daze of malaise

so i know i've been a total bastard about writing. i was out of town, in texas of all places, which can really be confusing. days in texas to me feel like some sort of twilight-zone story where it's daytime all the time, and days and weeks and months and years have no relevance. it's just this blazing expansive brightness all the time. and it occurred to me that the idea of texas is just to make everything big. all the stores and homes are so spread out. it takes 30 minutes to get anywhere. it's miserable.

i did end up skipping my family thanksgiving celebration at my uncle's house. i stayed home eating potato chips and watching a james bond marithon. i don't even care for james bond that much, there was just nothing else on. come to think of it i don't really like potato chips either.

and now xmas is coming and i'm not in the mood for it. it's too much of an assault on the senses. and i have to go back to tx on the 20th. i get to help my father lay down plumbing for their new house. guess how much i'm looking forward to that. it gets harder and harder to be around my parents. it's really draining.

album du jour: breakbeat era ultra-obscene

this link takes you to the mtv.com bio about breakbeat era. it was the best i could find.

shoot dang

today my pa and i trapsed all over the san antonio area visiting home depot, a tile shop, a flatbed trailer for sale on the side of the road, and my uncle's new house addition, still under construction. all in all, it was an extremely boring and exhausting day. however i did get to spend time with my dad, which makes it all more than worth it.

we're supposed to go to my uncle's thrusday for a big family thanksgiving.... fest, but i believe i'm going to fein an illness to avoid the whole thing. i'm extremely down on social gatherings of any kind at the moment, especially ones where family members who haven't seen you in a while individually ask you how you've been, where you're working, what's new, and other questions which i'd rather not answer once, much less repeatedly. i think i'd rather come across as being rude than a deadbeat, so truancy is alright with me. plus i could put on my own thanksgiving extravaganza here by myself involving me lying like a beached whale in front of the tv eating doritos off my own gut.

album du jour: curve come clean

well yippee yi yo kayay. the flight was fine, although i am currently bored out of my mind. i have to accompany my father to home depot, of all places, to pick up tile. that is about the most comprehensively depressing sentence i've ever heard.

yesterday was a nice day for a white wedding. boring trip, as expected. got drunk, as expected. new orleans is a toilet.

and now tomorrow i have to go to texas. i don't like texas. i don't care if it is god's country.

bullshit pandering

wasn't it great to see that at least the british aren't so lethargic or backwards-opinionated that they can't protest enmasse when our grand president comes a-callin. i wish more americans cared about our government the way the brits do. "this bush is no more.....it has ceased to be!"

my parents are flying in tomorrow evening. hopefully i can wrangle some new clothes out of mother. she loves to bribe me for my attention. and if anyone else wants to do the same, i shan't complain. actually my cousin is getting married in new orleans saturday, and when you think about it the whole wedding concept is just one big bribe - we bribe the couple for free food and drink by showing up, and in some cases giving gifts (and giving it six months), and they bribe use with food and wine so that their half of the church fills out and they don't look like losers. how sentimental am i.

the only thing i'm looking forward to is drinking to the happy couple. i'm feeling so generous i may drink to several happy (or unhappy) couples. especially those recent ones in massachussetts. it makes my heart smile to see jerry fallwell squirm.

album du jour: medicine the mechanical forces of love

medicine's new singer, shannon lee, is the daughter of bruce lee. and their original singer, annette zalinskas, was a member of the bangles way back when. i'm a useless fact monger.

gal-dern

when i'm doing my daily walking i have all these great thoughts to write down on here, and i try to make mental notes so i can remember them, but it's all an exercise in futility (the only real exercise i ever get). i really wonder how many brain cells i've killed over the years from the drinking, etc. i used to have a great memory.

speaking of drinking, i saw a commercial last night for those hangover pills that you're supposed to take before you go to bed after a drinking night, and supposedly you'll wake up hangover-free. but the problem i see with these is trifold: one, if i'm fucked up is there any chance i'm going to remember to take one? two, what drunk person has such keen dexterity that they can hang on to a very small pill long enough to get it into their mouth (unless the name of the piill ends in -xycontin or -alium or -anax...)? and three, if i took one while completely sober would i get drunk? that last one is inane, but i needed another bullet point so i could use the word "trifold" (i also considered "three-pronged"). and i feel my opinion on this matter should count, as i am the textbook definition of "target market".

next week i will be in san antonio visiting my parents et. al. family for the thanksgiving holiday. i think when i'm in texas i'm going to blog as a country boy. my nom-de-plume will be bill-bob dinkford (unless someone has a better one). i will not be listening to country music. san antonio is really more of a salsa area anyway.

i won't listen to salsa either.

album du jour: medicine her highness

this is only the second of the week. two more up and coming. just freaking fantastic.

wish i could score with hawk girl

you know it's almost impossible to have an original thought these days. everything, no matter how revolutionary or innovative you think it may be, has been done or thought of somewhere. and in most cases many many times. what a depressing thought. my personality and life is just a big amalgomation of cliches. i could do something really outlandish or extreme now and then....but someone has assuredly done it before, and probably even taken it further.

walking today i noticed that one of our neighbors has an astounding FIVE trash cans. i really wish i had my camera with me to share this with everyone (i'm getting one soon), because their yard could not have been more strewn with garbage. not a single one of the trash cans was even close to full capacity ( i couldn't even see garbage in a few of them, not that i stopped and made close examinations). what a nice example to explain irony to the lower classes.

then this little kid came to show me his incredible hulk action figure. it was kind of grotesque (and the toy was ugly too.....OH! SNAP! ETC.!).

i don't normally watch cartoons, but i caught the justice league on cartoon network last night, and there was this great line where hawk girl, mace in hand, flew at a creature to attack it and yelled "hawk girl smash!" it made me laugh, plus it could be a good band name.

album du jour: snowdonnas over now

flower child

ever notice how anytime people go on vacation they always use the saying "what happens in xxxxxx stays in xxxxxx". that really annoys me. it seems like just a jackass excuse people use to be sluts on vacation. again, too much tv for me.

i've actually been doing alot of yardwork this week. not just cutting the grass, which is surprisingly satisfying, but also digging up weeds in the flower beds and just some all-around grooming. aren't i the man-man. nothing more masculine than coddling your azaleas.

i woke up early to vote today, even though i doubt any of the people i voted for are going to win. still, i believe in the whole civic duty concept, so i had sort of a moral obligation.

album du jour: medicine the buried life

i just ordered about four cd's of medicine so i may be listing alot of them in the upcoming days. if my bloody valentine and curve had sex and produced offspring this is what they'd sound like.

wah sohhhh

i haven't laughed so hard in such a long time as i did while watching most extreme elmination challenge tonight. it's a stupid japanese stunt show, but sooo hilarious. my throat hurts from gafawing.

my cat seems hell-bent on being very obtrusive. she's trying to settle in between my arms while i'm typing on my computer. what an attention whore.

speaking of which, some of you may have noticed i've whored myself out a bit as well (notice the ads?). what can i say, i have to finance my every-growing liquid drano addiction.

my personality and the lifestyle to which i am accustomed are not conducive to working a nine-to-five job for little money and less appreciation.

and hey hey, le tigre is on last call tonight with will ferrell....that just makes my weekend.

album du jour: centro-matic love you just the same

mele Kalikimaka

this morning (afternoon really, my relative morning) i tried a can of red bull energy drink. it did not give me wings. it gave me a stomach ache. probably just as well though, as one can costs two dollars. i bet it would go well with vodka (what doesn't????).

i've noticed some other people have these lists of 100 interesting facts about themselves on their blogs. i've been thinking about doing it, although i have no idea whether or not i could make it to 100. i may comprise several different lists actually. i already have my depressing things going, then i may do the above-mentioned, and maybe a list of my 100 favorite albums. that would have to be an ever-changing lexicon though (the list is alive. and i think thursdays for me are now going to be shoegaze days and fridays are eighties days. although i'm not sure about this--i've not been a fan of theme days in the past. i had a bad experience once with a hawaiian shirt once (hey that could be interesting fact #1). i don't want to talk about it.

really i should make an entire page dedicated to shoegazing. at least for myself.

album du jour: cranes tragedy of orestes and electra

i need to stop spending money, i'm on a one-way road to nomoneyville (which i believe is in wisconsin somewhere). wish there wasn't so much goddam good music to buy. actually if i'm wishing for stuff i wish i had more money.

this is no novel idea

it is much easier to write about the negative. no news like bad news, misery loves company, on and on. when nothing terrible is going on all you have is the hum-drum minutia of everyday life, and it's problematic when blogging (for me anyway) because who really wants to read about a paper cut or stepping in dog shit. my stream of consciousness (goddam james joyce) then makes me wonder whether i write for myself or the reader(s) (a tad conceited of me to add that -s no?). but isn't that human nature - to seek the approval of others. maybe that's my stream of subconsciousness (suck on it joyce) rearing its ugly head. acquiescence sucks ass (try saying "acquiescence sucks ass" out loud - it's almost pretty).

album du jour: laika wherever i am i am what is missing

if you haven't seen bowling for columbine i would really recommend it. maybe my favorite movie i've seen in 2003 (although it came out in 2002).

it's going to rain. i need to cut the grass (and perhaps kick ass). i just know i'm going to step in dog shit. probably more than once. you'd think i'd be used to stepping in it by now. maybe afterward i'll open mouth and insert foot....what a lovely thought.

i received an e-card (or so i was lead to believe) from an anonymous admirer. i have a strong hunch though that i am being romanced by a marketing company. ah well, beggars can't be choosers (oh marketing company! that's it marketing company!! do it to me marketing company! yes yes yes!).

(un?)common denominators

i'm so weak. i have been sucked in. all i wanted to do was see what was on. flipping channels...i do it all the time. now i can't stop watching average joe on nbc, and i either completely hate myself or completely hate everybody else in the world (you too), or maybe i love everything (you too) like i'm on ecstacy. something is just not right with the universe tonight. what am i saying, when is everything right with the universe.

on the positive side i did get to see the eclipse.

album du jour: swervedriver mezcal head

i'm trying to go to bed without the aid of antihistamines and it just isn't working. maybe i'll stay awake all night so i can watch mystery science theater in the morning. i forget what time it comes on.

disgruntled icarus

occasionally on a quiet weekend night such as tonight i wonder how many people out there are making that double-backed beast simultaneously. kind of a peculiar musing right? it strikes me every now and then, and at best it's a fleeting thought (except of course when i have the inclination to write about it and immortalize it forever on a computer server somewhere). it has no effect on my mental state either way (believe it or not). human nature it is, yadda blah womp. anyway, just a thought.

i hope i can see the lunar eclipse tomorrow night. the lunars are always so much better than the solars. i think solar eclipses are the bastards of the eclipse world. fucking sun.

album du jour: enon high society

posthumous post

it's actually friday when i'm writing this...thinking of something noteworthy to mention about thursday. i spent all day pretty much downloading hotfixes and patches and service packs for my computer that i've been putting off forever. not sure why i was dreading it... but it's done.

thinking about buying a digital camera. just something cheap. my friend just bought a webcam and i was chatting with her yesterday while looking at her simultaneously. not a novel idea, but new to me. i initially wanted to get one too, but then i thought, do i really want people looking at me while i'm on here. i'd end up forgetting it was on and then molesting myself for all to see. and that just wouldn't be good for anyone.

album du jour: some girls feel it

juliana hatfield and frieda love from the blake babies reformed to make some girls with heidi glick (bass, formerly of the pieces). and if you don't know of the blake babies, well, my god.

spin city

while watching rich girls earlier on mtv (not proud of it, but at least applaud my honesty) i had a great idea for a freind of mine and i to make our own tv show called poor old dudes. instead of riding around in a limo, they could film us pushing his car down the road after it stalls. and come with us to goodwill as we look for clothes that could pass for semi-new (as opposed to the 5th avenue ventures of the rich girls). and also, instead of having our own private catered parties, we could be shown trying to get buzzed on cheap vodka before going to a no-cover bar with $1.00 bourbon (even though we sneak our own liquor in with small flasks). or us fucked up at 3 in the morning trying to make a meal out of whole wheat tortillas and ice cubes. perhaps a condiment or two. and our big drama scenes would involve us fighting over the last chalupa we saved up for from taco bell. yeah.

album du jour: tahiti 80 puzzle

do people with confederate flags on their pick-up trucks even vote???

stupefied, arbitrary and capricious

i've been rather busy all day with some entrepeneurial ventures, so i'm mentally drained at present. i will need napping soon. there should be a really entertaining debate tonight on cnn, as long as the posers don't ask stupid underwear-related questions. right now i'm rooting for sharpton. why the hell not.

my mp3 player came in the mail, sans ac adapter. i had a gut-wrenching conversation with an asian customer service rep concerning ordering another one. merd. i only mention the fact that she was asian because of the implied communication problems, not because i am an a-hole. i've heard there's enough anti-semitic sentiment going around at the moment anyway. peace and love, peace and love.

big day tomorrow. i am reborn anew (redundancey is intentional here) in my own being, hypothetically.

album du jour: teenage fanclub four thousand seven hundred and sixty-six seconds: a short cut to teenage fanclub

on principle i am against all greatest hits collections, but if you've never listened to teenage fanclub then i guess this is a good start. there are also 3 new ones that i thought were fab.

and how about dressy bessy on last call friday night...i love it when bands who are performing live really and truly exude this pure joy when they play. you can see which ones absolutely love their craft and wouldn't rather be doing anything else in the world. you could pick up on that from dressy bessy. and that tammy ealom...she could reeeeallly teach me a thing or two or twenty.

dark coupon

what does it mean to do things in moderation. hypothetically, if i avoided all things i considered to be exterme--the highs and lows of life--would i be happier? i hear people all the time say that moderation is key to happiness, but isn't it all relative? for instance, right now i either go out acting super-social and drink until i can't feel feelings, or i sit alone in my room, blinds drawn, without human contact and don't drink at all. therein lies a high and low for me. let's say there is someone else, a thirty-something married woman who regularly has trite dinner parties with her husband and a few other thirty-something couples on a weekly basis (they probably even have some anal rotating schedule worked out as to whose house they meet at each week). she doesn't get too drunk, if at all, partakes in conversations about danielle steele or window treatments (which would absolutely give me a nosebleed) and goes home at 9:30 or so. on a regular day she may have a glass or highball of something with dinner, or right after work, or whatever. and that's it. her high is a few drinks with friends weekly, and her low one or two daily.

what i'm thinking about in all this is whether imaginary lady dervies more overall happiness from her life of lower highs and higher lows than i do from my current existence comprised of spuradic binges of indulgence (high highs) and hibernation periods (low lows). and really, after all is said and done and you've grown accustomed to one lifestyle or the other, isn't it all just relative good or bad? wouldn't everything just average out?

i'm trying to contort my afforementioned lifestyle into more of a balanced one, closer to but by no means exactly like my example woman (i'd kill myself if i turned into a pastel asshat like that. i could get a part on friends though). i think this is what i hope to achieve by revamping my approach(es) to life and further honing of my societal acumen--happiness and/or contentment through relative moderation. it sounds a bit drab when posed that way. it won't be drab though because i could never tolerate being drab. the world has enough pastel asshats drinking starbucks and shopping with an ikia catalog.

album du jour: the shins chutes too narrow

this lp is almost brazen when compared with their former effort, but still great. the first track kind of floored me actually. bless their hearts.

"Thanks, Joe. Summit, New Jersey was 'burning with boredom now' until you and others reached into it so long ago and saved me from the inertia of typical expectations. And thank fuck for that."

Joe Strummer 1952-2002