just like brian wilson

i must not be a fan of my own free time. something i just realized ( not just realized, but just thought about) is that i sleep through practically every hour of the day/weekend that i am not at work. and usually not natural sleep - always induced by this pill or that pill or the other pill. i'm in my mid-twenties (25 - almost mid-twenties some would say) and i'm going to wake up one morning in a mid-life crisis and realize how utterly i squandered my youth and life, lamenting that i never did the things young people do because i am a hermit and a coward and a slacker and have preconceived misconceptions about the world that shouldn't matter, despite their absurdity.

time is not linear, or even cyclical. it's a single fucking point. wasn't i just on a field trip? didn't i just graduate? the year 2020: wasn't i just 25? what the hell happened? i'm obsessed with the concept of time.

is it wise to keep striving for a lifestyle that may not be in the cards, or should i just acquiesce to the blessed mean... become a run-of-the-mill worker drone and buy dockers and drink starbucks and check the weather channel every ten mintutes before the hour to see if it's going to rain so i don't muss my dockers.

being a hermit is addictive.

album of the jour: the get up kids on a wire

their new album (guilt show) sucks, but that one is good. and i'm not a huge fan of emo.