Saturday, December 24, 2005

daft punk is playing at my house

a big mormon family that lives across the street sang us a christmas carol this evening. i've never seen people going door-to-door singing christmas carols in my life (anyone else?).

it scared the everloving SHIT out of me. it was actually embarrassing -- i'm sitting in the office eating pie, i look out the window and see 15 people at my parents' front door. i'm only assuming they could see me too.

i find mormons enchanting. they're just like smurfs. i'll refer to a monologue from "donnie darko""

[Smurfette] was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?
i'd consider becoming mormon if it weren't for all the church obligations they have (don't they go every day?). they seem so nice. they brought us bread with frosting on it and sang "o holy night".

i should go to their house and sing "christmas in hollas".

5 comments:

Flamingo Jones said...

There are the occasional carolers here, I'll admit. But I think it's a snowy cold thing. There's usually cocoa or cider involved...so it's OK in my book. I can't imagine it in Texas though. Gross.

Ian McGibboney said...

Or Utah! Do you imagine that no one's home to hear the carols because everyone's out caroling?

Jay said...

I really can't say that my life is empty without a dick, although I guess I kind of do live with a 6-feet tall one.

cotard said...

I can't say that I've ever been 'carolled' before, but I don't think it's much of an Aussie thing...

Happy Festivus phizz, I don't say it enough, but I quite enjoy your angsty utterances.

Keep up the good work...

Phillip said...

peace and love cotard. rather, ire and frustration.