Tuesday, March 01, 2005

fight for your right to potty

heysoose h. christ i am sleepy. i slept from 6:00 yesterday to almost 7 this morning and i'm still wiped. it's probably the weekend alcohol and related activities (llamas, plungers, gas masks, the usual weekend fare) that are just catching up with me. and it's all exacerbated by my having a buttload of menial work to do today. intense malaise my friends, intense malaise.

if, however, i were to look on the positive side of things (which i am not apt to do) i could take some solace in my nice little xanax hangover, and also that george bush's support for his social security plan has dipped to 38%. that george, what a mischievous little scallawag he is.

other great nuggets from the poll:
  • 47% of those polled trusted the democratic party to deal with the issue of social security benefits, while 37% trusted republicans
  • 75% held a favorable opinion of the aarp, which has taken a lead role in opposing the president's plan.
  • 87% had doubts that the president would be able to find his own ass with two hands and a flashlight
  • 31% said they'd choose death-by-guillotine for paris hilton, while 69% preferred some sort of venereal disease
  • 53% considered math a "theory", while 45% said it was fact. 2% wrote in the answer "derp"

does the social security issue bore you? well, asshole, it's going to be todays 20 to 40 year-olds who are going to get butt-fucked by our beloved ever-braying jackass president's "plan". that's right - i'm going to get raped when i go senile (which should be a pretty smooth transition for me). i want to have good drugs when i get old! i want sponge baths and catheters! daytime television dammit! food i don't have to chew!

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