Monday, March 14, 2005

j to the c

why don't more people name their children jesus? latinos, spanish, mexicans, and puerto ricans (is there a p.c. term that encompasses all of these?) do it, but why not white christians? they name their kids after apostles and saints from the bible, but never jesus. why not? you'd think naming your child after your saviour would be a living testament, but i've never heard of a white person named jesus.

i would like to be able to call someone and say "jeeheeeeesuusss what's up". take jesus on a skiing trip - watch him wakeboard on water. play softball with him, and when he makes an error scream "dammit jesus!". other fun things:
  • what the hell, jesus?
  • for christ's sake jesus!
  • "jesus" on speed-dial
  • (probably already exists)
  • to: jesus from: santa
  • jesus is having trouble sharing with the other children
  • going to see mel gibson's the passion with jesus
  • getting jesus to carry you on the beach, leaving one set of footprints (postcard possibilities abound)
  • jesus: "i can't spend money on you because jesus saves"
  • no jesus, it's not you it's me
  • me: "oh god" jesus "yeesssssss?"
  • all work and no play makes jesus a dull boy
  • what if jesus grew up to be a pagan? or gay?
  • jesus, hit this

so that's my contribution to blasphemy this week.

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