mmmmmm butter.

sorry internet, i've been on my honeymoon for the last week-plus. her official name is now mrs. phizz's left hand. there are now plenty of broken-hearted carebears in my apartment.

recent event summation:

• john roberts looks like a homo jehovah's witness.
• eric rudolph sentenced to life - christian terrorist, no? good thing "ali" wasn't anywhere in his name or he'd be sodomized with a louisville slugger.
• i'm giving up alcohol in favor of other things, like regular sexual relations with the misses.
• bush's ratings officially at 41%, and i heard today something about 36% (nixon was at 39% in the middle of watergate). you'd think i'd be happy about this, but really i just sit and marvel how a percentage can even exist in the approval column.
• i need new gilmore girls episodes, for fuck's sake. also i'm bit-chomping to see that penguin movie.
• my ears are pierced. it was painful and i liked it. i want another. i had a joke prepared for the piercing person if i had them done on sunday about keeping holy the sabbath. get it? holy? as in porous? glad it was done on saturday, that would have been embarrassing.
• my cat's balls are getting huge. i'm developing an inferiority complex. rather, an ever-increasing inferiority complex. throw it on the pile of indignities i guess.
• gasserline is exparnsive y'alls. the whole system is breaking down! revel in the revolution! revelution!
• i'd give cindy sheehan another baby even though she's unattractive. that was in such poor taste. i'm glad marriage hasn't changed me.
• favorite album of late: new pornographers twin cinema, out today

borrowing from fight club: keep polishing the brass on the titanic republicans! now is the winter of our discontent liberals! butter thine nipples.