Tuesday, May 02, 2006

go north, young man (a.k.a. imitation of life)

new yawk! soon you will have my man-stink all over you. i'm apprehensive that it'll be drug that i'll actually get addicted to, having had to suffer in south louisiana and it's frankly LAME music scene the better part of my life. by "better" i mean "majority." my existence here for the most part has been a metaphoric beat-down with a box of tide.

which sounds odd coming off of a festival weekend in which i thoroughly enjoyed myself.

but the whole acadiana cajun culture ethos and it's supposed "joi de vivre" has never worked for me (and i'm not convinced that the portrayed local hospitality isn't just a marketing scam to boost tourism).

i loathe zydeco more than lupus, which i've never had, but would RATHER have than suffer through zydeco. hospitality associated with cajuns is crap. based on my experiences with south louisiana locals i find them to be, largely, retarded and ignorant.

not necessarily is it just a matter of heritage. i've written posts-a-plenty involving nature v. nurture issues (sounds like a supreme court case) and that blaming flaws in your character/behavior on chemical imbalances and mommy not loving you / daddy being a racist only excuse you to a point.

my mother's maiden name was desormeaux. i've spent the vast majority of my existence here (michael stipe and co. would call it an "imitation of life"). i have no accent, i'm not an ignorant redneck racist (unless my self-evaluative acumen is way off), i've never been mud-ridin', i don't hunt/fish (admittedly not exclusive to louisiana), and i think the smell of a crawfish boil is the most heinous experience a person could go through. again, i'd rather have lupus.

the attitudes and shortcomings aren't rampant in necessarily everyone in the area. there are no blanket rules. but there are VERY prominent trends.

point being: i don't belong. at the moment my dilemma with relocating is simply logistical. i say "simply" when it couldn't be more of a complicated and seemingly impossible pain in the posterior.

i have a handful of decent friends here whom i'd miss. but i'd hate to look back on my life down the road and harbor nothing but lament that i did a mellencamp-style born/lived/died in a small town thing.

or maybe i'd be just as miserable anywhere. happiness is supposed to come from within. mine could use some help climbing out though and maybe a change of scenery would do just that.

currently listening to:
rock kills kid
are you nervous (2006)


Ian McGibboney said...

I feel your pain, bro. What you've outlined is just the tip of the iceberg, too. Hope you find happiness somewhere. I'm still looking as well.

d said...

Have yet to decide if happiness can be found. But changes of Venue are always a positive experience. Thinking of a big move myself, from the bread basket of Republicrat land to either Chicago, where I once lived, or Eugene, where I have yet to live.

The city or the Coast its a hard choice.

NY is okay. I grew up in South Jersey - have more feelings for Philly.