what i hate about air travel

the waiting, my god, the waiting: waiting in line to check in, then to have your bag sifted through by security, then to be screened before entering the terminal, then at the gate for the plane to board, then for the plane to taxi, takeoff, land, and taxi some more, then to get off the plane, then for your bag at baggage claim. it is torture.

other travelers: generally what i despise most about anything is the way people fuck things up. people are naturally inconsiderate (in my experience) and tend to white-trash everything they happen upon. gone are the days when air travel was for businesspeople and well-to-do's; it is now fraught with wal-mart patrons. a, let's say "scruffy", man in the seat across from me on one flight took off his shoes, and socks, then put his shoes back on his bare feet. nothing like adding the foul odor of ignorance to the claustrophobic environment of a plane. mmmm... recycled air... arrggghhhhhh.

suitcases that roll: being inconsiderate as they are, people with luggage that they can pull behind them always misjudge their girth and plow into me with their bag. i end up looking like a high hurdler when trapsing through an airport terminal.

price: i don't like the price of flying.

closed windows on the plane: it's nerve-wracking not to mention inconvenient to be about to land and not know when to brace yourself. i'm an admitted hater of the sun and its light, but on the plane i want to look out the fucking window like everyone else. how often do i get 10,000 feet up without ingesting chemicals? not bloody very.

paranoia: everyone looks at everyone else wondering if they're a terrorist. i do it to, subconsciously. airports used to be fun -- you'd see the most interesting-looking people and wonder where they came from and where they're going. now i see exotic garb and imagine how best to kick this person in the nads (although there aren't many different ways to do that).

airport drinks: expensive as all fuck. for christmas last year in houston i hat three double crown-on-the-rocks and spent a little over $50.00. it's extortion when you think about it -- they scare the fuck out of you with the prospect of a fiery death and then gouge the prices on sweet sweet liquor.

airport anything: not just alcohol, everything is over-priced. duty-free my titty.