i saw something horrible last night. it was a burger king commercial featuring hootie (sans the blowfish) as a gay cowboy, singing "big rock candy mountain" (bluegrass song that i know from o brother where art thou) with new and incredibly lame lyrics touting a sandwich. there were dallas cowboy cheerleaders, milk maids, roads made of styrofoam cheese, and brooke burke. i thought i was on acid (i WISHED i was on acid).
i haven't eaten at burger king in four years, but the commercials are really freaking me out. there was the one with the fake plastic king that was... strange. it made me want to lock my doors and destroy all my dolls, not eat a burger.
i don't have dolls. who said i did? they're goddamned liars.
but i think the crazy hootie-the-blowfish homo cowboy ad is worse than the plastic king one. it's like something doctor moreau would have put together if he worked in marketing.