essen this

for reasons unknown the german city "schtutgart" has been going through my mind repeatedly over the past two days. i can't stop thinking and saying schtutgart... schtutgart.... schtutgart.... it's really a fabulous word to say. does it make me a fascist because i find the german language amusing? because i like sauerbraten and husky frauleins and beer in the morning? does this make me a subconscious nazi? yes, yes it does. it also makes me an alcoholic, but only when i drink.

but have you ever seen german porn? it's blooming hysterical! every german phrase that i know has been derived from german porn (all i really need to know i learned on leckenmeinskrotum.com? my new book...). you may have to babelfish that one. if your mind is twisted and remotely imaginative then you probably won't.

there's a foreign language teaching method our educational system may have overlooked - learning through porn (one plus one... plus one... plus a llama... equals... hump-backed babies?). it's all about peaking the interest of todays youth and tomorrow's scheizer essers.

remember that tool* song off of aenima that sounded like some sort of raging hitler youth rally, all in german, that was supposedly just a recipe for waffles? remember that? yeah.

*i do not now like nor ever have liked tool. way back then (1996-ish) a friend made me listen to that song over and over again, hence the walk down memory lane.

a brief walk down mammary lane - my trig teacher had big bressesses. consequently i have no idea what sines, cosines, or tangents are.

here is some funny stuff:

Pleasure Boat Captains for Truth ad

White House West with Will Ferrell

album of the jour: magnapop hot boxing