Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Come, waste time reading an inane quiz I wasted time answering

70 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T DO KNOW ABOUT ME:

1. DO YOU SNORE?
I love s'mores but haven't had any in forever.

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Neither really

3. WHAT ARE YOUR WORST FEARS?
The unknown and the bomb.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Not a "maniac," but definitely avid.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No.

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY
I was never a baby. I'm one of the pod people.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
At the moment, it seems.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black. And white.

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Shower?

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
No.

12. ANY SECRET TALENT?
Witty quiz responses.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
My bed.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Not. At. All.

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes.

16. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
Yes.

17. DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE OZONE?
Very much.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
116.

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Only if I'm drunk and have to do it in front of a cop.

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Mostly "in" it, not "on" it.

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
No. One-and-a-half brothers.

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
Electric because you can stick other stuff in there to see what happens.

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
It is abominable, unless you rely on it for life.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
No -- marriage is a hinderance on monogamy.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
I'm in love with my handwriting.

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Nothing, although I get really uncomfortable around people in hospitals.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU "?
1992.

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
Elvis... I'm sure there are plenty of Elvises alive out there.

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Either fertilized or used for stem cell research.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Janeane Garofalo died her hair blonde once and she was still very smart.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
In the other shoe when it falls.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
Peanut butter jelly time!

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME(s)?
Several.

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Yes.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
1992 -- I said "I love you" to someone and they threw me out of while it was moving. I can't bring myself to ride in a car ever since.

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Neither. (Showers)

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
As real as William Gee.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
I'll take what I can get.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
The dark? No. The light? A resounding yes.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Sleep and oxygen.

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Crunchy. Peanut butter jelly time!

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Let's hope not.

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
No.

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
13.

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Not in this world.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER
Yes, thanks to drugs.

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Hazel.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
It has its moments.

51. WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
What nard-garbler wrote these questions?

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Obviously not or I never would have started this quiz.

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Piano, saxomaphone, some guitar, clitoris.

55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
Technically? Yes.

56. DO YOU LOVE SOMEBODY?
Several people.

57. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDNT?
Someone I shouldn't know or shouldn't like? Fuck you quiz-writer!

58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
I don't laugh.

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Nah.

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
I'd rather have a human female, but greasing up a dog's ass may work for some. Different strokes, whatever.

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Well, I don't believe in marriage so divorce is pretty irrelevant. Actually scratch that, it's because I believe in divorce that I don't believe in marriage.

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I'd rather not imitate Michael Jackson in any way. Maybe his bank account.

63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
Nope, nevr.

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Fuck you.

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
A baby.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Not on my nails.

67. HAVE YOU EVER STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
Are we talking priaprism? (Look it up)

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIALS?
Generally all of them.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
I don't even know what that is.

70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
Unfair question. Also, fuck you.

6 comments:

Ian McGibboney said...

1. DO YOU SNORE?
I don't know. Why don't you spend the night and tell me? (Women only)

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
1980-93, fighter; 1993-2006, lover; but not against the same people, obviously.

3. WHAT ARE YOUR WORST FEARS?
Dying young or settling into mediocre obscurity.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
No, but Zack, ZACK! He's a Lego Maniac!

5) WHY IS THIS QUESTION MISSING? Perhaps it had the day off.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No, but if you do, it's a sure sign of plastic deficiency.

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY
Only if you find Charlie Brown insanely handsome, as I do.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Definitely.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black, white, shades of grey...it's like a piano with ambiguity.

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
No, because my singing bothers even me, and echo is just piling it on.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? No, but I've been jumped. In bad ways and in good.

12. ANY SECRET TALENT?
I'm still looking. But I guess then it wouldn't be secret anymore.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Lafayette, Louisiana, plus about 1,000 miles west.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Depends on the decade. Now, no.

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
If my life depended on it, probably. I do love the water, though.

16. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"? No. Sorry.

17. DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE OZONE?
Yes I do. Poofy perms went out in the late 1980s anyway.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
Depends on her personal preferences.

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I can't sing it forwards. Or sing anyhing, for that matter.

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Yes, back in the days when travel wasn't an impossible pipe dream for me.

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
Completely the opposite; I am the textbook definition of middle child. Nobody knew I existed until I was 15, and then it was only to be told to babysit my sister.

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
Again, depends on the girl...

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
The fact that Dick Cheney does it tells you all you need to know.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
I hope not. As far as I can tell, marriage equals, "never see your old friends again."

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
Yeah, but we're just friends at the moment.

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Depends on what nasty food I'm trying to finagle out of eating. But in actuality, nothing.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU "? It was to O.J. Simspon on his hospital bed.

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
I had a friend in middle school whose middle name was Elvis. His sister works at the library and says he's doing fine.

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Chocolatey with peanut-butter filling.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Most people in general are dumb. Hair color is strictly circumstantial.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
On the highway next to that lonely shoe.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
I haven't seen the cover of TIME in months.

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME(s)?
Yes.

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
I'm sure they serve crap as well as anyone can serve crap.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
Several days ago, actually. I've been tooling around on my bike. Ever since my truck committed suicide in September, I've been out of practice.

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Baths. But really, there're other things I'd rather do when naked.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Who is?

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
No kissing is bad. Unless teeth or cold sores are involved.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
I love the dark. Corporations scare me.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
I'm high on life!!!!

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Creamy. Nuts in peanut butter are like premature babies.

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Not as well as I can crack yours...now that's teamwork!

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
Not unless you count that one in the Children's Museum. And I DROVE that one, straight to the nation of Imagination.

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
None yet; but I just woke up. On average, about four times a day.

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
It's the way I am, which might explain why I'm such a miserable bastard.

47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER
Not in this house, no.

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue, da ba de da ba di.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
I like what it has been and what it could still be. Right now, not so much.

51. WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
I pick choice B.

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
I have predicted that old people tend to die. And that a Bush in office means a lot of people will fall into the crapper.

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
I play a lot of things. I'm also played.

55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I have nothing to show for it! (No, I really haven't)

56. DO YOU LOVE SOMEBODY?
Probably.

57. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDNT?
That describes everyone I like.

58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
Only when U spell like Prince.

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
I don't put much faith into dorky card games.

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
Much better than cats or other men, yeah.

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Divorce is often its own best medicine. Not enough people do it.

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Yes. But I don't, just like I don't do my dead-on Barney voice. Such wasted talent.

63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
Yes, because at least people notice that.

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
No, but there's a chill inside me.

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
Water.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
You can wear it?!!

67. HAVE YOU EVER STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
I usually do. Nights rock!

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIALS?
The one with the products.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
No. I don't shop, let alone at trendy places.

70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
Rubber.

Ian McGibboney said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ian McGibboney said...

29) WHERE IS THIS QUESTION?
Probably on a honeymoon with question 5.

49) IS THIS AN ATTEMPT BY PHILLIPSES TO CUT DOWN ON QUESTIONS IN A SUBVERSIVE WAY?
Maybe. Or it could be that 49 and 53 are doing the group thing with 29 and 5.

53) WOULDN'T THAT BE KINKY?
Indeed.

Phillip said...

OR.... is it my way of putting a new spin on the mundane and arbitrary quiz/survey blog post cop-out? possibly...

more likely though is that i'm not as adept at copying and pasting text from notepad as i thought.

even more likely is that i copied the questions from someone who omitted uncomfortable questions without renumbering them.

jenny said...

66 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T want to KNOW ABOUT ME:

1. DO YOU SNORE?
not that i've ever heard.

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
um.. both?

3. WHAT ARE YOUR WORST FEARS?
abandonment.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
probably, yes.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
depends on whether they're chewable or not.

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY
adorable. fat, happy and curly blonde. can it go wrong?

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
not the sexual part of it.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
black.

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
yes.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
no.

12. ANY SECRET TALENT?
why keep talents secret?

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
somewhere i can put my feet up and don't have to be cold.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
sometimes.

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
yes. i can also swim synchroniced :D

16. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
yes.

17. DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE OZONE?
of course.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
what's a tootsie pop?

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
with some effort, yes.

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
i have! twice :)

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
no, just the oldest.

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
i prefer propelling pencils.

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
there's enough food that grows.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
nope.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
i guess. hard to change it.

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
idiots.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU "?
a few days ago probably.

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
sure. why not.

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
boiled.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
not dumber, or smarter, than non-blondes.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
with the gnomes of course!

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
past bed-time.

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME(s)?
not really. but i enjoy being called cutiepie. just for the record.

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
in many ways.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
2 weeks ago?

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
depends on mood. and company.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
yeah, complete with the good wife we never see and the small ones.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
i do. :)

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
yes.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
coffee, the internet and kevin smith. oh, and sex.

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
crunchy.

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
by will or force? no.

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
no.

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
one.

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
depends on what drugs we're talking about.

47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER
very much so.

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
blue/grey/green.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
parts of it.

51. WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
mine in 20 years hopefully.

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
no, but i have a bit of a extrasensory perception.

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
yeah, the punk way.

55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
maybe small amounts from my parents when i were young, but nothing i can remember.

56. DO YOU LOVE SOMEBODY?
several.

57. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDNT?
why shouldn't i like somebody? even ass-holes deserves some love now and then.

58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
if it's really funny.

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
not really.

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
some men's i guess.

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
believe in? it exists, what's there to believe in?

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
nope.

63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
i try not to.

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
it is.

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
a piece of chocolate.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
sometimes. faded often.

67. HAVE YOU EVER STAYED UP ALL NIGHT?
yes?

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIALS?
the ones with stereotypical characters and non-lip-synced speech. oh, that's all of them. my bad.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
never heard of.

70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
i don't have at the moment favorite bands.

jenny said...

also, ian sounds a bit sexually frustrated, is that so ian? ;)