Tuesday, November 23, 2004

i am like a nelly furtado

you would think i would be ecstatic to be leaving louisiana for the holidays, but consider the fact that my destination is texas. this is so fakakta'd up.

things i would rather do than travel on a commercial airline during the holidays:

- go to the dentist
- eat poo
- get "hobbled" by kathy bates
- profess undying love for nicole richie
- listen to ashlee simpson album 5 times in a row
- masturbate in front of a gay priest
- vote for george bush
- watch must-see tv on nbc
- pay $20 for a metallica album
- play jesus in a staged version of the passion of the christ
- ride a bike with no seat
- donate money to pat robertson
- sit through a rural high school graduation ceremony
- play soccer
- go duck hunting
- attend a carrot top performance
- be enthusiastic about junior high football
- work at denny's
- eat at denny's
- get a kid rock tattoo on my forehead
- teach at an inner-city high school
- be a taste-tester for a shampoo company
- have my scrotum pierced
- watch a jerry bruckheimer movie
- get married to starr jones

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