on my way in this morning i saw a bumper sticker on a pickup truck that said "bush/cheany '04" and right next to it was another sticker that said" ssquirrel: it's what's for dinner". incidentally the truck was holding up traffic, going slower than the posted speed limit.

girth they avoid

i think ralph nader is losing it. i pasted below an actual open letter (not long) nader wrote to michael moore (from the nader web site) in which he ostensibly calls michael moore a fatass, not without a bit of sarcasm. correct me if i'm wrong, but does it seem like nader is getting a bit insane lately? i guess not being able to get on the ballot anywhere is making him feel unappreciated.


Hey, Michael, Where Were Your Friends?

Once upon a time, there was Michael Moore the First. He never forgot his friends. Come time for the Washington, DC premiere of Bowling for Columbine a while back, he invited his old buddies in Washington — gave them good seats and spent the rest of the evening with them. During his other movie's premiere, he affectionately recognized how much those old friends helped him and supported him after he was mistreated and let go by Mother Jones. He was generous with his words and time.

Now there is Michael Moore the Second. Last night he hosted the Washington, DC premiere of Fahrenheit 9/11, and who was there? The Democratic political establishment, the same people whom he took to such mocking task on the road with us in campaign rally after campaign rally in 2000. Who was not there? His old buddies! Not personally invited, not personally hung out with.

A few weeks ago, Michael, I sent you a message: "Hey, Dude, where's my Buddy?" It is attached. It has gone without reply. It simply asked you to come back to your progressive constituency and take on the two-party monopoly of our rigged election system — to challenge the pro-warlike, corporate party with two heads, wearing different makeup when it comes to playing toady for Big Business. These are the giant multinationals who have no allegiance to our country or to communities like Flint except to control, deplete or abandon them. It is not that your views have changed, with an exception or two. It is that your circles have changed. Too much Clinton, not enough Camejo.

Your old friends remain committed to blazing paths for a just society and world. As they helped you years ago, they can help you now. They are also trim and take care of themselves. Girth they avoid. The more you let them see you, the less they will see of you. That could be their greatest gift to Moore the Second — the gift of health. What say you?

Best wishes,

Ralph Nader

album du jour: delays faded seaside glamour

i find this album very enchanting, i would love a second opinion

all of a sudden this wave of depression came over me just now. before anything too destructive occurs i think i'll take some sleeping pills and doze through it. hopefully i'm just tired.

undeclared peanuts, bush underwear

on the way to work this morning i was listening to news radio and there was a clip about some brand of ice cream that had to issue recalls because some of their products had "undeclared peanuts". undeclared peanuts... my new alt-country band. it sounds like something the irs would be on your ass for. "yes we'd like to take a look at your nut profits for the last fiscal year".

i think these are pretty self-explanatory.


 


 

saturday night

when i'm home on a saturday night i feel sad. i dont' feel like that saturday night "loser" because i'm home alone, i just have to adjust my frame of mind to that of someone content with being by themselves. sometimes even when there are real opportunities to go out i have premonitions of a bad night, and i stay in. such was the case tonight. plus i got drunk last night and i would like to have at least a partially relaxing weekend. saturday nights have odd feelings.

how funny is this picture

i'm browsing various louisiana blogs and i've noticed there are several conservative-based sites. anyone want to found a louisiana liberal blog with me? i'm only toying with the idea right now.

i changed my template. this is more concise i think, and i'm into minimalism these days. plus i see so many blogs with these complicated formats that make it harder to read. remember your audience. i'm lazy. less is more.

i just moved into my own office. it has a window and everything. it's also in the corner of our suite of offices, so now i can tell people "i have a corner office with a view". it's a view of the second floor fire escape, but still.

watch this drive

my word, my stars, goodness gracious, it's raining hard outside. i didn't really need to put "outside" in that sentence. of course it could be "raining men" inside, so maybe clarification wasn't a bad thing there. it's almost ten and the boss man still isn't here. so i can just sit here and blog situational while listening to air america. still it would be better if i were lying in bed at home. of course when is that not true.

i would really like to go see farenheit 9/11 today but i don't think it's even playing in lafayette, according to moviefone anyway. i saw an hilarious clip from the movie yesterday on the daily show where bush tells a group of reporters that terrorism must be destroyed, then, turning away, he says, “now watch this drive,” and tees off. it was pretty fucking funny. you can actually watch it at moviefone. check that out.

also - on the floor of the senate yesterday our allustrious vice president dick cheany told vermont senator patrick leahy to "go fuck himself". i think leahy was making statements about haliburton and war-profiteering. isn't there just an abundance of political entertainment these days?

album du jour: catherine wheel happy days

the humpday dance (is your chance)

today i am all alone, all by myself, no one is looking.... i was thinking of you (old green day lyrics - ahhh high school). everyone else is working in cameron parish, so i'm handling all the phone calls whilst i download music and play scrabble blast on msn. that's right, i'm playing games at work in my second week. wanna fight about it?

and i can piss with the door open! why does that excite me... i can snoop around and take off my shoes and pump up the volume on my laptop and lip-sync all the live-long day. yeah i'm gonna get fired.

favorite word(s) of the day: chickenhawk war pimps (guess what it refers to)

lately i've been strangely addicted to dandy warhols music. i've always loved them but recently i cant get their songs out of my head and really don't feel like listening to anything else. and this concerns me because i really don't want to get tired of it. i'll have to ration it out, interject some other stuff in between my listens and interpretive dancing. i was listening to monkey house yesterday afternoon and i think my boss saw me lip-syncing. not a big deal though.

early morning revelation: lip-sync is the oppositve of karaoke

i wish it was friday. i want beer, and lots of it.

album du jour: dandy warhols dandy warhols come down

hannity!

when i look at sean hannity i really can't help but feel a little sorry for him. he looks like he was one of those pitiful kids who always tried desperately to get their parents' attention but could never live up to expectations. and now he has his own radio show, but mom and especially dad still think that he's just a bum. they probably realize, like everyone else, that everything he says on the air is complete crap. he's like the stereotypical son of a federal judge or other successful position who ended up dropping out of their rich private school to start their own backdoor casino and eventually turned to smack to deal with their feelings of inadequacy. and after several visits to several methodone clinics, payed for by the resentful but dutiful parents, he finally landed his own talk show thanks to his dad's high-place friends. and now little seannie still can't win approval from mom and dad. "but look dad, i'm wearing a suit! love me! tax cuts!"

album du jour: the dylans the dylans

favorite albums 2001

1. the shins - oh, inverted world
2. my vitriol - finelines
3. pj harvey - stories from the city, stories from the sea
4. travis - the invisible band
5. pinback - blue screen life
6. the white stripes - white blood cells
7. le tigre - feminist sweepstakes
8. rainer maria - a better version of me
9. radiohead - amnesiac
10. built to spill - ancient melodies of the future
11. new order - get ready
12. basement jaxx - rooty
13. avalanches - since i left you
14. sing-sing - the joy of sing-sing
15. splashdown - possibilities
16. benett - welcome to the jungle
17. call and response - call and response
18. curve - gift
19. electric soft parade - holes in the wall
20. the beta band - hot shots II
21. the strokes - is this it
22. detroit cobras - life, love and leaving
23. stars - nightsongs
24. tracy and the plastics - musclers guide to videonics
25. the butchies - three
26. rjd2 - your face or your kneecaps
27. rufus wainwright - poses
28. turin brakes - the optimist lp
29. lali puna - scary world theory
30. thestart - shakedown!
31. the siddeleys - slum clearance
32. !!! - !!!
33. ladytron - 604
34. life without buildings - any other city
35. dismemberment plan - change
36. simian - chemistry is what we are
37. girlsareshort - contact kiss
38. autolux - demonstration
39. swell - everybody wants to know
40. tahiti 80 - extra pieces
41. burning brides - fall of the plastic empire
42. goldfrapp - felt mountain
43. the helio sequence - young effectuals
44. freezepop - forever
45. the cranes - future songs
46. brittle stars - garage sale
47. pete yorn - musicforthemorningafter
48. muse - origin of symmetry
49. rilo kiley - takeoffs and landings
50. spoon - girls can tell

honorable mention:

the shermans - happiness is toy-shaped; 14 iced bears - in the beginning; kings of convenience - versus; erase errata - other animals; i am the world trade center - out of the loop; echobelly - people are expensive; r.e.m. - reveal; varnaline - songs in a northern key; kristin hersh - sunny border blue; the superjesus - the jet age; fonda - the strange and the familiar; minus the bear - this is what i know about being gigantic; air - virgin suicides; reindeer section - ya'll get scared now, ya' hear; mouse on mars - idiology; beulah - the coast is never clear; clem snide - the ghost of fashion; marquee moon - television; the walkmen - everyone who pretended to liek me is gone

weekend summation

friday night i was going to sit around and get drunk here at home, but i was exhausted after work. really all i ended up doing was cutting my hair, then beddy-bye.

saturday morning i woke up and cut grass. by "saturday morning" i of course mean 1:00 in the afternoon. the sky got very dark immediately after i finished and it poured down for a while. it was nice sitting on the carport having a beer (or six) while it was raining. i sometimes like to marvel at the lawn right after i cut it; my wondrous creation. i went with my aunt and her friend to damascus, a greek restaurant, and had baba ganoush and hummus, among other things that i can't remember, and wine. greek food is awesome.

afterwards they dropped me off at a friend's house and we drank some more, rearranged furniture, complained about bush, listened to some sonic youth, then walked downtown to see this band called elephant man. i didn't think i'd like it but they were good. or they sucked and i was just fucked up - mox nix to me. somehow during the evening i managed to make new friends of three nice-looking girls at the bar. i don't hit on girls, especially in bars, but occasionally i get in an introductive way. god bless gin.

*postscript: why do most girls seem to like those fruity-sugary-schnappy-sex-name shots? i can't stand those. if i wanted to drink a fucking hawaiian punch i could have walked to the coke machine outside the grocery store near my house. give me tequiler or vodker (suddenly i think in ted kennedy's voice?), or something that makes doing shots a real ritual. doing a shot of hard liquor makes me feel like i've accomplished something.

so anyway, i crashed back at the friend's place, came home, slept all day, and am now about to read up on some stuff for work tomorrow.

album du jour: afghan whigs black love

puff puff give

my boss was late this morning so i had to wait on the stoop outside the offices for him to arrive. while i was waiting this really nice-looking female passed me to go up the stairs to the offices above ours. she was smoking a cigarette when she passed me. the last girlfriend i had was a smoker, and i found it disgusting in many ways - it got to the point where i started having a bias against all smokers. when i saw this person though the smell really didn't seem that offensive. so maybe my disapproval of smoking just stems from associating it with a really mean ex-girlfriend (who refused to chew gum to make her breath smell better - what the fuck?). i actually used to be a smoker, and now relegate myself to indulging only when drinking. how can you not right? i wonder if i could now get away with being just a little intolerant of smoking, since i did quit myself. eh, probably not.

album du jour: the daindy warhols 13 tales from urban bohemia

cat naps

my cat is not a good sleeping partner. she came and jumped on me at 2 a.m. this morning and kept me awake until about 5. i love her to death, but here's the rub:

- she generates alot of heat (and has to sleep right against me), and i cannot sleep even if only remotely hot.
- she snores, that's right, snores.
- i think she must have really active dreams because she twitches constantly and makes odd groaning sounds when she's not snoring.
- like clockwork, at 5:30 every morning she begins bellowing for her breakfast. tuna smells unpleasant enough, but even moreso in the early morning hours.

so i didn't sleep much last night and am consequently drained already. but i love mister kitty.

album du jour: devo freedom of choice

doing installations gives me gout. i don't like staring at lines creeping slowly across the screen. there's this big map of louissiana on the wall in front of me and i'm getting very well-acquainted with its geography. from behind it probably looks like a giant boot is stepping on my head - that's work for you. i don't have an office yet, although i will. microsoft sucks.

i am bender please insert girder

i haven't said anything the last couple of weeks about this because i didn't want to jinx myself. i'm not superstitious though so that really makes no sense. yesterday was the first day of my new job. me... job... i maintain networks remotely and handle helpdesk calls and other brickabrack. sounds wonderfully boring and aggravating doesn't it? maybe, but after such an extensive period of personal atrophy it's a pretty cool thing for me. i know it will get old at about eight o'clock tomorrow morning, but for the moment i'm revelling in my exodus. the whole thing is not permanent as of yet; i'm on a 90-day trial, at the end of which i'll either be elated or suicidal (always a fine line). everyone pray to the patron saint of lost causes (still johnny cochrane?) that it works out. for now though, i'll just think of myself as one step closer to that great american median mythos i hear so much about. next step: back problems.

my new sonic youth dvd came in the mail, so now i'll have something to lay on the floor and watch before i lay me down to sleep (at a reasonable hour, believe that?).

album du jour: ben kweller on my way

ronnie and mikey

i posted a letter from ronald reagan a few days ago that was sentimental and touching (i love to be touched), but i want to make it abundantly clear that i do not approve of reagan's politics. of course there is respect for the office and deference for the passing of a fellow human being and all, but as far as policies go it seems to me that he was just another overly-clandestine rightie.

concession: all politicians are clandestine by nature, but you have to compare the varying degrees. i find that nine times out of ten the righties go much further over the line than the democrats.

while i'm making side notes: democrats are not necessarily liberal, and liberals are not necessarily democrats.

so i was too young during the time of reagan's tenure to really give a shit about politics, so most of my opinion comes posthumously from information i've gathered recently. i've been hearing nasty-sounding words like "iran-contra" and "iraqi aid" (please read this one, it's amazing). all in all i'm not impressed. and keep in mind, bush sr. was veep under reagan, and probably much more than veep in the second term when reagan's mental capacities were waning. i could come up with a plethera of jokes about george w. and waning mental capacity right here, just insert your own.

reagan didn't end communism, communism did. did reagan have anything to do with it? his economic policies concerning the soviet union certainly didn't hurt the downfall. but it seems that the u.s.s.r.'s economic woes came from the inherent flaws of communism itself, not from reagan telling gorbachav to "tear down this wall". it doesn't matter though, since ronnie went on tv telling mikey to do it and it was subsequently done, there must be a cause-effect relationship there right? nah. but for us americans who only read headlines and look at purty pictures, it's enough. reagan's a hero (who said hindsight is 20/20?).

but reagan is dead now, and there's a possibility that the widow reagan may now be a persuasive ally in the fight for stem cell research. i heard joe conason say on the radio today that the conflict in the stem cell research issue is that between reason and stubbornness, or something to that effect. doesn't it seem that reason and tradition are at the foundation of every political controversy? think about gay marriage, anything religion-related, terrorism (and dealing with terrorism)... if you really look you'll see these at the heart of everything. then you have to really wonder why it is that people are so afraid of progress contributing to the greater good ($$$ maybe?). i've said it before, people are terrified of change, unless they're getting it back from a hundred-dollar bill.

album du jour: the cranes particles and waves

hey middle earth, suck on this

i just watched return of the king and it is not lord of my favorite movies. and i understand that there are alot of people who have very special places in the cockles of their hearts for this movie, but not i (said the blind man). did anyone else sense homosexual undertones? i got the impression throughout that all the hobbits wanted to jump each other's bones (one in particular). too much drawn-out drama en route to a predictable ending (and i haven't read the books). it certainly wasn't a bad movie, although i wouldn't have given it an oscar when compared to the other films up for best picture. i really liked lost in translation, with seabiscuit at a not-so-near second. i'm just tired of over-dependence on special effects that ruins movies. it looks cool, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't look real.

i want to sleep for six months so i don't have to deal with any more electionspeak. i grow weary of hearing people's rationale for wanting to vote for bush. "he's got balls". how about that one.

album du jour: sonic youth sonic nurse

guns n' posers

scott weiland is such a junkie. i saw the velvet revolver video for slither and it looks like he's trying really hard to be iggy pop. smack is never the answer little trooper. and please eat a cheeseburger, the waifishness is setting a bad example for us satan worshippers (remember gluttony is sinful?). it isn't a positive influence on our evil aesthetic goals. he does a really nice jesus pose at the end of the video, check that out.

and i've had more than an unhealthy dose of slash sucking on a cigarette and going off on vertical-guitar power solos in the early nineties, i really don't need more.


 

album du jour: sonic youth daydream nation

ronald reagan alzheimer's letter

i only just read this letter today and thought it was moving. it also fascinates me to hear from soneone who knows definitively that their days are numbered. i don't think it's a morbid fascination, just curiosity. a forewarning: there are religious overtones throughout, so beware.


Announcement of Alzheimer's Disease
November 5, 1994

My fellow Americans, I have recently been told that I am one of the millions of Americans who will be afflicted with Alzheimer's disease.

Upon learning this news, Nancy and I had to decide whether as private citizens we would keep this a private matter or whether we would make this news known in a public way. In the past, Nancy suffered from breast cancer and I had my cancer surgeries. We found through our open disclosures we were able to raise public awareness. We were happy that as a result, many more people underwent testing. They were treated in early stages and able to return to normal, healthy lives.

So now we feel it is important to share it with you. In opening our hearts,we hope this might promote greater awareness of this condition. Perhaps it will encourage a clearer understanding of the individuals and families who are affected by it.

At the moment I feel just fine. I intend to live the remainder of the years God gives me on this Earth doing the things I have always done. I will continue to share life's journey with my beloved Nancy and my family. I plan to enjoy the great outdoors and stay in touch with my friends and supporters.

Unfortunately, as Alzheimer's disease progresses, the family often bears a heavy burden. I only wish there was some way I could spare Nancy from this painful experience. When the time comes, I am confident that with your help she will face it with faith and courage.

In closing, let me thank you, the American people, for giving me the great honor of allowing me to serve as your president. When the Lord calls me home, whenever that day may be, I will leave with the greatest love for this country of ours and eternal optimism for its future.

I now begin the journey that will lead me into the sunset of my life. I know that for America there will always be a bright dawn ahead.

Thank you, my friends. May God always bless you.

apple!

what is up with the names celebrities come up with for their poor children? gwenyth paltrow named her baby "apple". apple! andre 3000 (outkast) and erykah badu named their child "7", which isn't even original since, of course, george costanza wanted to name his son or daughter seven in a seinfeld episode. by the way, they don't spell out "seven", it's the actual numeric character. jason lee has a son named "pilot inspector". jason lee kicks ass though so i'll let it slide. the always-greasy germaine jackson named his son "germajesty". you know, i'm all for creativity in all facets of life, but why put your child at a disadvantage right from the start? kids have enough problems and giving them an effed-up name just ensures that their future monthly drug perscription bills will be staggering. apple!

i had a gin-soaked weekend. very unlike me of late to hit it twice in one weekend (or in one month for that matter).

album du jour: moloko statues

i need to use the phone houseguest. you have two cell phones houseguest. please get off our phone houseguest.

haiku to the houseguest

where can my phone be
confiscated by houseguest
i long to dial thee

some of these are funny

Things you'd love to say out loud at work:

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

You know the acronym behind your name won't keep me from kicking your ass in the parking lot.

Do I look like a people person?

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

Oh I get it... like humor... but different.


album du jour: steadman loser friendly

dream diary

my mom was teaching a rollerskating class in the gym of one of my former high schools, except it was a college class. i went with her to hang out while she was teaching. i stayed in a storage room that had a bunch of sports equipment, band instruments and ten-speed bicycles. for some reason one of my former managers was there in the storage room/space with me, making me nervous. one of the kids in the class got a megaphone and said something about me taking up a valuable parking space outside, and that the only reason i got it was because my mom was a teacher. the class laughed. all this made me irate and i wanted badly to skate out onto the gym floor in my rollerblades and do physical harm to this person, but my manager held me back. and a good thing too, since the student turned out to be a girl with a deep voice, not a male. i would have looked rather foolish skating out to beat up a girl, especially if she turned out to be one of those miss-fitness-america types who could kick my ass. i got even madder at the situation, though, because my mom didn't really reprimand her. i think ashton kutcher was in the class.

anyway, i woke up from an otherwise wonderful rest feeling pissed off and depressed. freud you suck.

album du jour: pj harvey uh huh her

you're at the mall and i'm missing you

yesterday i was forced to go to the mall to buy pants. much kicking and screaming was involved - i detest the mall. almost all the clothes at jc penney were on sale, but unless the clearance is 100% off i still don't think it's worth having to traipse the mall. there are renovations going on there currently, and being that it was memorial day the construction materials were being stored in this big wooden bin in the middle of the mall. on the side of this bin it said "please excuse our progress". i'm probably being over-analytical, which admittedly i often am, but i thought the statement was oddly profound. how typical that we should scorn improvement, and at the mall no less. we want it now! make it better now! i need to shop at generic leather store number 5 now! and i want a sunglass hut right in front, so i can impulse spend on my way out bastards! is there a foot locker here or what? where's my pretzel?

incidentally i have to return the pants today because i don't like them. i should try things on, but i hate the mall. buyer beware.

album du jour: the killers hot fuss