i should be grateful that i only have to see family once every year, but really i'm just resentful. every time i see my grandmother (once a year maybe) she tries to subtly make me feel guilty that i haven't yet married and had kids. little does she know that my resolve to never take a wife is uber stalwart. antiquation (conservativism) pisses me off. practically all my cousins who are roughly my age are married with children. go bug them.
what's wrong with the kurt russell / goldie hawn dynamic?
is getting married and deciding to have children a sign that you've given up on ever having fun again? my cousin is the same age as i and she's crapping one out in the spring, and i think she's insahe. dog forbid i should ever reproduce, but if i did and it was intentional there's no way i'd give in until i was late-thirties. at that point in life i imagine i'll need some sort of project to break the monotony, so why not a kid.
but presently i'm still way too irresponsible and immature, not to mention terrified. i shouldn't be worried right now -- i'd have to get a date first, and there's little danger of that, much less the... rest... of the... err... stuff... that has to happen to make babies.
merry late december!
8 comments:
Way to not give in, phillip! I feel much the same way you do. These days, having a child at a young age is a shaky investment in most cases, particuarly if the reason is to satisfy other peoples' longings. Screw that. I too hope to remain childless well into my thirties (knock on wood).
Well, I'm in the same boat. But, of course, as a female, my only useful purpose to society is procreation. So people get kind of pissy towards me when I talk about not wanting to do that.
Of course the ironic thing is, I'd probably eventually be a lot better mom than most of 'em out there. I just don't understand the pressure to only have kids of your own genetic material. If I ever bother, I'll probably just adopt. Or have foster kids. Something that is ACTUALLY useful to society, even if society doesn't realize it.
I'm glad you brought up the Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell dynamic too. I strive for that as well. But people don't seem to understand that being "unmarried" and being "alone" are not necessarily the same thing. I don't want to be alone...but I'm not willing to get married to just any loser to achieve that end. But if no one else GETS that, then you sort of end up being alone by default, I guess. Which is unfortunate, but definitely preferable to marriage.
you bring up a good point about not necessarily being alone. i'm all for monogamy - 100% - but i just think that marriage does nothing but put a burden on being monogamous. i don't want to be forced to stay faithful to someone, it's much more satisfying to just choose to do so.
as soon as you tell someone that they CAN'T do something, they want to do it that much more.
"i don't want to be forced to stay faithful to someone, it's much more satisfying to just choose to do so."
YES! That's exactly it. You put it into words very nicely.
Unfortunately, most guys' brains translate "I'm not interested in marriage" into "It's cool if you screw around." So fuck 'em all. Not literally though.
Between the three of us, Kurt and Goldie, that's five people who are probably on the smartest track about the nature of relationships. Which is funny, because (as far as I know) all of us here are single. But I do know that none of us will ever settle for anyone we don't deserve, so in the long run it'll be a better deal for everyone involved. Knowing that there are others out there who buck the DeBeers lobby makes me feel better about humanity in general.
plus, look what hollywood and society in general has turned marriage into. what's the point of it if you can just divorce as many times as you like? i don't understand why people do it at all. maybe they just like having a fancy party for themselves at which time they get gifts and attention.
i have to say that i do like weddings though. at least the receptions -- free food and drink is well worth sitting through a slide show pretending to be interested.
Ah...that's where we differ, phillip. I have a wedding-phobia. Free drinks are not a perk for me, they're a necessity.
Flamingo and the Blogger Formerly Known as Phizz and Later Phillip, but Now Known as Phillip Nee Phizz (BFKAPALPBNKAPNP), you both make good points. I like wedding receptions for the free and no-strings-attached dancing with pretty girls who are dressed well. But that's it.
At one small wedding I went to, my friend pulled the caterers onto the dance floor and did nasty dances with them. They seemed to like that a little too much for me to touch the food for the rest of the night.
But incidents like that aside, I generally feel like I'm at a sorority function where nobody knows me and nobody seems to be interested in getting known. Ick. If, when (or if) I ever get married, I might not even make the ceremony. Because I agree with you, BFKAPALPBNKAPNP, that's it's basically an orgy of excess for the couple involved.
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