at work i am busy today. honestly, not even enough time to wipe my ass - i make squishy sounds when i walk. i'm alone (all by myself, and noone is looking) in the office today so i'm doing my best not to steer the entire business into a gigantic ditch. the other guy isn't here because supposedly his wife "had her baby" this morning, which is the biggest load of shite i've ever heard. nah, i'm just pissed i never thought of that excuse before. i doff my hat.
when i waited tables i actually called in one day and said i couldn't work because i was bleeding out of my ass. waiting tables sucked. actually bleeding out of my ass would have been more pleasant.
i ordered some flowers for the "baby" and spent 20 minutes on the phone with an oriental man whom i couldn't understand at all. but from what i gathered he's going to love me for a long time.
my question of the day: since evolution and science are so under attack these days, does anyone actually believe that this whole "internet" thing is for real? i don't know about you all, but i just say words out loud and pray to jesus that they'll be communicated to the proper channels. and what's the deal with gravity? sounds like a scam.