankovic coiffure - fascinating. i can't get the baseline/chorus out of my head ("la la la la la la la la la").

i am sipping a 40 (actually a 20) of diet coke with splenda. it's good, albeit no diet cherry vanilla (i always say "vanilla" like a chinese person in my head - "vanirra". thanks, a christmas story) dr. pepper.

Monday, May 09, 2005

go-go's music all day

ooooooh mr. phizz has three vacation days he needs to use before june 14 - the anniversary of my employment at job number current. i can't really afford to travel right now (trying to save for the big move hopefully forthcoming in early 2006) so i'm thinking of either taking them all at once, or lining up three consecutive three-day weekends. good decisions to have to make. i also have three sick days left - however i think those roll over, so meh.

suggestions about how to take them? and not up the ass, please. sinners.

i solved the entire crossword puzzle today without cheating. i am a golden god.

Friday, May 06, 2005

truth seen too late

the texas state legislature passed a LAW regulating the sexuality that's allowed to be displayed by cheerleaders at high school sporting events (habitatgirl posted on this). thought police prevented a middle school band in michigan from playing "louie louie" in a parade because the song is too "raunchy". christian extremists protest the discovery of a vaccine that prevents sexually-transmitted genital warts (that's hot) because it supposedly suggests to teens that sex is okay.


i was going to say that america is quickly becoming the town from footloose (poignantly made in 1984), but i think that's foolishly optimistic at this point.

why does our government waste time on these things? steroid use in baseball? aren't there more important matters at the momen?

who's to blame... of course the guys at the top. but they're not the ones i really have a beef with - all administrations have their egotistical goals, hidden agendas, cronyism, and corruption. some are worse than others (as i think this one clearly is especially nefarious), but none are completely innocent.

the problem lies in our media. our corporate-run, pandering, gutless, ratings-driven media. it has completely lost its direction, no longer being the supposed fourth check-and-balance on our nation's government. this is partially the administration's fault, shunning those who dare to ask unflattering and difficult questions (helen thomas) and hiring fake journalists (and male prostitutes) to lob up softballs that make them look good (jeff gannon).

the american media's reticence in reporting truthful, damning, and undeniably relevant news about our government is... i guess unworthy of any adjective because it's that bad. i can't think of a word. this is why:

the major headlines in the u.k. are all about a memo that has surfaced exposing the fact that the u.s. and u.k. decided to invade iraq long before having any legal rationale. there's an article about this on the guerilla news network site, plus any london news source. i'm going to paste the actual memo because it's so incriminating and shcoking. PLEASE read it and pass it on to as many people as you can, because otherwise noone will ever know about this thanks to our own media:



From: Matthew Rycroft
Date: 23 July 2002
S 195 /02cc: Defence Secretary, Foreign Secretary, Attorney-General, Sir Richard Wilson, John Scarlett, Francis Richards, CDS, C, Jonathan Powell, Sally Morgan, Alastair Campbell


Copy addressees and you met the Prime Minister on 23 July to discuss Iraq.

This record is extremely sensitive. No further copies should be made. It should be shown only to those with a genuine need to know its contents.

John Scarlett summarised the intelligence and latest JIC assessment.

Saddam's regime was tough and based on extreme fear. The only way to overthrow it was likely to be by massive military action. Saddam was worried and expected an attack, probably by air and land, but he was not convinced that it would be immediate or overwhelming. His regime expected their neighbours to line up with the US. Saddam knew that regular army morale was poor. Real support for Saddam among the public was probably narrowly based.

C reported on his recent talks in Washington. There was a perceptible shift in attitude. Military action was now seen as inevitable. Bush wanted to remove Saddam, through military action, justified by the conjunction of terrorism and WMD. But the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy. The NSC had no patience with the UN route, and no enthusiasm for publishing material on the Iraqi regime's record. There was little discussion in Washington of the aftermath after military

CDS said that military planners would brief CENTCOM on 1-2 August, Rumsfeld on 3 August and Bush on 4 August.

The two broad US options were:

(a) Generated Start. A slow build-up of 250,000 US troops, a short (72 hour) air campaign, then a move up to Baghdad from the south. Lead time of 90 days (30 days preparation plus 60 days deployment to Kuwait).

(b) Running Start. Use forces already in theatre (3 x 6,000), continuous air campaign, initiated by an Iraqi casus belli. Total lead time of 60 days with the air campaign beginning even earlier. A hazardous option.

The US saw the UK (and Kuwait) as essential, with basing in Diego Garcia and Cyprus critical for either option. Turkey and other Gulf states were also important, but less vital. The three main options for UK involvement were:

(i) Basing in Diego Garcia and Cyprus, plus three SF squadrons.

(ii) As above, with maritime and air assets in addition.

(iii) As above, plus a land contribution of up to 40,000, perhaps with a discrete role in Northern Iraq entering from Turkey, tying down two Iraqi divisions.

The Defence Secretary said that the US had already begun "spikes of activity" to put pressure on the regime. No decisions had been taken, but he thought the most likely timing in US minds for military action to begin was January, with the timeline beginning 30 days before the US Congressional elections.

The Foreign Secretary said he would discuss this with Colin Powell this week. It seemed clear that Bush had made up his mind to take military action, even if the timing was not yet decided. But the case was thin. Saddam was not threatening his neighbours, and his WMD capability was less than that of Libya, North Korea or Iran. We should work up a plan for an ultimatum to Saddam to allow back in the UN weapons inspectors. This would also help with the legal justification for the use of force.

The Attorney-General said that the desire for regime change was not a legal base for military action. There were three possible legal bases: self-defence, humanitarian intervention, or UNSC authorisation. The first and second could not be the base in this case. Relying on UNSCR 1205 of three years ago would be difficult. The situation might of course change.

The Prime Minister said that it would make a big difference politically and legally if Saddam refused to allow in the UN inspectors. Regime change and WMD were linked in the sense that it was the regime that was producing the WMD.

There were different strategies for dealing with Libya and Iran. If the political context were right, people would support regime change. The two key issues were whether the military plan worked and whether we had the political strategy to give the military plan the space to work.

On the first, CDS said that we did not know yet if the US battleplan was workable. The military were continuing to ask lots of questions.

For instance, what were the consequences, if Saddam used WMD on day one, or of Baghdad did not collapse and urban warfighting began? You said that Saddam could also use his WMD on Kuwait. Or on Israel, added the Defence Secretary.

The Foreign Secretary thought the US would not go ahead with a military plan unless convinced that it was a winning strategy. On this, US and UK interests converged. But on the political strategy, there could be US/UK differences. Despite US resistance, we should explore discreetly the ultimatum. Saddam would continue to play hard-ball with the UN.

John Scarlett assessed that Saddam would allow the inspectors back in only when he thought the threat of military action was real.

The Defence Secretary said that if the Prime Minister wanted UK military involvement, he would need to decide this early. He cautioned that many in the US did not think it worth going down the ultimatum route. It would be important for the Prime Minister to set out the political context to Bush.


(a) We should work on the assumption that the UK would take part in any military action. But we needed a fuller picture of US planning before we could take any firm decisions. CDS should tell the US military that we were considering a range of options.

(b) The Prime Minister would revert on the question of whether funds could be spent in preparation for this operation.

(c) CDS would send the Prime Minister full details of the proposed military campaign and possible UK contributions by the end of the week.

(d) The Foreign Secretary would send the Prime Minister the background on the UN inspectors, and discreetly work up the ultimatum to Saddam.He would also send the Prime Minister advice on the positions of countries in the region especially Turkey, and of the key EU member states.

(e) John Scarlett would send the Prime Minister a full intelligence update.

(f) We must not ignore the legal issues: the Attorney-General would consider legal advice with FCO/MOD legal advisers.(I have written separately to commission this follow-up work.)


(Rycroft was a Downing Street foreign policy aide)

the philosopher thomas hobbes wrote "hell is truth seen too late". well, welcome.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

argh, and "oh sweet jesus"

months and years are short, the days and weeks long. it seems every day is the same day; it's always thursday or sunday or tuesday. they meld into each other seemlessly, and i have to constantly remind myself of what day it is. or sometimes what month it is. how have we gotten into may of 2005 already? fuck.

i tried to buy yogurt at wal-mart a few days ago. i was looking for a sugar-free version, but do you have any idea how many kinds of yogurt there are? i was completely overwhelmed. i started to peruse the varieties - brands, textures, flavors, light versus low-fat, fat-free versus reduced calorie... on and on and on. maybe one-third of the way through i started crying and curled up into a ball right there on the dairy section floor.

how is an emotionally unstable person supposed to sift through all that? i can't contend with so many options; i have a difficult enough time with your standard soup-or-salad dilemmas, much less this multiple-choice onslaught.

i have the same problem with over-the-ocunter sleep aids, lean cuisines, gum (with flavors that don't tell you anything about what it actually tastes like), hot pockets, clothes, items at the checkout counter (with the added pressure of having to decide before you have to pay), going out or staying in, eating or sleeping, cleaning the apartment or sleeping, sex or sleeping, being generally productive or sleeping, and sleeping more or getting up. i'm much too fragile for all this spice-of-life crap, and overall it's way too much pressure man.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

you are a good movie

i just had an odd craving for a roasted marshmallow. or maybe i just want to burn something.

i've been meaning to write about this since i saw the film, but have just been inexplicably reticent. call it reflection time, or more accurately laziness. anyway.

the thrust of the documentary DIG! is this: anton newcombe, of the brian jonestown massacre, is a troubled genious. but i don't think he is. i think he's insane.

anton is a dilettante who plays every instrument known to man, and evidently thinks he is god's gift to every one. he spews vitriol to and humiliates his bandmates while onstage, picks fights with the crowd, and is staunchly beligerent towards any representative from the recording industry, and other artists who sign deals with them.

i'll concede that the music anton writes is good; it's not completely my taste, but i recognize quality efforts and give them their due (appreciation and adulation aren't mutually dependent).

but i don't think it warrants the deification of its creator, by any means. during the documentary, if i remember correctly, he was compared to lou reed and bob dylan, and/or maybe john lennon.

succinctly, methinks not. history may look back on the brian jonestown massacre as an underappreciated group (which i think is true), but this is in large part due to newcombre's childish rebellion against the music business and any and all things that would allow a greater audience exposure to their art.

but to bitch about his band's otiose status in the music world and lack of exposure at the same time you shun the method by which you have the best chance of getting said exposure is just jackassinine*.

plus music snobs really stick in my craw. snobs of any kind really. also he wears tunics like he's some reject from the polyphonic spree, who i also abhor.

aside from my qualms with the detestable attitude of anton newcombre and all the self-destruction, the film itself is stellar. take into account that the dandy warhols are one of my favorite bands, but i think my film connoisseur friend murph will agree that it's a great documentary, especially for the music lover.

incidentally, i also loved the metallica documentary (metallica: some kind of monster) that came out not long ago, despite my total dislike (politely put) of their music and ire at their anti-file-sharing money-money-more-money statements.

anycrap, rent or buy DIG!

*phizz trademark

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

you are a bad movie

doesn't it feel good to have family guy back? it almost SOMEWHAT allays my grief over the cancellation of arrested development, and perhaps provides hope that one day the douches at the fox network will decide to bring it back as well.

over the weekend i rented i heart huckabees, with dustin hoffman, lily tomlin, jason schwartzman, mark wahlberg, jude law*, naomi watts, and others that i didn't recognize. the concept of the movie is stellar: schwartzman hires two existential detectives (hoffman and tomlin) to provide some insight into three chance run-ins he had with a tall 18-year old african, and whether it has some deeper meaning or is pure coincidence.

and somewhere in there other characters emerge and seek out answers to their own what's-it-all-mean questions. it's very personally relatable.

but it's also very generalized and specious. never during the movie do any of the revelations or respective catharses follow a logical or detailed rationale; i.e. i have no idea what the characters' ultimate conclusions were or how they reached them, just that they did, in fact, reach them.

there was alot of potential in the movie for some really innovative storylines and great concepts, but it just seemed like random existential ideas peppered with (some) funny idiosyncrasies.

maybe this is because of my own imperceptiveness, but for me it was just a huge disappointment. great idea (i love camus), just lazy execution.

*is anyone else completely sick of jude law? also sick of: nicole kidman, orlando bloom, julia roberts, sean penn, johnny depp, jello ( jennifer lopez), et many al. i guess they all have to strike while the iron's hot.

Monday, May 02, 2005

he is uber

this weekend's weather has been what i would call immaculate. it is ideal weather for all things outdoorsy. and, in true phizz fashion, i have spent it indoors with blinds drawn. never let it be said that i'm not committed to hermitude.

i've decided to name my cat "uber". already he enjoys staying in bed all day and watching tv, taking after his master. i'm serious about this, he is infatuated with the tv screen. he's also an attention whore, crying when i go to the bathroom for a minute or when he's locked in the bathroom when i'm trying to sleep.

i haven't been able to teach him any evil tricks yet, but i'm working more on his functional abillities right now - balance, for instance. and shutting the hell up. he does know to make in the litter box.

i am officially an annoying cat person, well on my way to being a crazy cat lady with pets numbered in double-digits, each having a first, middle, and last name. and a prefix.