70 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T DO KNOW ABOUT ME:
1. DO YOU SNORE?
I love s'mores but haven't had any in forever.
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
3. WHAT ARE YOUR WORST FEARS?
The unknown and the bomb.
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Not a "maniac," but definitely avid.
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY
I was never a baby. I'm one of the pod people.
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
At the moment, it seems.
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black. And white.
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
12. ANY SECRET TALENT?
Witty quiz responses.
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Not. At. All.
15. CAN YOU SWIM?
16. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
17. DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE OZONE?
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Only if I'm drunk and have to do it in front of a cop.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Mostly "in" it, not "on" it.
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
No. One-and-a-half brothers.
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
Electric because you can stick other stuff in there to see what happens.
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
It is abominable, unless you rely on it for life.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
No -- marriage is a hinderance on monogamy.
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
I'm in love with my handwriting.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Nothing, although I get really uncomfortable around people in hospitals.
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU "?
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
Elvis... I'm sure there are plenty of Elvises alive out there.
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Either fertilized or used for stem cell research.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Janeane Garofalo died her hair blonde once and she was still very smart.
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
In the other shoe when it falls.
33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
Peanut butter jelly time!
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME(s)?
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
1992 -- I said "I love you" to someone and they threw me out of while it was moving. I can't bring myself to ride in a car ever since.
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
As real as William Gee.
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
I'll take what I can get.
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
The dark? No. The light? A resounding yes.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Sleep and oxygen.
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Crunchy. Peanut butter jelly time!
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Let's hope not.
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Not in this world.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER
Yes, thanks to drugs.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
It has its moments.
51. WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
What nard-garbler wrote these questions?
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Obviously not or I never would have started this quiz.
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Piano, saxomaphone, some guitar, clitoris.
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
56. DO YOU LOVE SOMEBODY?
57. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDNT?
Someone I shouldn't know or shouldn't like? Fuck you quiz-writer!
58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
I don't laugh.
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
I'd rather have a human female, but greasing up a dog's ass may work for some. Different strokes, whatever.
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Well, I don't believe in marriage so divorce is pretty irrelevant. Actually scratch that, it's because I believe in divorce that I don't believe in marriage.
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I'd rather not imitate Michael Jackson in any way. Maybe his bank account.
63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Not on my nails.
67. HAVE YOU EVER STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
Are we talking priaprism? (Look it up)
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIALS?
Generally all of them.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
I don't even know what that is.
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
Unfair question. Also, fuck you.