Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Not-so long time loving

To myself I was thinking, "Phillip, your coffee is good," but it's not my coffee. All I do is put grounds and water in a machine and turn it on. It's tantamount to "hey I make great toast." Master an exorbitantly simple machine and you're golden, as is your bread. Although in the day of K-Feds and rich celebrity sluts (mmmm... redundancy) maybe that's not such a given. Cookies are too easily doled out.

Yesterday the BBC ran an article about Indian men not being able to find condoms that fit them, that 60% are 3 to 5 centimeters shorter than international standards. Males are embarrassed to ask a chemist (pharmacist?) for smaller sizes.

India's population is over one billion, about one-sixth of the entire world population. The population of China is also over one billion.

You have the stereotype about the Chinese penis (if you're not privy, guess), and, according to my limited exposure to them as portrayed in movies by Mel Gibson, the Chinese eschew "great shame."

This explains somewhat the tech-savviness of Indians and Chinese though, doesn't it? What do American males who aren't getting laid do in lieu? Get on the internet. Play MMORPG's on the internet (I'll save you the trip to Wikipedia -- massive multiplayer online role-playing game). Download porn on the internet. Chat rooms, cracking passwords, learning all things geek, on the internet.

I know these things because I'm one of said American males.

I'll point out the obvious irony of countries whose males have small penises being overpopulated, but also that the very real threat of global overpopulation might be a result of shame over something noone has control over. Tarnation. Zounds!

Also soy products make you gay, according to an article on WorldNetDaily summarily entitled "A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals." First SpongeBob and the purple teletubby, now soy?

Someone please think of the children. I could aver more concretely that Evangelism makes you gay.

Currently Listening to:
Malajube

Trompe-L'Oeil (2006)

4 comments:

Bottle Job Blonde said...

Okay, I do the same thing when I'm not getting laid.

Well, and when I am, as well.

Bottle Job Blonde said...

Hey, thanks for linking me!

bunny said...

I know, right? We're like geekboys who aren't getting laid.

Frankly, I point to this post as justification for my disinterest in the Southeast Asian male.

Phillip said...

You should qualify that by saying "sexual interest," because Kurosawa is awesome.