when i got out of the shower earlier i was looking at myself in the condensation-laden mirror. i was out of focus, blurry, and muttled. i liked the way i looked. then i wiped the moisture away and suddenly my faults were spelled out in more disappointing detail. i think that i, phillip, work well as a general idea. my life is good, but you have to put the qualifier "in theory" behind every adjective about it. i am artistic "in theory", i exercise alot "in theory", i'm a cool person "in theory." so forth and so on.
when my second persona comes into effect, sometime next week, i want to be all those things i'd like to think about myself only for real. i don't want to just have good intentions and ideas. i want to be the manifestation of those intentions. i've always suffered from laziness and/or procrastination and/or stupid choices. my other personality will do none of those things. my new personality will have no regrets. my new personality will seize every opportunity.
presently i am a good general idea. i work in theory. i want to work in detail though. to not just say things about myself, but to be those things. that, i think, will be the overall jist of my other persona.
album du jour: joy division unknown pleasures
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