Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Negative stereotypes of the Creole-Cajun-Acadian heritage outweigh the positive for me . For the first 25ish years living in Lafayette I felt embittered by the culture -- having waited tables and witnessing first-hand the bottom of the etiquette/class barrel. Then, in college, enduring the incessant party subculture that wears a previous night of intoxication as a badge And I wondered, am I the outlier? Am I missing a redefined bell curve that esteems party life over the relatively tame pursuit of a solid education? Above or below?

It took years, sadly in a posthumous graduation period, for me to realize that both were somewhat true. Perhaps with a more stalwart sense of belonging I could have realized that the best of both worlds was possible, but I was young(er) and hoisted misconceptions about human interaction, which drove me to externalize the pain.

My bitterness was ostensibly against others having their debaucherous times with friends on weekends and overhearing tale regalia on Monday, which hammered nails into my brain (hence my penchant for the portable CD player, predating the iPod). I realize now that these were self-inflicted torments; that I and only I chose not to participate under my self-delusional excuse of "rising above,” but sincerely out of fear and self-doubt.

Mine was the perspective of an ingrained outlier, looking in at what seemed a utopia and conjuring rationale as to why I fell below its standards, which I inherently knew were false.

The rub is that conscious awareness and internalized beliefs are almost impossibly disparate.

I’m part of the robot working force. The ants go marching innumerable by innumerable. Not surprisingly most of my co-workers are racist, at least latently. I find myself occasionally tempted to acquiesce the degradation to fit in, to be accepted. But I don’t, which is not worthy of commendation in and of itself. Commendable would be me assailing my co-workers, including the big boss, about their racist tendencies which flow from their mouths like dip spit, which they also practice.

What else are we to do though, beside put up with our jobs? How much actual freedom do we have? You know what, NOT MUCH. Because large corporations treat people -- emplyees or not -- as commodities. They get away with it because none of us question their motives.

Our President would never lie! By George, he went to Harvard! No one could be THAT self-deluded?

Why not? Human nature is NEVER something to be over- or under-estimated. We are mo0re often than not even hypnotically held captive by prime time TV. American Idol, CSI, supposed "news" programs. Did you know that 4 (four) of the largest news broadcasting corporations are owned by the same company (Viacom, who also owns Disney)?

My self-aggrandizing synopsis is this:

I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us, that the less we use our power the greater it will be. (a Thomas Jefferson idea)

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