Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Keith Olbermann, je t'aime

You can watch Keith read this commentary at the Countdown page, which is actually more stirring than just reading it. But I had to post his words.

Feeling morally, intellectually confused?

The man who sees absolutes, where all other men see nuances and shades of meaning, is either a prophet, or a quack.

Donald H. Rumsfeld is not a prophet.

Mr. Rumsfeld’s remarkable speech to the American Legion yesterday demands the deep analysis—and the sober contemplation—of every American.

For it did not merely serve to impugn the morality or intelligence -- indeed, the loyalty -- of the majority of Americans who oppose the transient occupants of the highest offices in the land. Worse, still, it credits those same transient occupants -- our employees -- with a total omniscience; a total omniscience which neither common sense, nor this administration’s track record at home or abroad, suggests they deserve.

Dissent and disagreement with government is the life’s blood of human freedom; and not merely because it is the first roadblock against the kind of tyranny the men Mr. Rumsfeld likes to think of as “his” troops still fight, this very evening, in Iraq.

It is also essential. Because just every once in awhile it is right and the power to which it speaks, is wrong.

In a small irony, however, Mr. Rumsfeld’s speechwriter was adroit in invoking the memory of the appeasement of the Nazis. For in their time, there was another government faced with true peril—with a growing evil—powerful and remorseless.

That government, like Mr. Rumsfeld’s, had a monopoly on all the facts. It, too, had the “secret information.” It alone had the true picture of the threat. It too dismissed and insulted its critics in terms like Mr. Rumsfeld’s -- questioning their intellect and their morality.

That government was England’s, in the 1930’s.

It knew Hitler posed no true threat to Europe, let alone England.

It knew Germany was not re-arming, in violation of all treaties and accords.

It knew that the hard evidence it received, which contradicted its own policies, its own conclusions — its own omniscience -- needed to be dismissed.

The English government of Neville Chamberlain already knew the truth.

Most relevant of all — it “knew” that its staunchest critics needed to be marginalized and isolated. In fact, it portrayed the foremost of them as a blood-thirsty war-monger who was, if not truly senile, at best morally or intellectually confused.

That critic’s name was Winston Churchill.

Sadly, we have no Winston Churchills evident among us this evening. We have only Donald Rumsfelds, demonizing disagreement, the way Neville Chamberlain demonized Winston Churchill.

History — and 163 million pounds of Luftwaffe bombs over England — have taught us that all Mr. Chamberlain had was his certainty — and his own confusion. A confusion that suggested that the office can not only make the man, but that the office can also make the facts.

Thus, did Mr. Rumsfeld make an apt historical analogy.

Excepting the fact, that he has the battery plugged in backwards.

His government, absolute -- and exclusive -- in its knowledge, is not the modern version of the one which stood up to the Nazis.

It is the modern version of the government of Neville Chamberlain.

But back to today’s Omniscient ones.

That, about which Mr. Rumsfeld is confused is simply this: This is a Democracy. Still. Sometimes just barely.

And, as such, all voices count -- not just his.

Had he or his president perhaps proven any of their prior claims of omniscience — about Osama Bin Laden’s plans five years ago, about Saddam Hussein’s weapons four years ago, about Hurricane Katrina’s impact one year ago — we all might be able to swallow hard, and accept their “omniscience” as a bearable, even useful recipe, of fact, plus ego.

But, to date, this government has proved little besides its own arrogance, and its own hubris.

Mr. Rumsfeld is also personally confused, morally or intellectually, about his own standing in this matter. From Iraq to Katrina, to the entire “Fog of Fear” which continues to envelop this nation, he, Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, and their cronies have — inadvertently or intentionally — profited and benefited, both personally, and politically.

And yet he can stand up, in public, and question the morality and the intellect of those of us who dare ask just for the receipt for the Emporer’s New Clothes?

In what country was Mr. Rumsfeld raised? As a child, of whose heroism did he read? On what side of the battle for freedom did he dream one day to fight? With what country has he confused the United States of America?

The confusion we -- as its citizens— must now address, is stark and forbidding.

But variations of it have faced our forefathers, when men like Nixon and McCarthy and Curtis LeMay have darkened our skies and obscured our flag. Note -- with hope in your heart — that those earlier Americans always found their way to the light, and we can, too.

The confusion is about whether this Secretary of Defense, and this administration, are in fact now accomplishing what they claim the terrorists seek: The destruction of our freedoms, the very ones for which the same veterans Mr. Rumsfeld addressed yesterday in Salt Lake City, so valiantly fought.

And about Mr. Rumsfeld’s other main assertion, that this country faces a “new type of fascism.”

As he was correct to remind us how a government that knew everything could get everything wrong, so too was he right when he said that -- though probably not in the way he thought he meant it.

This country faces a new type of fascism - indeed.

Although I presumptuously use his sign-off each night, in feeble tribute, I have utterly no claim to the words of the exemplary journalist Edward R. Murrow.

But never in the trial of a thousand years of writing could I come close to matching how he phrased a warning to an earlier generation of us, at a time when other politicians thought they (and they alone) knew everything, and branded those who disagreed: “confused” or “immoral.”

Thus, forgive me, for reading Murrow, in full:

“We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty,” he said, in 1954. “We must remember always that accusation is not proof, and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law.

“We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men, not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate, and to defend causes that were for the moment unpopular.”

And so good night, and good luck.

Comments? Email KOlbermann@msnbc.com

Lindsay Lohan: Fire down below? Fire in (around) the hole? I can't pick a title!

My bookie is going to knee-cap me. Lindsay Lohan does NOT, in fact, have a freckled firecrotch, with carpet matching curtains. DAMNATION! For me that was her one last possible redeeming quality. You can see the pictures on that link. Plain as tall Sarah.

Currently Listening to:
The Thermals

The Body, The Blood, The Machine (2006)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Shoot the sherriff?

A British documentary (mockumentary, docudrama, whatever) depicts the fictional assassination of President Bush while on a trip to Chicago in 2007 by a supposed Syrian sniper. As much as I loathe Bush and his administration I still gotta frown upon the premise since I don't believe in murder in any circumstance.

Occasionally I entertain the thought of murder in utilitarian terms, and consider that maybe many lives would be saved were it not for the continued life of one person or a small group of people. But here, killing Bush would accomplish nothing in the way of change, and probably arouse the same fuck-all-brown-people sentiment that propagated after 7-11 and lead to more carpetbombing and xenophobia.

Mostly though I don't want my utter malice for the guy to elicit a knee-jerk, hells-yeah-plug-that-nut-garbler response. I'm not an un-biased juror here so my opinion is just suspect, I think. Maybe I'll just go with "respect the office of the president" and say fie.

Currently Listening to:
CSS

Cansei de Ser Sexy
(2006)

Friday, September 01, 2006

West Wing dialogue

This is an excerpt from The West Wing episode where Jimmy Smits, the Democratic presidential nominee, debates Alan Alda, the Republican nominee. It's spectacular.

"Some of our older airlines are having trouble meeting their huge pension obligations at the very same time when they're facing intense competition from low-cost airlines that are so new they don't yet have pensions to pay. Now, an unthinking liberal will describe the airline bankruptcies as the evil capitalists screwing the workers."

"I didn't say that Senator and I don't think you should put words in my mouth."

"No. Of course you didn't say it. You're not an unthinking liberal. Are you?"

"I know you like to use that word 'liberal' as if it were a crime."

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have used that word. I know Democrats think liberal is a bad word. So bad you had to change it. What do you call yourselves now, progressives? Is that it?"

"It's true. Republicans have tried to turn liberal into a bad word. Well, liberals ended slavery in this country."

"A Republican President ended slavery."

"Yes, a liberal Republican, Senator. What happened to them? They got run out of your party. What did liberals do that was so offensive to the liberal party? I'll tell you what they did. Liberals got women the right to vote. Liberals got African-Americans the right to vote. Liberals created Social Security and lifted millions of elderly people out of poverty. Liberals ended segregation. Liberals passed the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act. Liberals created Medicare. Liberals passed the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act. What did conservatives do? They opposed them on every one of those things, every one. So when you try to hurl that label at my feet, 'Liberal,' as if it were something to be ashamed of, something dirty, something to run away from, it won't work, Senator. Because I will pick up that label and I will wear it as a badge of honor."

Das verken suckens der balls

Buzzing about in Cameron Parish -- a 2-hour trip to and fro.

Wednesday was a 12-hour day, including a 4-foot fall off a loading dock while holding a 17-inch CRT (not flat-panel, i.e. heavy) computer monitor. I decided I'm not particularly fond of falling from loading docks. My pants ripped, I'm having a hard time writing -- half of my left hand is blue and swollen (masturbation... difficult. I'm a southpaw), and my diet has gone to shit because the only thing to eat in the utopian land of Cameron is fast food. Lots of McFried things.

Also I've had to imbibe copius amounts of beer after work (yes, just HAD to) every day to stay grounded and not go mental/postal and quit. So I'm a big fatass now.

Thursday was only a 10-hour day. I should change my Myspace moniker to Inch and the Angry Phillip.

We're off for Labor Day. I should thank Dog for small miracles.

Currently Listening to:
What Made Milwaukee Famous

Trying to Never Catch Up
(2006)

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Handjobs

Sporadically I am a big dumb animal of simian status, with little control of addictions, subsequent actions, and restraint of thought thuswhile. I could be glad that these situations are only chemically-induced phenomena (not at all phenomenal), and not ballast of my everyday sober existence. But we rarely focus on the positive do we? Still, I reverently wash xanax down with beer for fear of not being known at all. Even the blunderous "me".

It's as though some magnanimous knowledge exists innately in those around me that I'm not privy to and it either makes me an outsider looking in or the sole possessor of a different secret who just laments it. It doesn't elicit a sense of superiority or self-pity in me, in either scenario, just the usual perplexion that gnaws at the back of my brain. A hefty Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. I feel like a casual observer of life and lives but rarely a participant.

And speaking of perplexion, why are there internet porn sites solely featuring handjobs? From a male standpoint isn't porn supposed to illustrate that which is not easliy attainable on a regular basis (for us non-socio's and broke-asses)? So.... handjobs? All I have to do for a handjob is buy myself dinner and get myself drunk. And occasionally light some candles. Not that difficult.

Currently Listening To:
My Brightest Diamond

Bring Me the Workhorse
(2006)

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Keats and Yeats are on your side

I also wanted to write a blog about how Dane Cook sucks, but my time is better spent doing... anything but pondering Dane Cook.

Last night I bore witness to nothing but happy couples. Doing couple-y things. Historically this would send me into a spiral of self-pity and bitter loathing, but this morning I strangely find myself unbothered. I credit Mel Gibson and blame 9/11.

Also last night I found out that old friends of mine:

a. Got married without inviting me
b. Moved away without telling me
c. Moved back to Lafayette without contacting me

Three seperate people, mind you.

Not that I desire to be the center of anyone's universe, but FUCK it's a lot of personal disregard to absorb in one night.

Again, I am atypically unbothered. All the zen and meditating and medicating must be paying off. Suck it Tom Cruise!

I noticed in the local Lafayette party line pinko rag that someone was shot and killed at the mall. Strangely I don't care.

Happy birthday Stuart Murdoch!

Currently Listening To:
The Smiths

The Queen Is Dead
(1990)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Top Ten Chapter Titles In George W. Bush's Memoirs

From David Letterman:

10. "101 Ways I've Misspelled 'Condoleezza'"
9. "Why Mom And Dad Voted For Kerry"
8. "The Best Memos I've Never Read"
7. "The War In Iraq, A 6-Foot Sandwich, And Other Things I Started But Couldn't Finish"
6. "How To Lose An Election And Still Become President"
5. "Good News, America - Just 923 More Days"
4. "1962-1964: The Cheerleader Years"
3. "Huh?"
2. "Bubba Was Right - - Monica Is Up For Anything"
1. "Chapter 20...Or is That My Approval Rating?"

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Anniversary

The past few days I've been incessantly regailed with tails of suffering and remaining questions from people victimized by the hurricanes, and the inadequate responses that were begrudgingly offered. It's disheartening.

On one side you have the self-empowered righteous well-to-do's who blame the misfortunes of the relocated on their unwillingness to work and over-breeding, or that they decided to live in a giant bowl, or their darkness, or any other conjured excuse to evade responsibility.

On the other are those who sympathize with their plights and wring hands about what to do to help. Anymore I don't trust charities supposedly set up to give aid to the misplaced. At present I think the best contribution one can make is their time (ALWAYS worth more than money); time helping rebuild, clearing debris, and simply putting in face time to show that the devastated families aren't forgotten, and that there are those out there who still care.

My problem is that I'm just not privy to any means of providing that kind of aid.

I've personally been through Cameron Parish several times (because of work) and seen the progress being made, not by assistance from FEMA or anything government-related, but by the citizens' willingness to come to the aid of one another. We (my company) have been working frantically to get the schools ready for opening -- this past Monday -- and enabling the educational process to procede. But we do this at a profit, which, to me essentially means nothing. There is very little, if any, altruistic motive involved in what we do.

I'd like to do something to help that proffers no thanks whatsoever. Assistance from anonymouse sources to anonymous people whose thanks will never be heard is almost as close to pure altruism as is possible. Otherwise it's latent tit-for-tat.

Any crap, if anyone knows of good charities or means of doing real good with regard to the myriad of victimized and forgotten souls, please pass it along.

Currently Listening To:
The Decemberists

The Crane Wife
(2006)

That's right, I have an advance copy. Beg me.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Meat is murder

This weekend I had a serious yen for a hamburger, and pepperoni on my pizza. I remained stalwart, begrudgingly. Last night I had a dream that I was on my uncle's ranch and bore witness to the process by which cattle go from aloof pasture-grazers to saran-wrapped ground beef (and also strangely horses, even though I have never knowingly eaten or desired horse meat, aside from having metaphorically wanted to eat a whole one).

My zeal against veal has been thusly renewed. Just watch the Kentucky-Fried Cruelty video I have under the "videos" section of my profile. Finger-lickin' malice.

Currently Listening To:
Persephone's Bees

Notes from the Underworld
(2006)

One of my favorites from 2006

Friday, August 11, 2006

Stream of consciousness blather

What else is self-esteem besides an objective attempt at comparison? One says "I like myself" because they live up to their own parameters of worth, but how are said parameters developed? Inevitably doesn't a person hone standards of what they deem meritous by taking examples from other people? So if we don't base our self-esteem on what others think, or of who others are, what is it then based on?

Certain admirable characteristics in others strike chords in us that say "this is good, this is something I would like to employ in myself" and we thusly try. Ed Bagley Jr. is an unltra-environmentalist, which I find admirable, so I try to be as well because eco-altruism appeals to me. It strikes my biologically hard-wired chord. And when I satisfy my yen to nourish that desire I feel as if I have done something proper, and I think better of myself.

But I've also observed people hunting, and despite it being en vogue among several people around me I still find it vulgar, simian, and indicative of intellectual reversion to baser instincts. It doesn't nourish any desire in me whatsoever (not even when it's headed right for us!).

I've no idea where self-esteem comes from, or what it says that it's something you can supposedly "work on." I would say it's just a victim of circumstance and you have less control over it than some would suggest. But mine sucks and maybe it's just more convenient for me to think so.

As such and contrarily, I'm going to try to become the master of my own self-esteem, instead of the reverse. Really the power of thought is vastly underestimated. We approach life as time to make money to live, live well and die comfortably, but the standard of "living well" is a fabrication made up by our environment and peers. Most people quickly lose the ability to close their eyes and go on a vacation, or be able to look straight up into the sky or see a blade of grass and marvel at its beauty wherever you happen to be. There is a disconnect between rationality and sensory perception. We accept what we see, smell, hear, taste and touch as real, or "tangible." How does anyone know what is or isn't real though?

It's all objectivity, which delineates that real truth does not exist. As sson as the brain processes some stimulus it applies experience, thought, and the subject is skewed somehow. Think about how a person's mood affects their outlook on themselves and the world. I say this based on personal experience (and from endless cliches about optimism), but when I'm in a good mood I think more highly of myself, work becomes easier, not much can get me down. And a person's outlook is basically a choice they make based on external stimuli, to be gumpy or happy or generous or vengeful, etc. So essentially I choose what my reality is, based on interpretations of external factors that affect me.

A person's natural instinct can in a sense be counterintuitive; we ALLOW certain conditions in our lives we perceive as negative to become internalized, and thus affect our mood. And who really WANTS to be in a bad mood (masochists aside)? Why can't we redefine how we react to those stimuli? It's probably not easy but with practice why can't it be done? It's just a choice.
You can apply this to today's neo-conservatives. Their opinions are based not on what we would call "reality" but rather a conjured reality they've created for themselves in order to rationalize their true ends. They decide what outcome they desire then formulate the environment around it to provide the means.

And people as a whole are too preoccupied with ends. The roller coaster analogy -- you look forward to the steep drop and loops, but without the nerve-wracking, jolting, rattling trip up the giant hill the whole experience would be ruined, or at least mitigated. Anticipation in life is what gratifies. It's the same way you enjoy taking a piss much more after you've been holding it in forever than under normal circumstances.

So is this whole experience we call life just clattering up the roller-coaster incline waiting for the big thrill? What big thrill are we hoping we'll arrive at? Religions say the afterlife, but I say that getting there is more than half the fun. It may be the only fun there is. You have to appreciate the here and now because noone knows for certain where this "journey" will lead to, if anywhere. As Trinity said in The Matrix, "..it's the question that drives us..."

People who vanquish their enemies are left with no purpose. The thrill of the chase needs to be more appreciated by all of us. My cat loves playing with straws, and when I'm swinging it all around and playing tug-of-war he's ecstatic. But when I let go, when I let him win, he just kind of sits there with this disappointed look on his chevy chase.

Getting there is half the fun? Understatement.

Lots of hawkish Americans aver that the torture of detainees, arbitrarily labelled as "hostile combatants" to whom the Geneva Conventions allegedly don't apply, deserve to be tortured, because they do it to innocent Americans. Two people standing next to each other, both supportive of this mentality, should sport "I'm with stupid" shirts. You don't become great by lowering your own standards to those of your enemies, who you claim to be evil. I.e., they're bad so we should be bad too? Doesn't that only prove that a fair Democracy based on laws does not work? It's imperative that, no matter how heinous the actions of our enemies may be, that we adhere to a higher moral standard than they, otherwise we have no right to complain about their tactics.

And the idea of beating "terrorists who hate our freedom" by sacrificing those freedoms ourselves is mind-numbing on so many levels. It's tantamount to committing suicide so no one can kill you.

But sadly we do not live in an age of reason.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Ailing, illing, but not illin'

I want to drill a hole in my cranium to alleviate the pressure that is causing this headache. Also I'm pretty positive I have a fever and, possibly, the flu. Me need cortisone shot, right in the buttock. Never before have I longed to have my ass pierced and violated -- that's how rotten I feel. I'm not going to work today and depending on what the doc tells me I may not tomorrow. Fuck work. I woke up with night sweats last night and fits of hot and cold. T'aint fun.

If anyone wants to bring me some coffee ice cream I'll metaphorically suck their dick.

On the sunny side my landlord is putting in a new air conditioner for me. which excites me beyond comprehension; I feel like a little schoolgirl. I've always maintained that the greatest invention man or woman ever made was air conditioning. Central air is king, but the window units do the job.

I'm making copies of all my DVD's so I can sell them. If anyone is interested they're $5 each, probably. And while on the topic of high finance I may have to sell my ACL tickets. I'm running very light on the yen lately and need to inject a little Jewiness into my practices.

Mmmmmm that's good anti-semitism...

Sunday, July 23, 2006

J. Krishnamurti on love

"Where there is the possibility of pain there is no love The questioner wants to know how he can act freely and without self-repression when he knows his action must hurt those he loves. You know, to love is to be free; both parties are free. Where there is the possibility of pain, where there is the possibility of suffering in love, it is not love, it is merely a subtle form of possession, of acquisitiveness. If you love, really love someone, there is no possibility of giving him pain when you do something that you think is right. It is only when you want that person to do what you desire or he wants you to do what he desires, that there is pain. That is, you like to be possessed; you feel safe, secure, comfortable; though you know that comfort is but transient, you take shelter in that comfort, in that transience. So each struggle for comfort, for encouragement, really but betrays the lack of inward richness; and therefore an action separate, apart from the other individual naturally creates disturbance, pain and suffering; and one individual has to suppress what he really feels in order to adjust himself to the other. In other words, this constant repression, brought about by so-called love, destroys the two individuals. In that love there is no freedom; it is merely a subtle bondage.

Book of Life - July 21st

Thursday, July 20, 2006

R.W. Emerson Self-tout

This is an excerpt from the essay Self Reliance by Emerson:

But the man is, as it were, clapped into jail by his consciousness. As soon as he has once acted or spoken with eclat, he is a committed person, watched by the sympathy or the hatred of hundreds, whose affections must now enter into his account. There is no Lethe for this. Ah, that he could pass again into his neutrality! Who can thus avoid all pledges, and having observed, observe again from the same unaffected, unbiased, unbribable, unaffrighted innocence, must always be formidable. He would utter opinions on all passing affairs, which being seen to be not private, but necessary, would sink like darts into the ear of men, and put them in fear.

I've been reading some essays by Emerson, one of my favorite writers to quote. I find myself disagreeing with him in regard to Self-Reliance though.

He writes that our natural instincts should trump opinions and perceptions honed by existence, education, society, culture, etc.; a child's view is superior to that of an adult's since it has not been corrupted by experience.

Perception isn't pure and right simply because it hasn't been influenced by outside factors though. Humans as animals have an innate desire to eat, to fuck, but we don't run willy-nilly over creation stealing and raping to nourish those instincts, because civilization has pre-empted those needs in recognition that we need an ordered societal structure.

Par example: our president -- not exactly an algonquin roundtable nominee. Supporters call him "resolute" for tuning out opinions of the American and world majority and doing what he allegedly believes is right non grata (and in the fantasy bubble world in which he lives, I may cede that he does believe he is right).

But we can't live in fantasy worlds. It's necessary that you formulate beliefs and practices based on something more factual and applicable than instinct (or Biblical passages, but that's a whole other morass to get into). I understand the Ockam's razor notion of simplicity's credence, but even that simplicity is based on proven scientific fact.

Maybe childlike innocence is prefereable in some ways to adults formulating opinions around what they want to believe, not necessarily the truth, such as those that decide what ends they want (usually financial gain) and subsequently facilitate the means in their mind to make said means seem moral and/or logical, ala Bush. But I don't accept that our original humanity is always corrupted by experience.

Ralphie, no air rifle for you this Xmas. It all sounds like a rationale for laissez-faire, thunderdome behavior.

Although I can appreciate the notion of heaving a big helping heaping of "Fuck You" to conformity, so long as it bears reason in mind and isn't some ephemeral rebellion for the sake of rebellion.

Currently Listening To:

The Grates

Gravity Won't Get You High
(2006)

Subsiding

Hello all (both of you). I am still alive and blogging, I just mainly do it on my Myspace blog now:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=18410551

It's just more convenient to get blog updates via mail than to have to repeatedly check people's blogs every day to see if they've posted something new.

I'm deliberating coming back to blogger, but for the time-being if you want to read my drivel you'll have to go there. Sincerely I appreciate the interest.

Love and fucks.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Anachronism

Just an arbitrary anachronistic post so that the month of June 2006 realizes that I was alive, AND in New York City for a time. Hoo-rah.

Friday, May 26, 2006

american idle

ours is a culture of anti-intellectualism. craven lunacy airs on television Almighty and we fawn hypnotically; the finale of "american idol" garnered 40 million viewers. how so many can invest so much time in something so pointless and mind-numbingly simian is beyond me. i understand the schadenfreude appeal of watching simon cowell lambaste freaks who gladly suffer slings/arrows of national ridicule because their vanity is more than sated by being on national television at all.

but if we take so much pleasure in suffering -- especially when it happens far away and forces us to sacrifice nothing -- why not pay more attention to reality (NOT tv reality, reality-reality)? mainstream media is crap, but a more shakespearean tragedy there is not. genocide in darfur, slaughtering innocent iraqis sans reason (not that there could ever be a reason to justify it), treating sects of people as sub-standard, soldiers coming home limbless and insane, sodomizing mother nature, running up a $8 trillion credit card bill (translating into each citizen owing $28,000), and all for no reason at all. this is not enough drama for the ADD-addled american public?

i could give people the benefit of the doubt and say we're addicted to the glittzy distraction because ignorance is bliss and reality is a tad TOO harsh, but i don't think we deserve that much credit. intentional ignorance would mean that cognizance exists on some level of what we're ignoring. we've always been too self-involved to give even that first fiddler's fuck about anything but our own meaningless existences of pop culture and endless consumerism and glitter-picture html codes.

why should we care about darky children being murdered on a darky continent with no darky liquid gold under their feet? we don't even KNOW, much less care, about such things. as long as i get my rent payed on time.

i don't know exactly what i'm complaining about since i don't know what possible solutions would be. behavioral problems on such a grand scale aren't easily remedied without extreme motivation (higher gas prices -- good). for a start i'm ditching my cable.

in "seven" kevin spacey (john doe) said, "Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer."

genocide and war and racism and fascism and murder aren't big enough sledgehammers? how extreme does injustce have to get before we stop ignoring. never underestimate the power of denial i guess.

merry christmas!

Friday, May 19, 2006

fox news aryans

bill o'reilly:

"I don't have any respect by and large for the Iraqi people at all. I have no respect for them. I think that they're a prehistoric group..."

"...we cannot intervene in the Muslim world ever again. What we can do is bomb the living daylights out of them, just like we did in the Balkans. Just as we did in the Balkans. Bomb the living daylights out of them. But no more ground troops, no more hearts and minds, ain't going to work."

bill bennet:

"... if you wanted to reduce crime ... if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down."

ann coulter:

"I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East, and sending liberals to Guantanamo."

tony snow (former fox commentator, current white house press secretary), in his first press conference:

SNOW: Having said that, I don’t want to hug the tar baby of trying to comment on the program, the alleged program, the existence of which I can neither confirm nor deny.

QUESTION: What are your personal goals? What do you hope to achieve here? Will you continue to televise these briefings? And would you put into English the phrase (OFF-MIKE) the tarbaby?

SNOW: Well, I believe hug the tarbaby, we could trace that back to American lore.

john gibson:

"[d]o your duty. Make more babies," because he had found out, from a recently released report, that nearly half of all children under the age of five in the United States are minorities. Gibson added: "You knowwhat that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic." Gibson later repeated: "To putit bluntly, we need more babies."

la de da de da de-dadedade-da

last night i dreamt i was colin meloy of the decemberists and we were playing a club. la de da de da de-dadedade-da.

has anyone heard the new walkmen album? maybe ive been snorting too much of my own product but it really sucks pole. it made me feel dirty inside.

office depot had 100-packs of blank cd's going 2-for-1 so now i have 200 cd-r's that i'll never use. if anyone wants a cd of anything we can trade for sexual favors and/or gratuitous compliments, at my discretion.

why, oh why, did i go out and drink last night? i hate those fucking all-too-prevalent megadeth-wannabe rage death metal bands. work sucks, ten times so when hungover. plus i have to socialize with the family tonight, and the ENTIRE family tomorrow for the reunion. it's going to be a huge crawfish boil, the smell of which is the most heinous thing in the world to me. i would rather have to impregnate starr jones in front of a live studio audience while she eats a bucket of chicken and repeats "yes i am a lawyer" over and over again.

plus i'm not keen on breaking open a crustacean and eating the insides. i'm not big on the "process" side of food.

but anyway, if i can find a hot female cousin twice-removed i may be in business. if we ever got married would everyone have to sit on the same side of the church? chew on that.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

ich bin ayn sun yi

because i love woody allen so much and identify with him in so many ways (i'm a little bit jewish, i'm a little bit rock n' roll...) i am going to name my new kitty: sun yi. also because she's a female i'm living wtih who's about 30 years younger than me. i almost went with "gertrude" in honor of gertrude stein but then remembered i don't particularly like gertrude stein, and was getting her confused with margaret meade (aces baby, ACES).

and on the topic of female writers -- why did i think i liked ayn rand? she was a libertarian egotistical cockblower. i may hug trees but it's better than hugging myself. and doesn't she look like a nazi sympathizer (and mannish)? free market capitalism and fascism aren't that far apart you know, although one is an economic system and the other a political one. but the two are so enmeshed the difference seems negligible.

holy shnikies mel gibson criticized george bush. fuck, if you weren't scared before... his (mel gibson's) new film is called "apocalypto," depicting the fall of the mayan civilizatinon. all these christian jihadists believe in the biblical apocalpyse, the "end of days," and what, i wonder, would they do to see that it comes about? self-fulfilling prophecies? yesssss, it's a good time to fear the god-fearing.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

sisyphetic (my word, trademark)

the experience of losing a pet is, i've found, remarkably similar to getting broken up with. you're forced to function thereafter with this damp, heavy weight about you that makes every task -- mundane or otherwise -- that much harder. or like working in that office from "being john malkovich" (why don't i own that dvd?) where the ceiling is about four feet high and "normal" activity is a strain.

everything is painful. you can act a certain way -- bubbly on the phone with the clients, portraying a veneer of normalcy, but true suffering underlies it all. there is NOTHING worse than having to feign happiness when you are eviscerated emotionally.

this has basically been my past few days. i have the new kitten, which has mitigated the pain somewhat, but simultaneously i still feel the very real void. i've barely eaten this weekend. i had plans to go out on friday and saturday but couldn't. i wasn't in any kind of mindset to partake in events of a celebratory nature.

which really surprises me -- under distressing circumstances the sauce is usually a panacea for me. like everything else it just takes time.

Friday, May 12, 2006

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

(one of the saddest parts about our society is that these arguments, before the humorous common sense, are the real reasons why people can't accept gay marriages.)

uber sadness

my cat died last night. i took care of a living thing for a little over a year. i let him outside yesterday evening, which i shouldn't have done since he was raised indoors and very domesticated. but he'd constantly cry to go out and it made me feel bad NOT to let him. the vet said he probably got hit by a car. he couldn't breathe and was coughing up blood despite no superficial wounds. so my cat is gone.

my landlord owns the zoo of acadiana, and apparently people drop off strays there all the time. last night my downstairs neighbor lisa, who is an all-around exceptional individual (especially putting up with me stomping around all the time), called and mentioned to him that my cat died, and he brought over a black/gray kitten. i think it's a girl.

it feels odd getting another pet so quickly, and i wasn't even sure i wanted another one. but there are too many animals, too many ubers, without homes for me to selfishly indulge my sadness and swear off pets because it hurts too much when they die.

a few posts ago i wrote about life existing at extremes. case-in-point: pets. it's torturous when they die, but i don't wish for a second that i never had him. the joy and companionship they bring on a daily basis is more than worth the void they leave in your life. so yeah, i'll get another cat.

and uber, my little jew, my little security deposit, thanks for making my life better. you'll be missed always my friend.

photos

also, if missing my dead pet makes me gay then bring on the cock.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

mitigate your emotions, for the love of dog

here's what i want to write about at present: the internalization of relative principles of human interaction and expectations said and implied therein.

it's nothing short of miraculous that anyone has friends, romance, tolerables, acquaintences, pen pals, maids, bosses, jobs, cars, or anything requiring human interaction. our laungauge, moreover our means of communicating, seems so inadequate to facilitate a functioning society. it's no wonder terms such as "the reality-based community" are surfacing nowadays.

we nearly need to be empaths, mind-readers, like that hot counselor from star trek tng. our vernacular can't encompass the entire array of human sentiments, but worse than that is that most people have no clue whatsoever how to even offer up a ballpark amalgom. i.e. it's rare that we get a very accurate impression of what someone is thinking and/or feeling based on verbal communication.

i don't have the best command of the english language, admittedly, but some intangibles are difficult to express and share through words only. we need e.s.p. i love the concept of empathy, when you think of an "empath" you (or at least i) envision someone who can read minds. empathy, by contrast, is essentially taking your own brain -- perceptions, opinions, all of it -- and putting it in someone else's circumstances and life in an effot to understand contextual stimuli behind behavior you may not understand. it's a poor substitute for actual mind-reading, but i guess it's the best we got (those of us unfortunate enough not to be john edward).

communication barriers are the bane of my existence, and i have the feeling the same holds true for the vast hoi polloi, whether they're cognizant of it or not.

and what's worse, above all, is that most people don't even try to communicate overtly and effectively. we're more comfortable with innuendo and second-guessing and dropping subtle hints and interpretation of things that should, by all means, be blatant. no wonder so much violence and divorce and war and drama exists in the world.

shout from the rooftops whatever the fuck is on your mind, whatever your intentions are. be brutally honest. it saves time and pain. fuck the prim and proper ethos of "i shouldn't have to say this for you to understand it" or "it's not you it's me."

lastly i'll offer up a personal safeguard: be stringent with hope. it will bite you in the scrotum if you let it get out of hand. you need to put sort of a maximum on optimism, like a dog with a remote collar that shocks it when it ventures outside a designated perimeter. i realize it sounds very glass-half-empty, but it has some relevant real-life applications and benefits. call it cynical, i call it pre-emptive.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

go north, young man (a.k.a. imitation of life)

new yawk! soon you will have my man-stink all over you. i'm apprehensive that it'll be drug that i'll actually get addicted to, having had to suffer in south louisiana and it's frankly LAME music scene the better part of my life. by "better" i mean "majority." my existence here for the most part has been a metaphoric beat-down with a box of tide.

which sounds odd coming off of a festival weekend in which i thoroughly enjoyed myself.

but the whole acadiana cajun culture ethos and it's supposed "joi de vivre" has never worked for me (and i'm not convinced that the portrayed local hospitality isn't just a marketing scam to boost tourism).

i loathe zydeco more than lupus, which i've never had, but would RATHER have than suffer through zydeco. hospitality associated with cajuns is crap. based on my experiences with south louisiana locals i find them to be, largely, retarded and ignorant.

not necessarily is it just a matter of heritage. i've written posts-a-plenty involving nature v. nurture issues (sounds like a supreme court case) and that blaming flaws in your character/behavior on chemical imbalances and mommy not loving you / daddy being a racist only excuse you to a point.

my mother's maiden name was desormeaux. i've spent the vast majority of my existence here (michael stipe and co. would call it an "imitation of life"). i have no accent, i'm not an ignorant redneck racist (unless my self-evaluative acumen is way off), i've never been mud-ridin', i don't hunt/fish (admittedly not exclusive to louisiana), and i think the smell of a crawfish boil is the most heinous experience a person could go through. again, i'd rather have lupus.

the attitudes and shortcomings aren't rampant in necessarily everyone in the area. there are no blanket rules. but there are VERY prominent trends.

point being: i don't belong. at the moment my dilemma with relocating is simply logistical. i say "simply" when it couldn't be more of a complicated and seemingly impossible pain in the posterior.

i have a handful of decent friends here whom i'd miss. but i'd hate to look back on my life down the road and harbor nothing but lament that i did a mellencamp-style born/lived/died in a small town thing.

or maybe i'd be just as miserable anywhere. happiness is supposed to come from within. mine could use some help climbing out though and maybe a change of scenery would do just that.

currently listening to:
rock kills kid
are you nervous (2006)

Sunday, April 30, 2006

no... more... festival

no more laissez les blah blah rouler for me. after three days of alcohol (early and often) and trapsing around downtown i am sated with regard to la fetivul internationale.

the frigg show friday got me all nostalgic for the old days (daze). and a little weepy. move back chadwick!

i'm going to nyc in june -- it's entirely possible i will not return.

nap time i guess.

Friday, April 28, 2006

anger mgmt

a supposed coping mechanism for dealing with anger is to write a letter to the source of your ill ease and destroy it. and then all is well? methinks not. the catharsis doesn't come unless you hit that "send" button (or drop it in the box, whatever). would you read the first 3/4 of a james joyce novel? fuck no -- joyce is boring and you wouldn't read word one. the peculiar ducks like me (that's "ducks," with a "D" assholes) understand the comparison though.

i'm just irrationalizing personal knee-jerks. begin fallible sucks. not being able to admit it would suck harder right?

1. You have 10 bucks and need to buy snacks at a gas station, what do you get?
diet dr. pepper, water, copius amounts of red bull

2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dwelling creature, what would you be?
giant tortoise

3. Who's your favorite redhead?
neko case

4. What do you order when you're at a pancake house?
garcon, coffee!

5. Last book you read?
"the chocolate war" -- robert cormier

6. Have you made out with anyone on your friend's list?
almost everyone, soon enough everyone.

7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear.
elastic waistband, doesn't inhibit my junk, fits.

8. Describe the last time you were injured.
drunken chacanery

9. Of all your friends, with whom would you want to be stuck in the middle of a jungle?
probably jenny sweden, despite having never met her

10. Are there any odd things that make you feel uncomfortable?
only normal things make me uncomfortable

11. Are there any weird things that turn you on?
a-plenty

12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?
a giant, gaping vagina

13. Soda?
diet something with caffeine

14. Flavor of pudding?
pistachio (also favorite nut)

15. What type of shirt are you wearing?
puffy

16. Prescription medication?
love the Rx

17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life, what would it be?
that giant white flying dog from "the neverending story"

18. How many people are on your friends list?
36

19. How many people on your list do you know in real life?
most.. i guess

20. What are you listening to right now?
johnny cash

21. Most recent movie you've watched:
"capote"

22. Name 3 things you have with you at all times:
watch, throwing stars, guilt

23. Would you rather give or receive a foot massage?
give

24. Name a teacher you had the hots for:
i've never had a hot-for teacher

25. What is a saying that you use a lot?
move that gigantic cotton candy!

27. What is your favorite part of the chicken?
the charisma

28. What's your favorite town?
funkytown

29. Favorite kind of cake?
cup

30. What's the first word that comes to mind right now?
ovule

31. When was the last time you saw your mom in person?
mardi gras

32. What makes you feel like puking?
nausea

33. Who got you to join myspace?
obviously i don't know otherwise i'd be serving time for having murdered them.

34. What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT?
lean cuisine motherfucker

35. How long have you been at your current job?
2 years in june

36. Is Tom on your friends list?
he deleted me

37. What's the last thing you said out loud?
ubie-doo

38. Look to your left, what do you see?
blake babies poster

39. Who is the last person who spent $100 on you?
me

40. Who's your favorite villain?
michael bay

41. What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
borrow clothing? i don't think guys really do that.

42. What's the last piece of clothing you bought?
underwear from goodwill

43. What phrase makes you laugh no matter where, when or how?
"you said you didn't like the grease from fried bacon, so i boiled it."

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

more, more, more... how do you like it

europe is very appealing right now. everything seems so much more efficient, and advanced. americans like everything inordinately BIG. big vehicles, big tits, big guns, big oil, big bombs, big bank accounts, big houses, all to compensate for small penises. europeans, IF they drive, have cars actually called "minis." we name our vehicles after fellatio (the modest "hummer") and abstractions (the ford "focus?" ironic since the moniker renders your visual interpretation of the vehicle nothing but blurry).

our governemtn spends more on big guns and bombs than any other country in the world, nay, in HISTORY. someone please explain to people that a small penis isn't a character flaw -- it's not something you have much control over, and thus shouldn't be delusionally beating or killing people to compensate for. don't bring the rest of us non-aestheticists (invented word) down with you.

what does it say that the phrase "big, swinging dick" is equated to supreme power? and is there something on par concerning vaginas? the big, gaping vagina? doesn't have the same bombast. i blame john "women are things" cassavetes. and of course 9/11. and clinton.

proof that i practice what i preach -- i sold my 30" flat panel monitor in lieu of a 19", which displaces at least half the size. i'm immersed in possession reduction, since they're fleeting anyway, by nature. i'm not going for minimalism necessarily, just a bit of fat-trimming. although i have been listening to alot of philip glass.

also, my left nut for an effective mass transit system in this town. the destitue petrol-dependents out there are probably with me.

Monday, April 24, 2006

cheap trick AND cutting crew: suck it

my headache is massive and i am bored. in truth i think i died, because i've had no communication with anyone today (not you lacey -- you're just dead too) and the internet seems barren.

yes i realize it's contrary to complain about too many calls on one day and the lack thereof on another. also it's puzzling that i develop a headache on a day in which i'm not being bothered at all. maybe i need to be needed.

actually -- i hate being needed but need to be wanted. or i drank too much caffeine.

oooohhhh god, oh geez. i feel an oncoming cd spending spree. whee.

white house approved culture of life letter to media

from the always riotous whitehouse.org:

I Support President Bush on CULTURE OF LIFE!

Dear Pinko Reporter - President Bush asked me to tell you how DISGUSTED us mainstream ultra-evangelicals are with your SICKENING disrespect for human life! He and the Pope are RIGHT about how condom use is immoral interference with life, but plugging drooling zombies into smoothie machines is A-OK. Because even if Terri Schiavo's brain was the size of a marshmallow peep, her eyes were OPEN, and that's PROOF she was THINKING - just like when RONALD REAGAN had NO MEMORY of a criminal conspiracy to sell arms to evildoers. As for ABORTION - the lives of pea-sized womb boogers are WAY more sacred than dumb girls who practically BEG for incestuous rape by dressing like tramps. Besides, everyone knows that parasitic tadpole people deserve PROTECTION - at least until they're born and start begging for pork barrel handouts like education and healthcare, or get convicted by all-white juries for being total retarded minors. So stop QUESTIONING the President's CULTURE OF LIFE, otherwise foreigners think it's OK to be uppity when He wants to bomb Arabiac babies and grandmas who are guilty of terrorism-by-proximity! Sheesh! Read a poster already!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

wonk wonk

ahhhh the dobbs. lou, that is. i'm catching up on relevant cnn punditry from this week (oddly enough being aired on some aoc program) and it seems, and maybe this is just foolish optimism, that even the more mainstream of "news" personalities are beginning to smell the stink.

right now there's some neo-con chucklefucker on c-span beating the drum for war in iran. lick my balls.

in total six retired generals have publicly denounced donald rumsfeld and his competancy as secretary of defense (formerly known as "secretary of war") and his war plan, or lack thereof.

the preznit, months ago, averred that he would find the source of the valerie plame leak (he didn't use the phrase "smoke 'em out," as he did concerning osama bin laden all those years ago, but he wanted to), and scooter libby testifies that the source of the leak was the president himself.

it's no wonder we, the public, are so easily manipulated into focusing our attention on issues like immigration (the public that watches cable news, that is). think about it -- it was the only thing you could read about two weeks ago. and now, where is it? i haven't seen headline one dealing with it in almost a week.

maybe if the mainstream (i don't concede "mainstream,"), or rather CORPORATE, media weren't so willing to carry water for the bushista cosa nostra teabaggers and avoid relevant issues to document tom cruise eating his new baby's placenta, maybe we wouldn't be living in a severely mismanaged america, inc. today.

i incessantly gripe about our system of government. i complain about a myriad of things, but few disconcert me as much as the political state of our country. why is that so? most people, you too -- reading this, could not be more disinterested with politics. i don't blame them; we are brought up by television and hypnotized by the flickering screens of computers, distracted with utterly irrelevant items like who to vote off "american idol" or what to do on the weekend. we have our own lives, and the vast majority of us are probably too busy making ends meet and dealing with our own vices and responsibilities to take notice of what occurs on a grander scale. because the ways in which politics affects us are often so minute, and the changes so gradual, that it slips by unnoticed.

this is why i think the rising gas prices are a good thing. an elevated level of awareness in the populous is almost invaluable.

or how about south dakota banning ALL abortions? no exceptions for rape, incest, or the mother's health. who's to say this doesn't set a precedent for other states to follow suit? i'm in louisiana, so you HAVE to know that our state legislation, and maybe a majority of the state citizenry, aren't averse to like legislation.

i don't mean to be a wonk who only bitches about what i perceive as unjust in government (watch a movie called "naked" by mike leigh -- the guy complains about everything but does nothing in the way of offering solutions). public campaign financing would fix about 95% of the problems we face today. politicians would only have to please their constituents (us) and not the corporations that fund their campaigns, their jobs.

also we need a little bit of anarchy. i'm hesitant to use the word "anarchy" becuase it seems so pejorative at face value. how about, reform? a little revolution? non-violent, of course. our elections have become farses in which we pick the lesser of evils. we need more than a dichotomous party system. i commend ralph nader for dipping his toe into the water of a third party, but i still consider him a douchebag for only doing it once every four years. if he were genuine in his intent to create a third party --- green, independent, whatever -- then he would pursue the notion constantly, not just sporadically every four years. in that sense, he's a phony. i regret voting for him in 2000 (not that my vote matters much in louisiana).

speaking of which, the electoral college needs to be eighty-sixed. it's antiquated and not applicable today as it was a couple centuries ago. presidential candidates campaign only in swing states. it makes me feel un-loved. is it any wonder such a small percentage of americans actually vote?

partisanship: it's turned into sports. people toe the party line regardless of their own personal beliefs or consideration for the good of the country as a whole. party loyalty has superceded national loyalty. i don't believe one side is better than the other -- they both suck taint (with the exception of a few individuals -- russ feingold, lincoln chafee). if you want to know my laundry list of qualms with the republican party just peruse every other post i've ever written. my biggest problem with the democrats is their eager willingness to apologize for their liberal values and capitulate to the more moderate wing of the party (the FUCKING dlc, par example, who submarined paul hackett's senate run in ohio because he was a little too frank, a little too much of an iraq war veteran, and a little too likely to win).

fuck it. vote out every incumbent.


currently listening: zero 7 the garden (2006)

Friday, April 21, 2006

hallelujia it's raining zen

yesterday i bought the movie "happiness" (with the esteemed phillip seymour hoffman) on dvd. it's a great movie dealing with pedophilia, among other things.

i wondered how someone would develop a physical attraction to children like one of the characters. just the thought of it, to me, has the same effect as thinking about having sex with my mother (that dreadful oedipal notion that no man EVER wants in his head, especially during coital and/or masturbatory activities). it evokes a nauseating feeling of vile revulsion; it makes my skin crawl. but it's definitely a physical reaction -- biological, chemical, natural, etc.

the societal norm for men and women is to be attracted to (of age) members of the opposite sex, and most are. for those who are stimulated by people of the same sex, though, wouldn't you think the same physical, biological elements involved in heterosexual attraction exist in them, just for members of the same sex?

it's just so apparent to me that physical attraction is more than just culturally suggested mores -- it's something you can't help. for pedophiles nothing excuses taking advantage of children, but it says something about the nature of human attraction, and homosexuality. that, as i've always thought, it isn't just a choice, as the fred phelpses and jerry falwells of the world would have their sheeple believe (either because they're gay themselves and/or there's money to be made).

i've never really doubted that sexual orientation has little or nothing to do with just deciding one way or the other, this is just reinforcement.

also, the movie's opening scene with jon lovitz and jane adams is sublimely cathartic on a personal level.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

tartuffes for all eras

if and when i am ever on trial for a serious crime i would opt for the insanity defense. if i served time in federal prison i would be incessantly sodomized; i drop the soap in the shower at least once a week as it is. conversely i would do very well in an insane asylum. think of it -- all the meds you would ever want, soft, padded walls, meals and wardrobe pre-planned, no need to get out of bed to piss, free tv, and the most interesting people you are likely to meet. what's not to like?

lately i've been renting old movies from blockbuster. i considered "how green was my valley" but first read the plot synopsis, and it turns out the movie's NOT about a hooker who makes a ton of money.

not shocking really -- 1941 wasn't the most progressive of times for sex in films. "lolita" didn't come out until 1962 and the innuendo and symbolism alone (if you have a sick mind, as i do, and pick up on them) were considered scandalous, not to mention the plot. i find that drole -- only perverted minds understand the subtext, so the people complaining about the perversion must, by default, be perverted themselves. assumed didacticism isn't temporally dependent apparently. yeah, no shit sherlock.


currently listening: the mendoza line full of light and full of fire (2006)

shannon mcardle is a HOTTIE, and as we all know you have to be physically attractive to make good music. she sounds like a somewhat scaled-back neko case and i like it.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

eco-fool

i keep mulling over this stupid, stupid, inspired idea of returning to school to get another degree/grad degree in polsci to be an environmental lobbyist, or something like it. i'm experiencing what i would correlate to baby fever in females, only much more masochistic, to prove to dad i'm not a fool... maybe i just need to change my a.c. filter. things don't feel natural or settled as they should.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

"hostel" spoiler warning

we're getting uniforms at work and i'm uncertain how i feel in regard. it's sort of like the frosted mini-wheats commercial: the adult in me is acerbic at anything "uniform" that derives people of individuality and forces them to conform. but the kid in me relishes not having to ever worry about what to wear to work again and getting three free shirts, thus the confliction. and the shirts aren't bad/ugly -- just short-sleeved, solid forest green with a little company logo, and khakis. i'm just principally against uniformity in general. my angst isn't that relevant; i have no choice in the matter if i want to keep my job. so mox nix.

i watched "hostel" last night, which quentin tarantino "produced." how fantastic it must be to get payed to affix your name to something. the movie: lots of gore, hot naked eastern european chicks (chicks?), not particularly entertaining. overall i never find horror movies that frightening. the scariest movie i've seen was "the mothman prophecies" and it was only pg-13, not that mpaa ratings necessarily mean anything.

it will be a cold day in lafayette when i go see any "scary movie" or "date movie" or any movie michael bay had a hand in making. it would be tantamount to watching "american idol." i'd rather have my eyeball pulled out like the asian girl in "hostel."

get rhythm when you get the blues

it's only recently that i've become a big fan of johnny cash's music, resulting from "walk the line" and its popularity. it's lame to hop on bandwagons, i know, but in this case i'll happily admit to being a johnny-come-lately.

me and my incessant puns! do you see what i have to deal with on a regular basis? for fuck's sake.

my blog is going through revisions right now. bear with me, bear in mind that change is good, bear me no ill will.

Monday, April 17, 2006

non sequitur

i wanted to get something down about tax day -- is it odd that it fell on good friday? what happened to the seperation of church and state? also some personal info that i guess i don't mind sharing: in 2005 my tax refund was over $350. this year? $66.00 with all things remaining equal.

uncle sam ---> hand ----> up shirt ----> tit ----> squeeze ----> purple.

ubiquitous and happy myopia

the level of inquiry in which you are fully engaged with yourself affects the world. by "fully engaged" i mean that you lead an examined life -- you question yourself incessantly in order to hone your beliefs to be based as much on reality as possible.

"hawks" in government and their disciples (religious inference intended) have no such inner inquiry. there is no use in debating, no negotiation or possible capitulation ever necessary. you're either with us or against us.

they deal in absolutes, despite absolutes not existing in nature. everything is gray; true or false questions are inherently inaccurate narratives because all is objective. observing the process will change it. we see a teal car; i say it's blue, you say it's green.

the official definition of teal: "moderate or dark bluish green to greenish blue." who's right? neither of us. both of us.

but recognition of middle ground doesn't seem to be a capability of today's curmudgeons in charge; especially so with the curmudgeon-in-chief. actually, revision: they may be capable of self-scrutiny, but those that are just don't practice it (for money, re-election, and/or power -- the three great motivators).

i constantly quote philosophers who captured certain sentiments perfectly (especially emerson, even though he once wrote, "i hate quotations. tell me what you know."). bertrand russell said, "the whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."

the best thing about human beings, and maybe the only saving grace, is their (i'm not human, i'm a robot) ability to be intellectually curious about anything and everything. some choose to take advantage, some don't. i have my own theories about why, mostly concerning emotional (im)maturity and nature/nurture bric-a-brac. for some it's a conscious decision -- they're cognizant of certain truths but choose to feign ignorance to further their own personal agendas (again, money/power). for others it's just stupidity.

either they don't see or don't care about (which is worse?) the synergy of humanity; the ontological effects of policies and actions symptomatic of short-sightedness, myopia, greed, malice, and ultimately the externalization of personal demons (daddy didn't love me so i'm going to fuck all these people over).

"since my job was outsourced to an indian computer technician i now hate all foreigners."

"i was robbed by a black person, so all black people are criminals."

generalizations based on singularities are the big, dick-swinging albatrosses of our culture.

although this all is only my opinion and i may be wrong.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

happy birthday jesus!

1. When was the last time you had sex?
what is this "sex" you speak of

2. How do you flush the toilet in public?
you mean when using a public toilet? either with my foot or not at all.

3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
always

4. Do you have a crush on someone?
my left hand

5. Name one thing that you start to get tense about if you are close to running out of it:
time, medication

6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?
paul giamatti



7. What is your favorite pizza topping?
onions

9. Do you crack your knuckles?
sporatically

10. What song do you hate the most when it gets stuck in head?
my downstairs neighbor is a bitch

11. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?
she's crazy

12. What are your super powers?
the ability to blame anything on myself

13. Peppermint or spearmint?
yes

14. Where the fuck are your car keys?
probably with my car, wherever it is

15. Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?
mine, and mine

16. What's your most annoying habit?
annoying... to me or others? probably the same, drinking

17. Where did you last go on vacation?
breaux bridge

18. If you could punch one person in the nose and get away with it? sean hannity

19. What is your best physical feature?
boobies

20. What CD is closest to you right now?
burnside project

21. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?
water, diet something, spilled mystery liquid

22. What superstition do you believe/practice?
none

25. Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?
i don't do either, much less simultaneously

27. What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?
"my humps"

28. If you could go back or forward in time would you and when?
definitely go back in time, to fifth grade, assuming i could maintain my current knowledge

29. What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?
"the empire strikes back," although i don't like star wars. that one was a real downer, so i like it.

31. What OCD qualities do you have?
i wash my hands 20-30 times a day

32. How many kids do you want to have?
three, and i'd like to own some additional people

33. If you could kiss anyone famous who would it be?
judy dench

34. Would you really want to kiss someone you didn't know, even if they are famous?
even if they aren't

35. What do you do when no one is watching?
plenty -- noone is ever watching

36. If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would play you?
jared from the subway commercials

37. Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
blaze

38. What candy, from when you were a kid, do you miss the most?
astro pop

39. What is your favorite kids movie?
the goonies

40. Favorite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert?
duran duran

41. Have you ever been in love?
no

42. Do you talk to yourself?
for interesting conversation

43. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the face of the earth?
me, to see where i'd go

Friday, April 14, 2006

globule

here's a globule of posts from myspace i didn't post here.

while watching internet porn last night on a site called "8th street latinas" it occurred to me, what many coporatists have been saying lately may have credence -- mexicans really do take the jobs americans don't want. snap!

it's sad and funny to watch racist xenophobes rail against the corporatists who like slave labor, in regard to the immigration hoo-ha. personally i love mexicans and the latino community as a whole. with the possible exception of george lopez -- he's just not funny.

i saw a video clip on the news yesterday of anti-protest protesters lighting the mexican flag on fire, saying "burn baby burn." my jaw literally dropped (not unlike the girl from "8th street latinas"). if i had to pick a race to lambaste lately it would be white americans. we suck hard.


why are color commentators for men's sports always men and those of women's sports are usually women? i ask this after an enthralling afternoon of texas a & m and olklahoma women's softball yesterday.

side note -- the UL softball team is ranked 13th in the nation. is that anything?


my laughing buddha tchochke was destroyed this weekend by my cat, uber (borth pictured left). i was heartbroken. i was on my knees repeatedly yelling "there is no god! there is no god!" now i'm worshipping my statue of a non-laughing, more pensive version of buddha. it's not as cheery, but is on top of my television so i can meditate and watch "trading spouses" at the same time.

incidentally, if you're wondering, i don't actually worship anything or watch "trading spouses." also, you shouldn't have been wondering.


myspace has sucked me in, addict-style. i must be the myspace target market: people mesmerized by flashing monitors both at work and home, few real-life friends, a lacking social life, possible self-esteem issues, and a yearning for acceptance and validation from strangers. the "phillip mythos" i can portray on my profile enables me to highlight what i view are my finer points, in all my me-ness.

HOWEVER, i make great strides not to misrepresent myself. inaccurate portrayals on a profile eventually become apparent when you actually meet someone face-to-face, if that is your goal. you always reap what you sow.

i like meeting people from myspace. i'm not one for approaching strangers in bars (at which time noone is really themselves thanks to lady liquor) and frankly have no idea how anyone meets anyone else anymore. it reminds me of a great "seinfeld" quote:

GEORGE: I read somewhere that this Brentano's is the place to meet girls in New York.

JERRY: First it was the health club, then the supermarket, now the bookstore. They could put it anywhere they want, no one's meetin' anybody.

so is the myspace phenomenon something that comes with an embarrassing social stigma? when someone asks how you met person x and you say "on the internet" is it still like saying "i'm a loser who couldn't hack it socially in the non-virtual world?" i'm just trying to keep my finger on the pulse, out of my ass.

while i'm on the myspace topic, it's odd that my goal is to make friends and yet i'm continually trying to whittle down my "friends" list. it seems counterintuitive.


as passover nears my mind is naturally preoccupied with christian fervor. jesus is making a comeback y'all; a "resurrection," if you will. he will lower the price of gas to $10.00 a barrel. he will assist rappers in winning emmy's because they spend $50,000 on diamond-studded crucifixes. he will help football teams win superbowls. he will help chastity dunwoody of cotter, arkansas, win the state lottery and buy cigarettes and more scratch-offs. he will denounce love between anyone but a man and a woman; jesus' definition of love is conditional. he will assassinate hugo chavez, smite the wicked, and finally put an end to the oppression of christians, the scant 90%.

and is there anything more sinful and heavenly than a gigantic cadbury creme egg? methinks not. however the pro-life, anti-choice community reveres eggs of all kinds and must therefore picket the secularism of passover -- how many innocent ounces of cream filling must be aborted before we as a society wake up?. the damn chocolate bunnies and baskets and egg hunts for children. won't soemone please think of the children? why must the cadbury bunny cluck like a chicken? identity crisis? i'll tell you what that is, that thar goddamned rabbit's a homuhsexial, that's what. because as everyone knows, fags cluck.


i'm in the research and develpment phase of internalizing the belief that all people, regardless of gender and any preaching and renunciation of stereotypical attractions to the opposite sex, are at their base motivated first and foremeost by looks. they'll renounce assholes but continue to adore them (i really should have been a better wife, it's my fault). it especially holds true for men, moreso in fact (or at least not as well concealed), but only because it's par for the course for the typical manly-man to objectify women.

you have varying degress of resolve and standards about what you cllaim to be "looking for" in someone else, but most of it is inherent, instinctual lower-maslow-level desire for a suitable birth mate. in colloquial terms, self-aggrandizing horse shit. it undermines every notion of intellectiual progression that humanity has made in terms of relationships.

sex columnists are full of shit, enabling and placating people's desire, imbuing it with noble notions of depth and not being superficial. but the superficiality always lies just beneath the surface (pardon the pun), manipulating the behavior of all.

it's a psycopathic, perpetually horny hand up the puppet asses of every living creature.
adam smith recognized "the invisible hand of capitalism." i lay claim to "the invisible hand of human relationships."

as the famous philosopher master p said: "life ain't nothin' but bitches and money."


was anyone aware that christians are the new jews? i just heard about the attack on easter. what a savages nation. i never realized that the 85 hristian minority in this country was withstanding such persecutional onslaughts.

frankly i wasn't even aware that there were any christians left in this country. are they all in hiding? is this why they don't speak out? i am hereby starting a "save the christians" fund (tax-deductable, of course. checks payable to "cash").

dog bless bill o'reilly and tom delay and rick scarborough and james dobson for pioneering the "save christianity" movement. here's a protest picture of a handful of christians' futile attempts to stem persecution from the homosexual-dominated american majority:

before you know it the reference to "god" in the pledge of allegiance will be ousted. what then? one nation, under canada? concentration camps for christians and evangelicals? we have to stem the tide of secularism right now before we all start treating people as equals, respecting other religions, and, god forbid, embracing actual humanitarian efforts.

lest we want our children being taught that dinosaurs and humans did not co-exist, they'll grow up thinking that "the flintstones" is fiction. uh, yabba-dabba-DUH liberal jew media, the earth is olny 6,000 years old. get a bible-loving clue.

praise christ.


a wave of sociopathy just swept over me, exactly as they used to in lives past. my sociopathic tendencies used to be hard core in ye olden days, but since all the mood stabilizers i'm constantly on mitigate whatever inherent bete noires my physiology perpetuates, i'm happily ensconced in the middle, on the journey towards pastel averages.

i'd like a second opinion on this quote i heard the other day: "comedy is tragedy plus time." i guess it holds true for certain things, but no one rule can encompass the innumberable facets that go into comedy. anachronisms can be funny, sure. making fun of terri schiavo -- not so funny during the days leading up to her death (although i did dip into some pre-mortem humor, tactless bastard i am), but a year later, GOLD!

brecht. i grow acerbic of this journey; pondering, weak and weary.


maxim magazine sent me a free copy of their 100th issue, self-heralded as a "mind-altering special collector's edition." how could i not.

this is a men's magazine right? sort of a scaled-back playboy?

everyone in here is very shiny. lots of chicks in scant two-pieces and homosexual male models guised as metrosexuals. plenty of ads for cigarettes, chewing tobacco, alcohol and cologne. i picture broke college guys leafing through the magazine, rubbing cologne samples on their necks and pictures of jessica simpson on their crotches, all while pretending that $3.00 half-gallon of president's choice brand rum they're drinking is actually the new bacardi grandmelon.
just as all those thirtysomething iowa farmers' wives "sex and the city" die-hards watch the show thikning how much they have in common with carrie bradshaw and her fabulous, swinging, single, manhattan lifestyle.

why would one subscribe to maxim? i understand liking to look at hot ladies but doesn't everyone know there's free porn out there? moving pictures with sound. thanks internet.

maxim ---> garbage


a headline in the washington post today read "scores killed by quakes in iran." initially i thought it said "quakers" instead of "quakes" and wondered if somehow quakers were coerced by the bush administration into preemptively attacking iran. "there be weapons of mass idleness in iran there brothers -- time to raise a barn of pain and churn some chaos." it's sad those are the only things about quakers and the amish i know. also the no likey electricity.

incidentally how much will local radio stations play a flock of seagulls if we do publicly bomb iran? they love the obvious cheese of such jokes.

final four weekend: in another life i was an avid college basketball fan, now i'm not an avid anything. as usual i'm pulling for ucla to beat lsu just so the locals have to suck down some disappointment. yes i am that vindictive. if george mason was in my final four bracket a few weeks ago i'd be rolling around in uncut cocaine right now. but probably not. for now tony chachere's will have to do.

appropo of nothing (or everything), here are gandhi's eight sins:
  1. wealth without work
  2. pleasure without conscience
  3. commerce without morality
  4. worship without sacrifice
  5. politics without principle
  6. rights without responsibility
  7. knowledge without character
  8. science without humanity
giggedy giggedy, giggedy goo.


people en masse are oblivious to most things over four feet in front of and all things behind them. on maslow's hierarchy they are the lower-tier life-long revelers (thus the appeal of the lowest common denominator). they run on the wheel to get a pellet to run some more. just trees, no forests, no big pictures whatsoever. no sense of empathy or realization that differences in other humans exist arbitrarily in nature. dog forbid other people reside in the same planar world they do and may be affected by their running and pellet-eating, happy members of the ubiquitous ignorant fuckers association, for fuckers.

they're republicans, jocks, meatheads, elitists, c.e.o.'s, abramoffs, egotists, nurturing child impulses for revenge and possessions and one-upping everyone always just because. money and power aren't means to helping others, just ends in and of themselves. intellectual immaturity leaves their baser instincts free to run rampant and dictate their behavior, so they eschew compassion and thumb their noses at the poor and colored and blame them for being born poor and colored. get off your lazy ass and get a job, go back to mexico amigo.

the fervor perpetuates itself because it's easy; it requires no effort or sacrifice from anyone to blame wrongs on the wronged. it's easy to provoke a fight in the desert and send other people's family to back up your grandstanding with their lives. who wouldn't want such luxury? who wouldn't want the silver spoon birth? the view is great from the hijacked moral high ground.

look at the pyramid. how can that bulbous bottom level not cause me to be pessimistic? why does it have to get narrower towards the top? if there were a divine creator why would he/she/it/oprah have made it so?

i'm bitter. i need to stop reading local letters to the editor. fucking neanderthals. fuck them right in their cro-magnon asses.


i'm having odd cravings for licorice jelly beans and old tom and jerry cartoons, despite despising both. maybe the mind needs a refresher now and then of why it likes and dislikes certain things, especially with alcohol-addled brains like mine. dammit brain, why can't you repress the traumatic and highlight the instances, existent or non-, of personal resounding glory (because pinky, we're trying to take over the world)? fuck.

i watched a great woody allen movie (redundant) yesterday called "anything else." as of now i'm in the process of renting every woody allen movie via lackluster online. i am a woody allen fan. why only now? i don't know.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

let my pickles go

every time i go to wal-mart i leave with a sore throat. my theory is that i arbitrarily hold my breath around alot of the patrons without noticing. also wal-mart just sucks the life out of everything. pushing a cart up/down aisles made me want to xanax myself into a coma and smoke my way to blacklung.

why all the fluorescents? cheaper? it seems most businesses use them -- to stem relaxation in employees/customers? blimey.

easter is coming, easter is coming! everyone smear blood over your doors so the ghost of charlton heston won't kill your first born son with a shotgun (it's his right as an american dammit).

i was once catholic. waking up on easter morning to find a basket of candy and accoutrement was the bee's knees. going to church thereafter was not. the same held true for christmas mornings -- you wake up to a bevy of new presents and can't open them until after a six-hour church service. not really six hours, but a child's well of patience does not spring eternal, so it seemed so.

my conclusion: chocolate jesus much better than cardboard communion jesus.

masses during easter and christmas are hilarious. people who only go to church on the highest of holies never know when to stand/sit/kneel. it's so awkward. i may attend easter mass this weekend just for the entertainment. protly not though.

the reading of "the passion" is funny too. the congregation passively mumbling "crucify him, crucify him" would make baby mel gibson cry. lots of going through the motions, which ostensibly is what organized religion is anyway.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

still bloggin'

i do still blog, just not here. i'm addicted to myspace -- http://blog.myspace.com/18410551

i got tired of posting in two places at once.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

join the resistance: fall in love

i read this on crimethinc.com (thanks jenny) and it's profoundly affecting me, i think:

Join the Resistance: Fall in Love

Falling in love is the ultimate act of revolution, of resistance to today's tedious, socially restrictive, culturally constrictive, humanly meaningless world.

Love transforms the world. Where the lover formerly felt boredom, he now feels passion. Where she once was complacent, she now is excited and compelled to self-asserting action. The world which once seemed empty and tiresome becomes filled with meaning, filled with risks and rewards, with majesty and danger. Life for the lover is a gift, an adventure with the highest possible stakes; every moment is memorable, heartbreaking in its fleeting beauty. When he falls in love, a man who once felt disoriented, alienated, and confused will know exactly what he wants. Suddenly his existence will make sense to him; suddenly it becomes valuable, even glorious and noble, to him. Burning passion is an antidote that will cure the worst cases of despair and resigned obedience.

Love makes it possible for individuals to connect to others in a meaningful way—it impels them to leave their shells and risk being honest and spontaneous together, to come to know each other in profound ways. Thus love makes it possible for them to care about each other genuinely, rather than at the end of the gun of Christian doctrine. But at the same time, it plucks the lover out of the routines of everyday life and separates her from other human beings. She will feel a million miles away from the herd of humanity, living as she is in a world entirely different from theirs.

In this sense love is subversive, because it poses a threat to the established order of our modern lives. The boring rituals of workday productivity and socialized etiquette will no longer mean anything to a man who has fallen in love, for there are more important forces guiding him than mere inertia and deference to tradition. Marketing strategies that depend upon apathy or insecurity to sell the products that keep the economy running as it does will have no effect upon him. Entertainment designed for passive consumption, which depends upon exhaustion or cynicism in the viewer, will not interest him.

There is no place for the passionate, romantic lover in today's world, business or private. For he can see that it might be more worthwhile to hitchhike to Alaska (or to sit in the park and watch the clouds sail by) with his sweetheart than to study for his calculus exam or sell real estate, and if he decides that it is, he will have the courage to do it rather than be tormented by unsatisfied longing. He knows that breaking into a cemetery and making love under the stars will make for a much more memorable night than watching television ever could. So love poses a threat to our consumer-driven economy, which depends upon consumption of (largely useless) products and the labor that this consumption necessitates to perpetuate itself.

Similarly, love poses a threat to our political system, for it is difficult to convince a man who has a lot to live for in his personal relationships to be willing to fight and die for an abstraction such as the state; for that matter, it may be difficult to convince him to even pay taxes. It poses a threat to cultures of all kinds, for when human beings are given wisdom and valor by true love they will not be held back by traditions or customs which are irrelevant to the feelings that guide them.

Love even poses a threat to our society itself. Passionate love is ignored and feared by the bourgeoisie, for it poses a great danger to the stability and pretense they covet. Love permits no lies, no falsehoods, not even any polite half-truths, but lays all emotions bare and reveals secrets which domesticated men and women cannot bear. You cannot lie with your emotional and sexual response; situations or ideas will excite or repel you whether you like it or not, whether it is polite or not, whether it is advisable or not. One cannot be a lover and a (dreadfully) responsible, (dreadfully) respectable member of today's society at the same time; for love will impel you to do things which are not "responsible" or "respectable." True love is irresponsible, irrepressible, rebellious, scornful of cowardice, dangerous to the lover and everyone around her, for it serves one master alone: the passion that makes the human heart beat faster. It disdains anything else, be it self-preservation, obedience, or shame. Love urges men and women to heroism, and to antiheroism—to indefensible acts that need no defense for the one who loves.

For the lover speaks a different moral and emotional language than the typical bourgeois man does. The average bourgeois man has no overwhelming, smoldering desires. Sadly, all he knows is the silent despair that comes of spending his life pursuing goals set for him by his family, his educators, his employers, his nation, and his culture, without ever being able to even consider what needs and wants he might have of his own. Without the burning fire of desire to guide him, he has no criteria upon which to choose what is right and wrong for himself. Consequently he is forced to adopt some dogma or doctrine to direct him through his life. There are a wide variety of moralities to choose from in the marketplace of ideas, but which morality a man buys into is immaterial so long as he chooses one because he is at a loss otherwise as to what he should do with himself and his life. How many men and women, having never realized that they had the option to choose their own destinies, wander through life in a dull haze thinking and acting in accordance with the laws that have been taught to them, merely because they no longer have any other idea of what to do? But the lover needs no prefabricated principles to direct her; her desires identify what is right and wrong for her, for her heart guides her through life. She sees beauty and meaning in the world, because her desires paint the world in these colors. She has no need for dogmas, for moral systems, for commandments and imperatives, for she knows what to do without instructions.

Thus she does indeed pose quite a threat to our society. What if everyone decided right and wrong for themselves, without any regard for conventional morality? What if everyone did whatever they wanted to, with the courage to face any consequences? What if everyone feared loveless, lifeless monotony more than they fear taking risks, more than they fear being hungry or cold or in danger? What if everyone set down their "responsibilities" and "common sense," and dared to pursue their wildest dreams, to set the stakes high and live each day as if it were the last? Think what a place the world would be! Certainly it would be different than it is now—and it is quite a truism that people from the "mainstream," the simultaneous keepers and victims of the status quo, fear change.

And so, despite the stereotyped images used in the media to sell toothpaste and honeymoon suites, genuine passionate love is discouraged in our culture. Being "carried away by your emotions" is frowned upon; instead we are raised to always be on our guard lest our hearts lead us astray. Rather than being encouraged to have the courage to face the consequences of risks taken in pursuit of our hearts' desires, we are counseled not to take risks at all, to be "responsible." And love itself is regulated. Men must not fall in love with other men, nor women with other women, nor individuals from different ethnic backgrounds with each other, or else the usual bigots who form the front-line offensive in the assault of modern Western culture upon the individual will step in. Men and women who have already entered into a legal/religious contract with each other are not to fall in love with anyone else, even if they no longer feel any passion for their marital partner. Love as most of us know it today is a carefully prescribed and preordained ritual, something that happens on Friday nights in expensive movie theaters and restaurants, something that fills the pockets of the shareholders in the entertainment industries without preventing workers from showing up to the office on time and ready to reroute phone calls all day long. This regulated, commercial "love" is nothing like the passionate, burning love that consumes the genuine lover. These restrictions, expectations, and regulations smother true love; for love is a wild flower that can never grow within the confines prepared for it but only appears where it is least expected.

We must fight against these cultural restraints that would cripple and smother our desires. For it is love that gives meaning to life, desire that makes it possible for us to make sense of our existence and find purpose in our lives. Without these, there is no way for us to determine how to live our lives, except to submit to some authority, to some god, master or doctrine that will tell us what to do and how to do it without ever giving us the satisfaction that self-determination does. So fall in love today, with men, with women, with music, with ambition, with yourself. . . with life!

One might say that it is ridiculous to implore others to fall in love—one either falls in love or one does not, it is not a choice that can be made consciously. Emotions do not follow the instructions of the rational mind. But the environment in which we must live out our lives has a great influence on our emotions, and we can make rational decisions that will affect this environment. It should be possible to work to change an environment that is hostile to love into an environment that will encourage it. Our task must be to engineer our world so that it is a world in which people can and do fall in love, and thus to reconstitute human beings so that we will be ready for the "revolution" spoken of in these pages—so that we will be able to find meaning and happiness in our lives.

What if everyone decided right and wrong for themselves, without any regard for conventional morality? What if everyone did whatever they wanted to, with the courage to face any consequences? What if everyone feared loveless, lifeless monotony more than they fear taking risks, more than they fear being hungry or cold or in danger? What if everyone set down their "responsibilities" and "common sense," and dared to pursue their wildest dreams, to set the stakes high and live each day as if it were the last? Think what a place the world would be!