Monday, July 19, 2004

ailment, ailment

a pox on you monday... fie.  fie i say!  i could not have less energy right now, unless i was dead (and i'm not totally convinced i'm not).  i'm thinking that mybe typing will help me wake up.  sound stupid?  well i'm deliriously tired, so maybe it just is.  i should feign an injury or illness so boss will let me leave.  what would be a likely sickness....
 
a sudden onset of scurvy (or malaria, or the plague, or some other early-colonial fever).  my aids is acting up (thanks chris rock).  i'm bleeding out of my asshole (no questions asked).  ooooooo, mad cow (i mean "mooooooo", mad cow).  leprosy (although i'd need props and makeup).  some good old-fashioned vertigo (maybe too many corners around here for that).  an allergic reaction to... uh... flourescent lighting?  oxygen?  verticality? 
 
i could just somehow give myself a raging erection and walk around the office.  although that may just get me fired or sued in addition to being sent home.
 
yesterday i watched mystic river, then later fast times at ridgemont high.  i have to say, i like surfer-stoner sean penn more than tortured-artist sean penn.  actually i've had enough of him altogether.  

this talk of sean penn is doing nothing for my raging erection.  ahhhh, robin wright-penn... there it is.

album du jour:  burning brides  leave no ashes

2 comments:

PusBoy said...

And . . . scene.

Thank you! Tip your waitresses!

another drink? said...

The all-purpose throw-a-sicky excuse has to be food poisoning - can strike without warning and last anything up to three days. And if they start asking for specifics, the simple use of the phrase "expelling violently from both ends" tends to deter further enquiries...