you damn kids!

birthdays buh-loowwww. the higher the number the more quickly the years pass, so now it's just a slippery slope to bed sores and catheters. although not having to get up to piss is good. i should start planning for what to do in lieu of social security, since by the time my generation gets to that point our current president will have spent so much that the s.s. eligibilty age will be 105.

but i live in LA, the cancer belt of the nation. i'll probably get cancer or have s stroke before i get anywhere remotely close to retirement. if i were a cop i would definitely get killed my last day on the job. even if i were just a traffic cop, or a mall security guard (i am, none other than, la fours).



check out the mad paint skills suck-a-duck.

me, old: sitting on my tiny front porch all day drinking alka-seltzer, just waiting to cut up any nerf balls that come into my yard. i'll be putting out flaming bags of shit with my shoes and constantly picking up toilet paper. but yeah, that catheter will be great.

album of the jour: felix da housecat devin dazzle & the neon fever