in one seinfeld episode george complains about going from having orgasms like *that, to taking forever to get an orgasm. he never had a nice, medium orgasm.
coming home from work yesterday my street was lined with vehicles. the house across from me was having a large party, i surmise in celebration of martin luther king day. i only say that because they were playing a traditional martin luther king day anthem by fitty cent. which was odd, considering each and every partygoer was a white boy with a baseball hat. i counted 3 girls, and i think they left. (stalk much?)
i had to walk an entire block with my bag from work, four gallons of water, a 12-pack of diet dr. pepper (diet cherry vanilla - worthy of a cindy lauper commercial), and other sundries in plastic bags from the store.
the whole time walking i kept thinking "those fucking kids".
those fucking kids? christ almighty. my sweet dick. when did i go from longing to party on a monday afternoon with alcohol and glue sticks to cursing my neighbors for doing so? am i just bitter because i can't get drunk on a weekday afternoon anymore? i want my mommy!
(by "mommy" i mean "bottle of something" and "life back")
and i could have called the cops for the myriad illegal parking going on that greatly inconvenienced and depressed me, but the thought made me feel even older.
those kids are lucky i didn't drop any of my groceries. i would have had to do some serious... fist shaking. i'd be perfect for lesbian porn.
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