Monday, December 06, 2004

christian cola

jesus h to the c. check out the forward i just got:

Don't buy Pepsi in the new can. Pepsi has a new "patriotic" can coming out with pictures of the Empire State Building, and the Pledge of Allegiance on them. However, Pepsi left out two little words on the pledge, "Under God." Pepsi said they didn't want to offend anyone. In that case, we don't want to offend anyone at the Pepsi Corporate Office, either. So, if we don't buy any Pepsi product, they will not be offended when they don't receive our money that has the words "In God We Trust" on it.


i forwarded it very fast to my recycle bin. regardless of the fact that useless forwards are evil and only serve to label the sender a dumbfuck, i think i'm going to start buying pepsi. i don't drink soda, except diet rite, but i will now buy pepsi.

if "under god" were replaced by "under allah" or "under satan" or "under on-star" (my god), would anyone mind? maybe?

i like the idea of replacing "one nation, under god" with "one nation, under canada".

why not just come up with a soda called "jesus cola". the slogan would be "what would jesus drink?". it would taste heavenly, or immaculate. we could hire priests at the production facility to bless every can. vending machines in church!

the different varieties would come out. diet jesus, caffeine-free jesus, jesus with lemon, vanilla jesus... marketing would make us roll out "new jesus", which noone will like. we then revert back to "jesus classic".

and then we could make cocktails with it! imagine drinking a rum and jesus, or a crown and jesus. it would be super.

disclaimer: i am not making fun of jesus or god, whatever she/he/it is or may be. i only deride the insanely sensitive followers thereof who deem it necessary to try to change popular culture so that they never see signs of different beliefs because theirs are that fragile. they suck.

album of the jour: holly golightly serial girlfriend

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