Friday, April 15, 2005

here's a nice piece of shit

also, jesus was a liberal. remember that.

car commercials always feature their vehicles fishtailing on wet asphalt. is that sexy? wouldn't you want good traction on your new automobile? and how many people actually take their hummers on drives across the desert?

i said hummer. hummer is a euphemism for oral sex.

weekend plans... i'm going for full-on apoplexy tonight: xanax, tylenol pm, nite-nite. tomorrow night i will drink. i will drink alcoholic beverages and i will enjoy them. when i drink alcoholic beverages i get friendly especially with visually-appealing members of the opposite sex. i would like to have sexual intercourse with such a person often times what i want and what actually happens do not coincide i probably will not have sexual intercourse.

sometimes when i want sexual intercourse but cannot find a partner i perform simulated sexual intercourse on myself.

it's nudie magazine day!

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