january has been such a vapid emotional wasteland. i'm not happy or sad, the weather isn't hot or cold or sunny or cloudy or rainy or dry, and sometimes i'm not sure if i'm awake or asleep. like now, for instance. i went out friday night, but i don't know if i had a good time or bad. i think i saw a mouse in my house the other day, and maybe i don't care. my apartment isn't dirty, but not exactly clean. today is sunday - the no-man's-land day of the week. and i don't know if i want to write or not. so blame january.