Friday, March 04, 2005

the tenets of phizzics

so sayeth phizz, go forth and bestow upon the worldly ignorami the knowledge and principles contained herein:
  • "ignorami" is a word, so says i
  • be courteous, offer the reach-around
  • sleep, procrastinate, debase thyself, and be otherwise lazy
  • exercise is evil - your body is only to provide you with pleasure
  • drink everything
  • physical consciousness is the hobgoblin of worker bees
  • let thine freak flag fly
  • republicans are bizzarro samaritans
  • organized religion hath given "god" a bad name
  • xanax is the phizznit
  • the beast with two backs is goodly and godly
  • question everything, help everyone, be free of want
  • rest thine lips upon my cockles
  • humility is the essence of cool
  • hubris will come around to bite thine ass
  • thou art forever significant, and unique
  • a rich man (woman) is an evil man (woman)
  • make fuck, not war
  • paris hilton will die painfully and alone
  • give head til it hurts
  • productivity is for losers
  • cornhole not lest ye be cornholed
  • this, above all, to thine own self sniff glue
  • reality tv - whiskey tango foxtrot
  • self-awareness is the essence of phizzics

now, memorize and practice this lexicon, loyal followers. the path to true righteousness lies in contextual morality and altruism. and my pants.

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