clay aiken is bizarro phizz. he is the complete opposite of everything i am and/or try to be. i don't wear pastels. i can't sing. if i could sing there would be no chance i would ever subject myself to the american idol trials. and didn't he only come in second? i pride myself on never having seen an episode.
other ways i am the opposite of clay aiken:
- i like sex with girls
- i don't wear sweaters
- my christmas special would never be on nbc
- i would have taken out reuben's kneecaps way before the finals ( jeff gillooly where are you?)
- i don't speak with a southern drawl
- i don't find cabbage patch kids sexually arousing
- i can grow facial hair
- my penis exists
album of the jour: chicklet indian summer
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