Friday, April 01, 2005

glory! rapture!

friends, i have seen the light. last night our lord and savior jesus christ appeared to me in a lean cuisine, and i had a dream in which he told me to repent and change my heathen ways, lest i be doomed for all eternity.

so i am returning to the church. the prodigal son returns, ashamed at his behavior and devil-worship enthusiasm.

during these dark days of promiscuous sex, oral sex, anal sex, premarital sex, aural sex (ear canal), auto-eroticism, combinations thereof, baby-murdering, homosexual parades, the aclu, activist judges, barbara streisand, and tsunami relief, we all need to pray especially hard for our souls' salvation. we need to pray that god will punish the wicked.

i ask that you all please pray for my soul, as i pray each day for yours. it's not too late for you too to turn away from the devil (non-white people) and embrace the good word.

it is also equally important that we now embrace our president, and get behind him in his jihad to free the world of evil. the lord speaks through him, and to turn a deaf ear is to turn away from god.

hmm. praise christ.

No comments: