pass over

my parents were supposed to come for easter but my dad is too busy at work so they're not. i was looking forward to a hassel-free family-free holiday weekend. but low and behold one of my uhcle-and-aunt sets is coming to stay with us on saturday night. they're very nice people and i really do like them. their children are mostly my age - twentysomething - and have jobs and spouses. it pains me to think how normal and good their lives are. two of the weddings were actually in october and november of last year. i didn't go to either. i opted out because i couldn't endure a big gathering with lots of rarely-seen family members asking me the same questions that the family member right before them asked, of course pertaining to what i'm doing with myself (if they only knew!) and what my lofty aspirations are, job-wise. it's like talkiing abou the weather with a stranger - talking about work with family. and now i can't just not go, because they're coming to me, and they'll either be cross that i didn't go, think i don't like them, or i can fess up and be further enmeshed in self-image deprecation (and i can't think of a reasonable lie, which i am very good at doing).

i could fake my own kidnapping like that wisconsin girl. that may actually be something i'd do anyway. it would be fun to create a crime scene.

album du jour: snow patrol final straw