Friday, February 25, 2005

blog bitchtastic

itchy red swollen blog irritations:

ass-kissing in comments: this doesn't happen in mine, obviously, but alot of others. if your comment is solely "your blog is so great, you are so great, it's all just so great!" and has nothing to contribute to the topic du jour, then please save it. including kudos along with a content-related comment is fine, but don't kiss ass just to get readers. it irks me to read comments from people with 14-year-old mentalities evidencing how much they like licking the writer's asshole.

first comment dickheads: i hate it when people leave the first comment after a post and say "haha i'm first blah blah blah". fucking children.

please add me to your blogroll: don't ask me this. it wreaks of desperation, and i'll never be able to read your blog afterwards without thinking about what a chode you are. just because you added me doesn't mean i'm going to peremptorily add you, nor would i expect you to add me because i added you.

putting myriad pictures of yourself in posts: how narcissistic can you be? don't you know that the commenter that says "oh i like how your purse matches your new hair color" really means "i want to put a baby in that"? if guys (and girls, to a lesser extent) seem to make an objective, non-creepy comment about your picture, you can pretty much assume that they're really only thinking about jumping your ignorant bones. but if you need that kind of cheap flattery then i guess it's up to you.

excessive use of the words "rant" and "ramble": i wonder what percentage of blogs out there have those words in their title. i wonder how many people a day apologize at the end of their post for "rambling on" for too long. i wonder why someone would feel compelled to apologize for something they've written. i wonder how many of your readers require you to say "i'm sorry" for writing a lenghty post. i wonder if there are any synonyms for "rant" and "ramble".

convoluted templates: i don't want to have to put too much effort in trying to figure out where your posts are. trying to read a yellow font on a white background hurts me. remember - just because you CAN put a million different bells and whistles on your site doesn't mean you should. less is more.

sorry for the rant. dull axes of yours?

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