Thursday, July 29, 2004

them fem dems

female republicans scare me in that way my ex-army hardcore grandmother scared me when i was little, chasing me with the dough roller when i was bad with intentions of using it. 

karen hughes - scares me because i don't want to regurgitate my internal organs.  i like my internal organs. 

laura bush - scares me because subservience to one's husband would mean i'd have to do more if i ever marry (which i won't).  what kind of first lady views subservience as positive (exception - in the bedroom)?  plus she married that guy.  you know, that guy. 

khandi rice - scares me to know that highly educated people can be ignorant bald-faced liars.  

nancy reagan - now on my "friends of p" list for shunning the rnc.

deborah orin - writes for the new york post, which is the print-media equivalent of fox news (both owned by rupert murdock).  it's a funny relationship - they cite each other as "sources".  damn liberal media.  orin chastized teresa heinz kerry as "new-age" for using the phrase "the mystic chords of our national memory".  what's interesting though is that the phrase actually came from an abraham lincoln speech in the 1800's.  you know lincoln, that crystal-wielding peace-sign-flashing new-age former president of ours.   

there is so much i could say about female pundits who really piss me off.  concerning the males - i could write every day for the rest of my life about the misdeeds of robert novak alone.

female democrats - be my girlfriends, please?  to all those "hippy chick pie wagons" ann coulter refers to, i would gladly serve in a laura-bush deferential capacity.  janeane garafalo embarrassed sean hannity on his own show yesterday afternoon (i listen to the dark side as well - i would not be a credible liberal otherwise).  elizabeth edwards is delightful, as is the future second daughter kate edwards.  i even love those little old ladies you see in the crowd wearing the tacky sequined r/w/b outfits that normally would pain you to look at.

album du jour:  public enemy  it takes a nation of millions to hold us back 

some listen to real raging hardcore rock when they're angry.  i listen to chuck d and flavor flav. 

4 comments:

oyster said...

Great, hilarious post! A million bloggers couldn't hold you back!

oyster said...

"I like my internal organs"... HA!... I'm still chuckling over that.

Phillip said...

my sole purpose is to amuse and inform (and bitch) :O) thanks oyster.

i am, in fact, a rentals fan. and have been for years. i think i'm going to change the "regular reads" header in the right column to "friends of p".

Pisser said...

"Pie wagons"?

I love it...!