letter to the editor

If Cindy Sheehan could camp outside Bush's ranch to protest the Iraq war, then I can set a camp outside the White House to support the pre-emptive strike policy of our national security strategy?

Pre-emptive strike policy is not only our superdoctrine but also a military strategy to save lives, time and a great many of our resources.

The White House has reaffirmed the pre-emptive strike policy. Whether you are white, black, brown or yellow, you should support our national goal, which assures you the right to pre-emptively attack any enemy states or terrorist groups seeking weapons of mass destruction.
We cannot stand and watch dangers coming to us. If other measures fail, pre-emptive attack is our first choice to deal with our enemies.

Iran tops the list of nations threatening the U.S.

The North Korea weapons program is a serious nuclear proliferation challenge.
Syria harbors terrorists and sponsors terrorist activities.

Pre-emptive attack is what we use to avert a war. We don't like war, but when needed, pre-emptive attack could calm down our enemies, make them frustrated and offer them a right motive to their retreats.

Our adversaries' schemes cannot be overlooked. Pre-emptive attack surely affects their aggressive policy and stubborn attitude. In short, enemies should be subjected to being friendly with us, living in harmony with neighbors and making their regions better off.
I'm very proud to be an American. Christians, Buddhists, Hindus and Muslims can live together in peace in the United States.

Let's fully support the pre-emptive strike policy to keep America beautiful, more secure and safe.

Quang Dao
Lafayette

cultivate the doubt, susan

republican unity, democrat in-fighting? "plan" versus "no plan?"

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

Bertrand Russell
1872-1970
British Philosopher, Mathematician, Essayist

we're alone?

"coalition of the willing" is a ludicrous, jackassed coinage. why not "coalition of the coaliters" or "group of the group members?" fuck almighty. has there ever been a coalition of dissenters? if not we should form one. why is this on my mind.

i wear no green today, but god bless the catholic faith, that celebrates the day recognizing a saint by getting piss-drunk and beating up each other. mmmmmmm that's good religion.

"he teaches us how to love! shut up before i kill you!"

ima go home and eat xanbars and doritos and spend quality face time with my pillow. i'll buy a six-pack and pour it on the ground in front of a homeless person and/or a catholic.

my comfortable couch has fleas all over it thanks to cat. ladies' home journal online told me to sprinkle salt on it to get rid of the fleas. the fleas are gone, but now when i wake up from a nap i'm really thirsty.

---

currently listening to:
the high violets

to where you are (2006)

---

fuck democrats too

why russ feingold is the only person i'd feel good about voting for in 2008:

I’m amazed at Democrats, cowering with this president’s numbers so low. The administration just has to raise the specter of the war and the Democrats run and hide…too many Democrats are going to do the same thing they did in 2000 and 2004. In the face of this, they’ll say we’d better just focus on domestic issues…[Democrats shouldn’t] cower to the argument, that whatever you do, if you question administration, you’re helping the terrorists.

it seems like democrats sieze every opportunity to miss an opportunity. the dash paul hackett and they'll do the same to feingold.

welcome to the occupation

my job is not horrible. it's easy like sunday morning. i'm fortunate and blessed (by on-star) that i even have one, much less one in which i have a fair boss, pleasant co-workers, a relatively stress-free environment, little supervision and vacation time.

so why do i LOATHE it? i constantly remind myself that the job facilitates my lifestyle and enjoyment when not working, but incessantly i'm thinking "FUCK i would be so happy if i could stay home all the damn time doing diggedy-damn nothing and shove this job."

it's a great paradox: you can't enjoy time in your life without dedicating 40 hours a week to contributing something to the marketplace. sure, some people (claim to) like their job. but i bet if you asked them if they'd rather be home the answer would be resounding in the affirmative.

i just hate having to be productive some of the time to be completely unproductive the rest. it seems like such a waste of life, this temporary speck of time we are afforded on earth. i tend toward ahteism more with each passing day so i'm doubting that little else exists beyond this planar existence.

so what sense does it make to spend 40 hours, roughly 25%, of the week (consider that another third -- or what i like to call 33% -- goes towards sleep) NOT experiencing some ethereal joi de vivre?

unless you put more value into being a cog of civilization and a functional global society, but at the moment our society doesn't seem to be very civilized OR functional, so i wonder what the hell i'm doing. what we're all doing.

life has become this massive imbroglio of injustice, futility, commercialism, murder, moral superiority, moral relativity, nihilism, antipathy, semantics, capitalism, corporate crime, triangulation, mad cow, bird flu, mardi gras, aspartame, short sight, american idol, wal-mart, nazi popes, the death of fact, desperate housewives, child labor, free trade, insurance, melting icecaps, taxidermy, money, power, greed, paris hilton, the ninth ward, prejudice, orwell, censorship, lunch breaks, fox news, bad drivers, poverty, southern strategies, eavesdropping, despotism, nascar, and unrestrained id stinking and premeating every human action.

intellectual curiosity abandoned this ship many moons ago.

obviously my glass is 3/4 empty, not necessarily about my own station in life but that of the world. what's the real kicker is that even those who are aware of the above, you included, will read this and think "god this all really is shitty," and immediately start wondering what to wear tomorrow or where to get drunk this weekend.

joaquin phoenix's character had a line in "hotel rwanda": "If people see this footage, they'll say, 'oh my god, that's terrible,' and they'll go on eating their dinners."

i can't quit the job, and if everyone did there would be chaos. my point is just that even with this mundane "order," we don't seem far from chaos anyway.

bareback mount him

jesus man, what a complete chuckle-fuck i've been with the blogging. i don't feel bad about the lack of motivation but lament not writing regularly. it's exercise for the brain and i'm turning into a fat sack of crap.

i had a noteworthy thought about the oscars last weekend but forgot what it was. i'm liking george clooney more and more, always liked phil-sey-hoff, pregnant rachel weisz is still so hot want to touch the hiney, "crash" was decent but not the best. find me a more comprehensive conglomeration of b-list actors in one movie. double dog dare.

doesn't "ang lee" sound like an asian trying to say "angry?" that's not very p.c. of me. i imagine that his mom was really pissed about having a baby.

it's strange that "six shooter" won best live action short film. i had money one "the last farm."

months ago i loaned my copy of "arrested development" season 1 to a friend (a friend no longer, no sir) who has since been incommunicado. so bad is my jones for some un-wholesome bluth family fun that i just ordered another copy. it's the closest thing to a bible i currently have, which sounds ridiculous, but it really does give me solace to watch episodes over and over. it's right up there with gandhi.
no touching!

Come, waste time reading an inane quiz I wasted time answering

70 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T DO KNOW ABOUT ME:

1. DO YOU SNORE?
I love s'mores but haven't had any in forever.

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Neither really

3. WHAT ARE YOUR WORST FEARS?
The unknown and the bomb.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Not a "maniac," but definitely avid.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No.

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY
I was never a baby. I'm one of the pod people.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
At the moment, it seems.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black. And white.

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Shower?

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
No.

12. ANY SECRET TALENT?
Witty quiz responses.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
My bed.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Not. At. All.

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes.

16. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
Yes.

17. DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE OZONE?
Very much.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
116.

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Only if I'm drunk and have to do it in front of a cop.

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Mostly "in" it, not "on" it.

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
No. One-and-a-half brothers.

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
Electric because you can stick other stuff in there to see what happens.

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
It is abominable, unless you rely on it for life.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
No -- marriage is a hinderance on monogamy.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
I'm in love with my handwriting.

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Nothing, although I get really uncomfortable around people in hospitals.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU "?
1992.

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
Elvis... I'm sure there are plenty of Elvises alive out there.

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Either fertilized or used for stem cell research.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Janeane Garofalo died her hair blonde once and she was still very smart.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
In the other shoe when it falls.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
Peanut butter jelly time!

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME(s)?
Several.

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Yes.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
1992 -- I said "I love you" to someone and they threw me out of while it was moving. I can't bring myself to ride in a car ever since.

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Neither. (Showers)

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
As real as William Gee.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
I'll take what I can get.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
The dark? No. The light? A resounding yes.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Sleep and oxygen.

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Crunchy. Peanut butter jelly time!

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Let's hope not.

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
No.

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
13.

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Not in this world.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER
Yes, thanks to drugs.

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Hazel.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
It has its moments.

51. WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
What nard-garbler wrote these questions?

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Obviously not or I never would have started this quiz.

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Piano, saxomaphone, some guitar, clitoris.

55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
Technically? Yes.

56. DO YOU LOVE SOMEBODY?
Several people.

57. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDNT?
Someone I shouldn't know or shouldn't like? Fuck you quiz-writer!

58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
I don't laugh.

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Nah.

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
I'd rather have a human female, but greasing up a dog's ass may work for some. Different strokes, whatever.

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Well, I don't believe in marriage so divorce is pretty irrelevant. Actually scratch that, it's because I believe in divorce that I don't believe in marriage.

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I'd rather not imitate Michael Jackson in any way. Maybe his bank account.

63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
Nope, nevr.

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Fuck you.

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
A baby.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Not on my nails.

67. HAVE YOU EVER STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
Are we talking priaprism? (Look it up)

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIALS?
Generally all of them.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
I don't even know what that is.

70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
Unfair question. Also, fuck you.

a post you probably won't read until monday because you have lives

words hover above meaninglessness. we use them to communicate and assign what are at best loose definitions to the abstract and not-so-abstract (all things), but essentially they mean nothing. you are not what you say, you are not what you write, you are not your own self-image. all you are is what you do and what you love. tell me what you love and i'll know everything relevant about you.

as i age i notice that my circle of friends acquaintences changes consistently. how this happens i can't say, or whether it's a phenomenon specific to me or not. my own theory is that i get bored with people, who were probably bored with me from the get-go. i get bored, and annoyed, and feel taken for granted, and at some point cease to put up with it. i subsequently go through a social hiatus wherein i communicate very little with the outside world, recharge the chi, and get back to it. sunrise, sunset.

it's possible i'm too intolerant of others' bugaboos, which shouldn't be such big deals. fuck it, they're not really bugaboos so much as character flaws and emotional immaturity. to hell with them. at least to elsewhere with them.

but also i forget to pay more attention to the actions of friends than the words. i need to get a placard or something and hang it up in my bathroom to remind myself. no more piss down my back disguised as rain.

34%!

who are the minus-minds who STILL approve of this through-and-through douchelicker? it's like saying that you enjoy sandblasting your genitals in a swimming pool of salty lemon juice. i can wonder the same about that 23o approved of nixon right before he left the white house.

of course there's always a certain percentage who won't disapprove of bush regardless of what he does.

he raped a puppy? well, yes... because.. 9-11!

we now get news that he had another biking accident in scotland. oh how this tickles me:

US President George W Bush was waving to police when he fell off his bike at the G8 summit in Scotland last July, newly published police papers reveal.

The smash left Mr Bush with scrapes on his hands and arms, and the policeman needing crutches for an ankle injury.

At the time, Mr Bush laughed off the crash as a sign "I should act my age".

The police report confirms that Mr Bush later telephoned the injured policeman to ask how he was and to apologise.

The cause of the officer's injury was officially recorded as being "hit by a moving/falling object".

a falling object? so... many... jokes...

it's not a bad metaphor for his entire presidency. get this man some training wheels, or at least get h.w. running behind him with his hand on junior's seat.

---

currently listening to:
feist

let it die (2005)

---

flat bluesday

as much as i bash mardi gras i do enjoy the day off. it's also the day before lent begins, and oh how i relish wholesome christian fasting. i have decided to give up alcohol/cigarettes for the month of march. not lent-related at all, just a coincidence. also i can eat only meat on fridays.

it's a good reality check to occasionally go an extended period of time without drinking just to make sure i'm not an -aholic, and to replenish my chi.

i live close enough to the parade routes to hear people celebrating good times from my bedroom. a past version of myself could easily wallow in depression as a result; "woe is me for being alone and not amongst the revelers," but now i couldn't be more grateful for the solitude.

here's hoping this is my last mardi gras in louisiana.

this specific day -- february 28, 2006 -- will hereby be known as the day of auditory slings and arrows. i should have known better than to think i would be immune, holed up in my apartment. but no. big hefty stinking NOOOOOOOOOO. the people who live behind me went the full nine: speakers bigger than a volkswagon, zydeco thumping and permeating my usually stolwart powers of ostriching. ultimately i've decided to just drink. tomorrow is the first of march and begins my month-long sobriety stint, so why not. laissez les blah blah rouler.

the port authority

the neon-con chagrin at the uae taking over port operations at six of our ports is, imo, two-fold:

1. general racism directed at anything with the word "arab" in it (also muslim, islaam, middle-easterner, persian, and the prefixes "al-" and "bin-".
2. the word "port" is nautical for "left" and nothing left-related ever flies with neon-cons. if a foreign government took over our "starboards" instead then they would say it's only "right."

personally i'm experiencing a little inner dichotomy over the issue. instinctually i was eager to pile on the bush-bash bandwagon -- the man is always wrong, sue me for jumping the gun occasionally -- and chalk another one up to incompetance and complete disregard for actual security. now i'm wondering if my reaction isn't because i'm a little prejudiced myself at the thought of a mid-east nation controlling our ports.

so i prolonged my conclusions. the british formerly operated these ports so why should a different nation doing it be so horrible? just because they're an islaamic country? consider that the uae:

• is one of three countries that recognizes the taliban as the ruling government of afghanistan (i-heart-saudi arabia and libya being the other two)
• has historically been an operational and financial base for the hijackers who carried out the attacks of 7-11
• has laundered money for al quaeda and other terrorist outfits
• has been very uncooperative with u.s. efforts to find osama

okay, so maybe i'm not exactly behind this.

even so, i have little concern for port security lessening (partially because it's so fuck-poor as it is). in truth the vetting process for foreign investments, especially for seaports, seems rigorous. you can read about it here. informative stuff.

all port owners (including the uae-owned dubai ports world) must abide by the maritime transportation security act passed by congress in 2002 and international ship and port facility security codes enacted in 2004. both sets of security measures are enforced by the coast guard.

and were it not THIS administration in office, i may have been peseudo-psatisfied with the psale.

but (i won't write something someone else has already written better):

Another secret deal cooked up behind closed doors? Another series of prior relationships between Bush crony appointees and thebenefiting business? Another request from the same crew that brought us WMDs, 'mushroom clouds', and Michael Brown to trust them? And now another claim the whole thing wasn't their fault?

As Bush and his cronies stumbled Tres Stoogian like from one self inflicted cluster-fuck to another, the next set of excuses to come out of their PR pie-holes has been "No one could have predicted it" or "Everyone agreed with us at the time". And today we've already gone from "This is a good deal that we've checked out" to "The President
didn't know" about it: Except they're still going to push it on Congress. Funny thing about that modus operandi; It tends to erode trust.

it's a rare instance in which the face value of what's being done is representative through and through.

---

currently listening to:
kudu

death of the party (2006)

---

deadeye dick

how i love mardi gras, let me count the ways:

hmph

this is a post about corporate misdeeds. if you don't care then fuck off. and fuck your yankee bluejeans.

last night i rented a documentary called the corporation. it scared the bejeezus out of me. if you strive to be a conscientious global citizen and are not a completely crazed nihilst or laissez-faire in regards to capitalism, you need to watch it.

the only true legal mandate for a corporation is to act in a way that increase profits, that they operate only to satisfy shareholders. meager government regulations regarding public health and safety, the environment, worker rights, discrimination and a host of other human rights issues are only parts of an equation.

none of this is particularly novel; corporations are rightfully stereotyped as big, evil monsters trampling the rights of the (mythic) "little guy," and the environment.

frankly i've always been sort of a passive environmentalist. i'll recycle cans when i remember to, reuse my wal-mart bags, whatever doesn't excessively require work on my part. i can't feel satisfied with this anymore.

i'm never using paper plates or plastic silverware again. i love them dearly, lazy creature that i am, but i'll always see images of a five-legged frog or a boy born without eyes when i act in an environmentally reckless way.

people who advocate total privatization are nihilists. the movie reminded me of why a republican philosophy is so dangerous to the planet and the majority of its inhabitants (animals and vegetables). unbridled capitalism, or any system, is hazardous. a corporation is legally defined as a person with all the rights thereof, but only limited liability.

ford opted not to recall its pinto model in the 70's when it learned the gas tank easliy explodes on rear-end collisions because it would have cost $11.00 more per car to fix the defect than simply paying court fees for lawsuits brought on behalf of dead consumers. if you or i committed several murders we would be jailed for life or executed. not so for the inc.'s.

fuck, just watch the movie. this isn't good for my blood pressure.

how i hate you, let me count the ways...

i decided to celebrate bloodlust day by taking the day off of work. i claimed stomach cramps and nausea -- not completely false.

i've put a relevant video on my myspace profile. it's one of the greatest songs ever from one of the greatest albums ever by one of the greatest bands ever. guess (spaine you're excluded; i know you know).

also, here's a list of good albums to listen to on this day for the bitter among us who need to nurture our bitter bitterness. happy quirkyalone.

• tegan and sara - this business of art
• filter - title of record
• cave in - antenna
• kidneythieves - zerospace
• peaches - the teaches of peaches
• burning brides - fall of the plastic empire
• holly golightly - serial girlfriend
• the kills - no wow
• nirvana - in utero
• the stone roses - second coming

pass along any albums that you think are appropriate. peaches.

fore!

my own contribution to the hunting brick-a-brack:

• cheney comes out of the vegetarian closet
• dick cheney hunts R greatest game: man
• vice president makes a stand for animal rights
• satan swings and misses
• cheney blasts old man in face with shotgun*
• veep finally gets combat experience
• cheney git-r-done
• dick shoots first, evades questions later

*personal favorite

the shooting itself seems purely accidental, and frankly i don't really care. the man is direcly responsible for tens of thousands of deaths as it stands; what's one more.

here's the rub as i see it, garnered from the limited info i've read/heard thus far:

on washington journal ths morning people were mentioning that he may have been drinking at the time (hence the 18-hour delay in reporting the story), which, if true, has serious legal consequences. it's not that far-fetched, since g.o.p. g.o.b. (good ol' boy) s.o.b.'s love their guns n' ammo n' hooch.

out of the million or so licensed hunters in texas only 29 accidental shootings occur each year. cheney may not even have had a hunting license at the time, although i'm sure he does now. a nice pre-dated one.

there is a GREAT post on dailykos about the true significance of this story (i encourage anyone and everyone to read it). an excerpt:

It's a perfect analogy for the way they have conducted their entire administration--and all the biggest flaws of this presidency are on display in one little vividly portrayed story.

A little story that has tremendous sway because, let's face it: THE VICE PRESIDENT JUST ACTUALLY SHOT ANOTHEHUMAN BEING. The imagery is clear and potent--and not subject to the typical political "he said, she said."

There is no way to play the usual equivocating politics with a story about the vice president ACTUALLY SHOOTING SOMEONE.

And that's why I guarantee you this story isn't going away: It's a perfect way for the press to indict the entire Administration through the perfect metaphor. And they'll be able to do it without retribution, or accusations that both sides aren't being fairly presented.

also i wonder how charlton heston feels about all this.

---

currently listening to:
the mendoza line

full of light and full of stars (2006)

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things i would rather do than watch the winter olympics

• drink paint
• scar myself with a (lit) cigarette
• watch "american idol"
• eat KFC
• attend a high school football game
• lick a frozen flag pole (ala flick)
• shave my nether regions while blidnfolded and drunk
• get a bikini wax
• fuck an unconscious homeless person
• buy enron stock
• vote republican
• go to a monster truck rally
• join the army national guard
• go to the keg on sorority night (local thing)
• rent and watch "the dukes of hazzard"
• listen to fm radio
• watch mtv, vh1, etc.
• subscribe to "sports illustrated"
• join the nra
• wipe my ass with a brillo pad
• tattoo "mother" across my chest
• be an elementary school janitor, or lunchlady
• change my name to sunshine and spend a month in prison
• go hunting
• attend a cockight
• be locked in a room with steven cojocaru for one hour

i don't like the olympic games.

---

currently listening to:
dios malos

dios (malos) (2005)

---

yet another inane questionnaire

1. How tall are you barefoot? - 5' 10"

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? - no

3. Do you own a gun? - about the biggest one you've ever seen dingleberry

4. Rehab? - for what? i can quit when i want.

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"? - never met any parents ever, including my own

6. What do you think of hot dogs? - try not to

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? - either run dmc's "christmas in hollis" or mr. garrison singing "merry fucking christmas"

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? - water, coffee, diet coke

9. Do you do push-ups? - occasionally

10. Have you ever done ecstacy? - yes

11. Are you vegan? - i don't eat poultry or red meat, whatever that makes me

12. Do you like painkillers? - of course

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? - get them drunk

14. Do you own a knife? - butter

15. Do you have A.D.D. - jello

16. Date Of Birth ? - october 24

17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
1. i buy too many cd's when i'm drinking
2. it's a beautiful day to stay in bed with the blinds drawn
3. where have all the cowboys gone

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought.
1. cd's
2. martini
3. potato chips

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
1. water
2. coffee
3. diet soda
4. beer
5. gin

20. What time did you wake up today? - 11:40 a.m.

21. Current hair? - wake-up style

22. Current worry? - southerners

23. Current hate? - buddha says not to hate

24. Favorite place to be? - my room, my bed, my imagination

25. Least favorite place to be? - wal-mart

26. Where would you like to go? - minnesota!

27. Do you own slippers? - no

28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? - right here and/or dead

29. Do you burn or tan? - yes

30. Last thing you ate? - delicious triscuit crackers

31. Would you be a pirate? - absolutely

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink? - this morning

33. What 3 songs do you sing in the shower?
1. "i swear" by all-4-one
2. "afternoon delight" by starland vocal band
3. "i feel like a woman" by shania twain

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as as a child? - kaiser wilhelm ii

35. What's in your pockets right now? - one hand, the other one is typing a stupid quiz

36. Last thing that made you laugh? - just went to the bathroom and looked at my penis

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? - voltron, bitch

38. Worst injury you've ever had? - never really been injured. i'm timid.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? - 2

41. Who is your loudest friend? - my surround sound system

42. Who is your most silent friend? - my cat

43. Does someone have a crush on you? - my great aunt

45. What is your favorite book? - "he's just not that into you"

46. What is your favorite candy? - never met one i didn't like

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? - taps

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? twisted sister - "i wanna rock"

49. What were you doing 12AM last night? - drinking alcoholic beverages

50. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? - when it's inflicted on others, yes

---

currently listening to:
suffrajett

suffrajett (2003)

---

friday crunk

a nice mind-wrench on a soggy friday -- kick off the weekend with a kick to the head i always say.

from usatoday:

The federal government levied a larger fine — $550,000 — for the 2004 Super Bowl showing of Janet Jackson's breast than it did for the 2001 deaths of 13 Alabama miners in one of the deadliest mine disasters in a quarter-century. And the $435,000 fine against mine operator Jim Walter Resources was cut by a judge to $3,000.

that's over half a million for a two-second titty shot (from which probably half a million "money shots" ensued), and three grand for 13 lives. i'd like to call the fcc and find out how much for both titties.

off-topic quickly: an ad on the radio yesterday for lasik eye surgery boasted prices as low as $299 per eye. is it possible to just get one? eyepatches are kickass but you'd think "eye surgery" would arbitrarily encompass both eyes. it seems like a package deal. do plastic surgeons base ther breast augmentation prices on a per-breast basis? pa-diddle.

oh me... always with the boobies.

back to mining safety (sexy isn't it?): it's of course troubling that industry regulations have become so lax in the past five years. is it surprising? not to me. it is but a harbinger of the blatant class warfare being waged on the lower and middle classes by the "haves," the "hawks."

claim the moral high ground (whereupon no bare boobie is allowed!), force seniors to choose between medicine and heat, corporations are kings, miners' lives cost $230 apiece, and all... is... right... with the world (in best howard kosel imitation).

a lovely bunch of coconuts.

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currently listening to:
mates of state

bring it back (2006)

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gee isn't love great? it sure is!

it's time again to launch into my trademark bitter diatribe about valentine's day (bitter diatribe about mardi gras to ensue). i'll submit the usual disclaimer:

if any of you blog or e-mail me about how lovely and romantic and wonderfully wonderful of a time you and your significant bother had on that unholiest of unholies then you are dead to me. that may or may not be of concern to you; i don't like certain people, certain people don't like me.

remember -- you're only flaunting your shit. i don't like public displays of annoyance or the virtual variety. don't make other people's lonely misery worse by showcasing your success in interpersonal relationships. i've grown quite fond of my loneliness and if you make me question my love for it then words will be had. also i'il shave my #$%!@, put !@#$% on my @%#!#, and *#@!#$% you in the @#$%.

fuck commercially fabricated "holidays". rover red rover let russel stover bend over while i shove a chocolade-covered boot up his ass. it's not called the hershey highway for nothing russ.